WNBA Urges Voters: Kick Kelly Loeffler’s Terrible Ass Out of Congress

The WNBA pulls no goddamn punches.

With unelected Georgia Senator Kelly Loeffler revving her 2020 bid into high gear, the Chicago Sky and Phoenix Mercury have stepped up to campaign against her, in solidarity with disgruntled players from Loeffler’s own franchise, the Atlanta Dream.

In an era where American sports are lousy with manufactured demonstrations, this is as real as it gets. Loeffler, a Republican appointed last year to the Senate by Georgia Governor Brian Kemp, is vulnerable in November — having spouted more than enough racist bullshit to alienate the state’s heavily Black population.

Doing their part to get Loeffler and her dead eyes out of Washington, members of the Sky and the Mercury sported T-shirts Tuesday reading “VOTE WARNOCK,” a reference to Raphael Warnock, Loeffler’s Democratic opponent in the race. Warnock, a Morehouse alum and doctor of theology, is a senior pastor in Atlanta’s historic Ebenezer Baptist Church.

Loeffler, meanwhile, is a mutant abomination, composed entirely of Ayn Rand novels and stale farts. Just terrible. Think of her as a lesser Pokémon evolution of Ann Coulter: It’s not that Loeffler’s rhetoric is inflammatory, because she’s not charismatic enough to be inflammatory. Instead her banal drones cause more of a dull thump, like a stubbed toe, or an undiagnosed tumor. More to the point, Loeffler serves as an agonizing reminder of the ease with which the stupidly wealthy can achieve positions of power despite lacking crucial qualities like talent, tact, or a warm-blooded circulatory system.

Kudos to you, Chicago Sky and Phoenix Mercury. Jesus, Kelly Loeffler sucks. And take note, NBA players, as you’re sifting through your nice, safe list of league-approved protest slogans.