Football Page 1536 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Torry Holt Would Like to Apologize for Sucking
First Steven Jackson was totally not happy with Rams' head coach Scott Linehan's decision to bench Marc Bulger in favor of Trent Green. Former All Pro and now mediocre wide receiver Torry Holt is the latest to voice his displeasure with the whole situation. He just wants to play some football, "It w...
Elway Engaged To Former Raiderette
Former Denver Broncos superstar John Elway is engaged—to a former Raiders cheerleader. Traitor bastard! Paige Green, a 41-year-old that Elway met at a golf tournament three years ago, moved to Denver a year after she met the NFL Hall-Of-Famer. John presumably celebrated the engagement in typical Elw...
HUGH I: Uh Oh, Clemson Has Decided To Show Up This Week
Something strange happened on the way to Death Valley this afternoon—Clemson woke up. Tommy Bowden must have decided that this would be the one ACC game where he would actually prepare his team. C.J. Spiller ripped off a 35-yard run, while the Tiger defense managed a goal-line stand to hold the Terp...
Laundry To Play Somewhat Prominent Role In Big Games
Georgia is whipping out the (yawn) black jerseys for their game against the Crimson Tide tonight, which I guess is fine, if you don't get worked up about the concept of landscaping or the lineage of dogs. Penn State, kicking off their conference slate tonight against Illinois, will be wearing their ...
Hunter Cant(Throw)Well Serves Up Pick-Six, Cards Mucked Again
After their 26-21 loss to Big East rival UConn, the Louisville Cardinals' short run as a nationally prominent football program seems to be winding down. First-year starting quarterback Hunter Cantwell threw a pick-six in the last three minutes of their game last night, snatching defeat from the prov...
Seahawks Message Board Poster Succeeds In Creating Rivalry With The Giants, Fails As Human
On many occasions, team message board trash talk veers toward some very unpleasant depths, but some of the stuff being circulated on the popular Seahawks fan message board "Seahawks Huddle" right now has sparked an amazing amount of negative responses thanks to its unprecedented levels of classlessn...
College Football Preview: The Blackout Is Coming to Georgia!
If you stayed up past midnight on the east coast last night to watch USC-Oregon State right now you're blearily wiping your eyes and cursing the decision as lunch nears and all you want to do is crawl under your desk and sleep. If you're like me you might also be questioning why you let Birmingham,...
Oregon State Fans Know How To Celebrate
Honestly, I think that Oregon State students were more excited about having Erin Andrews on campus than they were with the Beavers' 27-21 upset of USC. It seems as if every second sign in the place had some reference to her. Kudos to Beaver Nation for getting this sign on the air ... a move that was...
Innuendo Bowl LXXI: #1 USC Trojans vs. Oregon State Beavers
Do you like games where the No. 1 team loses on the road? Well, too bad, because that game's not for a few weeks. Until then, we have a nice Pac 10 game between two "rivals" for you which will be over by mid-second quarter. We got ESPN's Chris Fowler, Jesse Palmer, and Craig James(er) in the box. We...
Nation Stunned By Brazen Kidnapping Of Keggy The Dartmouth Keg
Order has only begun to be be restored to the peaceful tree-lined streets of Hanover, New Hampshire today after the shocking kidnapping ordeal suffered by Keggy, the popular Dartmouth College beer keg. The quasi-official school mascot was ruthlessly abducted and held for ransom over the weekend, and...
Shocking Development In Idaho Cheerleading Controversy
Cassie Helm, the Idaho State cheerleading coach whose squad was ordered to tone down their uniforms because they were wee a might too revealing, has resigned in a fit of selfless protest. Last week, you may recall, the Vandals' cheerleaders were ordered out of their skimpy outfits by campus administ...
Thursday Night Football Primer: USC Prepares To Crush Oregon State
Give ESPN credit for Thursday night college football. In the beginning the Thursday night slate was awful. Rarely, if ever, would good teams play against other decent teams. It was the bottom of the college football barrel. Then teams started to recognize the value in monopolizing the nation's atte...
Meanwhile, Down At The Arlington DMV ...
Sunday night can't get here soon enough for Washington Redskins fans, one of whom slipped this little gem past the ever-vigilant profanity watchdogs at his local Department of Motor Vehicles. The plates on his other car say "Assman." Elsewhere, noting that Terrell Owens is not in the NFL top 10 in e...
Celebrating the End Of The Millen-ium
Of all the Matt Millen farewell "tributes" we've come across this morning, Tirico Suave's video compilation, shown immediately following the jump, has to be the most intricate and heartfelt (make sure the volume is turned down if you're at work). Featuring not one, but two clips from Glengarry Glen ...
Matt Millen: Lonely Man With A Lawnmower
After a few hours of cautious speculation about Matt Millen's removal, it was finally revealed that Detroit Lions' owner William Clay Ford did actually have to fire him in the early hours of Tuesday morning. The Detroit Free Press has a surprisingly mesmerizing photo retrospective titled "The Matt M...
Exit, Thunder Collins
Big things were expected of running back Thunder Collins when he arrived at Nebraska in 2000 from East Los Angeles Junior College, where he was an All-American. But things never turned out the way he had hoped, either on the football field or in his personal life. As a runner he turned out to be one...
Feisty Merril Hoge Vows To Keep His Hatred Of Vince Young In Check
Yesterday, the swirling melodrama around Vince Young's crazy head reached another level when transcripts of Merril Hoge's interview with a Pittsburgh radio station circulated. Even though Hoge's Young-bashing has been evident since the quarterback entered the league, he went a little overboard this ...
Georgia-Alabama Game To Be Friendly Backyard "Funeral" (With Cussin')
The premier game of this Saturday's college football schedule is the evening tilt between No. 3 Georgia and No. 8 Alabama, two SEC schools that have very little animosity toward each other. The host Bulldogs are instructing their fans to dress all in black as part of an innovate strategy designed to...
Fire Millen Finally Becomes Reality; But Now What, Lions Fans?
Every legendary movement begins with one daring act of civil disobedience. As close as I can tell, the Fire Millen phenomenon began one crisp December day in 2005, when a fan was manhandled by stadium security for brandishing a "Fire Millen" sign during a home game with Minnesota. Had Lions official...
The Matt Millen Era Mercifully Ends In Detroit
It appears Bill Ford Jr.'s comments from a couple days ago were either not-so-subtle foreshadowing or they were taken under consideration by those who do have authority, because according to Fox Sports' Jay Glazer, Matt Millen, the Detroit Lions oft-criticized president and general manager, is offic...