Football Page 1550 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Maj's Bets O' The Week
Amateur athletics and gambling go together like Will and black fabric. Which is why I asked the Paul to my Mary, Unsilent Majority, to share more of his college football gambling wisdom with us here today. Obvious disclaimer: this shit could be wrong. Horribly, horribly wrong. But hey, good luck! Ta...
It's Good To Be Jimmy Johnson
On a lazy Friday afternoon, we present to you, apropos of nothing, a montage of Jimmy Johnson looking ridiculous....
Seemingly, No One Drinks In Wisconsin
Nothing's more fun than college football in the fall. Tailgating, commiserating with friends, cheering on the local team, general camaraderie all around. And, of course, drinking: What's football without a cold brewski or two beforehand. It clears the lungs. Clearly, the folks in Madison understand ...
That Series Of Tubes Can Be Confusing
When you think of all the technological wizardry NFL coaches have at their dispersal, we wonder sometimes if the next world-changing innovation will spawn from the mind of a Dorito-peppered slouch coach bunkered in his office at 4 a.m., watching game film and suddenly discovering cold fusion. They c...
No One Cares About Your Fantasy Team? WRONG, WHORE!
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....
Looking Sharp, Philadelphia!
If you are watching the Eagles game this Sunday, there is nothing wrong with your television set. Donovan McNabb is still black, and those really are the Eagles uniforms....
Chris Henry Probably Isn't Felonious; Just Dumb
We know what suspended Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry was doing on Sunday; he was watching football with our own MJD. And now we know what he doing the rest of the week; accidentally stealing rental cars....
Welcome Back, Byron
Byron Leftwich, here showcasing his vaunted scrambling ability, has signed a two-year deal with the Atlanta Falcons. It seems like a logical destination, though we hope it doesn't affect Joey Harrington's performance having a guy breathing down his neck. You don't want to mess with a beautiful thing...
It's Open Season On Charlie Weis
The Charlie Weis / Notre Dame pile-on continues, gloriously. Some of it is justified, like criticism of how the school has handled the Demetrius Jones situation. (They're making him pay for school at Northern Illinois this year by not releasing him from his scholarship.) And some of it is really jus...
Mike Ditka, Socratic Orator
Yesterday, a group of retired athletes, along with NFL commissioner Roger Goodell and NFLPA wingnut Gene Upshaw, testified before Congress about the lack of sufficient benefits for former NFL players. This is a noble cause — a lot of these guys can barely walk — but one that we suspect is not helpe...
And With One Torch, A Child's Dreams Are Lost
Nothing's funnier than hearing a child scream "Nooooooo!" This guy's gonna make a great quarterback's dad someday....
Carr Surely Has Lots To Contribute In This Friendship
We're still a little bewildered by the fact that Russell Crowe was on the sidelines for Michigan's win over Notre Dame on Saturday. We don't understand why he cares so much about American collegiate football, first off, but mostly ... this guy is really friends with Lloyd Carr?...
This Week In The SSW
For years — OK, a couple of days — Slate writer Robert Weintraub has been tinkering with a concept called The SSW, short for "The Sean Salisbury Wisdom," which tracks the consensus of the football punditocracy to ensure those triumphant declarations from Friday aren't flushed down the memory hole o...
Some Thirsty Folks In Central Florida
A key for fans at any college football game is to stay properly hydrated. It's not like they sell beer there or anything, which means you have to sneak in a flask, and when you're drinking that much absinthe, you're gonna need some water. Unfortunately, the new Central Florida stadium forgot about t...
Jon Kitna Was Sacked For Your Sins
You just knew that when God finally made his presence known to mankind, it would be to heal a journeyman NFL quarterback's minor head injury. So you Iraqi kids with missing limbs, you're just going to have to wait your turn. Jon Kitna's got to take care of business!...
Woe To The Eagles Fans (And Those Who Sit Near Them)
The pregame festivities might have been more exciting than the actual game, but, nevertheless, we're gonna do our best to keep our distance from Eagles fans for the next couple of days....
Your Chance To See Philly Fans In Prime Time
A night game in Philadelphia always seems, to us, like asking for trouble. Even if fans actually do go to work today, if they leave at 5 p.m., they're gonna have enough time to really mess some matters up. Or, you know, paint their bodies....