Football Page 1652 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Confirming Once Again: Penises Are Funny
From the front page of Friday's Purdue Exponent, this photo shows Purdue fans getting "rowdy" as they bat around a huge inflatable penis during their loss to Notre Dame a week and a half ago. Or, as the caption to the paper's photo puts it, an "oversized phallic object."...
College Football's Hidden Shenanigans
One of the best things about the Web is that it can strip away one moment from a larger event — or coverage of said event — that would have been lost otherwise and highlight it, for better or worse. Two of the best examples of this are videos from the last weekend of college football, currently ci...
You Won't Have Martz To Kick Around Anymore
The St. Louis Post-Dispatch's Bernie Miklasz — who once almost quit his job to follow Bruce Springsteen around on tour, which we think is awesome — is reporting that everybody's favorite bad coach whipping boy Mike Martz is stepping down as coach of the St. Louis Rams. Martz has suffered heart tro...
SI And Mike Price Bury The Bodies Together
Sports Illustrated announced this morning that it and former Alabama coach Mike Price have "amiably resolved" the lawsuit Price filed against the magazine for a story it ran in 2003....
NFL Roundup: Davenport Craps Out
• After intercepting an Anthony Wright pass in the end zone, Lions defensive back Dre Bly honored injured Packers running back Najeh Davenport by doing a spitting-image impersonation of him. Which was nice, we thought. • After yesterday, we'll just say that we're going to really enjoy watching Terr...
Buying T.O.'s Discarded Junk (For Charity!)
This man's name is Bob Lipinski, and he's an "entrepreneur" from South Jersey. (cough-mob-cough) And he is now the proud owner of Terrell Owens' NFC Championship ring from last year. He won an auction for the ring that Owens held to benefit victims of Hurricane Katrina. We've brought up our suspic...
Brokeback Mountain Update: Inscrutable Brit Slang Edition
We still can't quite get enough of these still-percolating Peyton Manning-Kenny Chesney rumors. To get you up to speed, British gossip site Popbitch reported that one of the main reasons for the Zellweger-Chesney divorce might have been his "friendship" with Manning. We then uncovered an old quote...
Oh, The Fun They'll Have
According to Sports By Brooks and KMPC Radio in Los Angeles, now that college football expert Nick Lachey and non-sports-related wife Jessica Simpson have reportedly split up (or maybe not), Lachey might actually be moving in with Southern Cal quarterback Matt Leinart. (We're going to assume he do...
Orton, Bears Acknowledge Drooling Jack Daniels Photos
For all you poor souls who doubted the authenticity of our Kyle Orton getting bombed pictures, stand up and recognize: The Bears and Orton addressed the pictures yesterday....
Welcome Back, Vinny
Well, that didn't take long at all: Vinny Testaverde has returned as starter for the New York Jets. We're not sure he'll be any better than Brooks Bollinger, but he most certainly will be more fun. Our favorite part of Madden 2005, by the way, is signing Vinny to The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Ca...
Chad Johnson's Evil Genius
Fans are still buzzing about Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson's inspired touchdown celebration against the Chicago Bears a couple of weeks ago, in which he aped Michael Flatley's Riverdance routine. Funny, definitely, and certainly original. But was it a quiet, brilliant rip on Bears linebacker ...
Bear Down, Chicago Bear
Far be it from us to tell starting quarterbacks of first-place NFL teams how to spend their bye week, but we couldn't help but post these pictures — sent to us by a reader — of Bears QB Kyle Orton, at a bar in Iowa City over the long weekend. It was taken on Thursday, hence the Blue Jays-Red Sox g...
Jesus Christ, All-Pro
Little Billy was a terror on defense — he had been living in the opponents' backfield all day. But then he took it one step too far. Yes, as you may have guessed from this photo, Billy was penalized 15 yards for "roughing Jesus," an infraction that also carries loss of down, plus possible eternal ...
Phil Simms Keeps His Eye On The Balls
One of our favorite ongoing gags at Out Sports is the running tab of homoerotic comments made by CBS analyst Phil Simms during his telecasts. Favorites from the past include "[Miami running back] Lamar Smith doesn't look like much in his underwear" and his constant references to Dan Marino as "a h...
NFL Roundup: Party Para Mexico
• We're a little slow this morning, because did a shot every time ESPN showed some Mexican "culture" during last night's 31-14 Buzzsaw victory over the 49ers. We know it's unusual to play a game in another country, but the slack-jawed awe of the broadcasters last night — "look, another local! Thes...
Who Is The Dumbest Team In Football?
It's a general consensus, we think, that football players are considered dumb. Even if they were smart at birth, once their brains were subjected to repeated jostling for two decades, all the good genes probably ended up dripping out. Well, the Wall Street Journal today looks at how each NFL team ...
The World's First Buzzsaw Blog
The day we've been personally waiting for has finally arrived: The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals finally have a fanblog. We have searched high and long for a Buzzsaw blog for many years, and we found none; according to our research, they were the only team in the three major sports — not t...
Bad Time To Think Of Peyton
Just an update on our Peyton Manning/Kenny Chesney/Brokeback Mountain item from yesterday: We were doing some searching, and we found this pretty damning story from Chesney, via Anecdotage:...
Rammer Jammer Motley Hammer
We're not sure what much more we can add to this picture except to say we're curious if this makes Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer author Warren St. John exuberant, horrified or both....
Alberts Prays To Wrong God For Help
Earlier this month, ESPN college football analyst Trev Alberts was fired by his network for refusing to show up because of an airtime dispute. In his first public comments since the firing, Alberts says that ESPN has pretty much crushed his ability to be on TV again....