Today's Episode Of "The Buzzsaw Has No Idea What It's Doing"

Various reports have claimed that Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals coach Dennis Green will be fired by the team at the end of the season, a move that at this point seems so wholly obvious that it's kind of strange they're waiting until the end of the year. Hey, why wait, ya know? He's already provided us all the press conference fun we're gonna get.

Typically, the Buzzsaw brass has denied they're firing Green, a statement that's yet another full-frontal assault on the non-existent Buzzsaw fan base. But that's not all; the reports — again, denied by the team, because Dennis Green in no way has lost grasp on what he's doing, nope — claim that the top choice to replace him is Steve Mariucci, the only guy who, at the end of his tenure, seemed to have less idea what was going on than Green currently does.

We still have a feeling they're gonna end up with Mike Martz. Just feels right, for some reason.

Dennis Green's Ass Crowned With Walking Papers [Kissing Suzy Kolber] Cardinals Deny They've Decided To Fire Green [Chicago Tribune]