When a national columnist is a guest on your radio show and he proceeds to call the local college quarterback a prostitute, and his his former coach a pimp, then you've got two things, my friend: Ratings gold, and a genuine douchebag. Welcome back to our stage, ladies and gentlemen, Gregg Doyel, who appeared recently on ARN's "The Sports Animals" radio show with hosts Shawn Arnell and Wally Hall. Doyel came off as borderline insane during the interview — something he's quite good at — and concluded things with an impressive meltdown and an abrupt phone hangup. Let's review. At issue was Doyel's Thursday column in which he called for Mississippi coach Houston Nutt to "run up the score" on his old team, Arkansas.
They're still there, you know. The crazies. The wackos. The lunatic fringe of Razorback Nation. They're still there, lurking in their small towns and conniving on their message boards, and they deserve to be punished.
Doyel then appreared on The Sports Animals that afternoon to discuss the column, but first, he couldn't resist a swipe at ... Tony La Russa? Doyel was calling from Philadelphia, where he was covering the World Series.
"I like Joe Maddon," Doyel said. "I like that guy because he doesn't sit back there like Tony La Russa and act like everything out of his mouth is brilliant."
OK, we've set the tone. Forecast is for bitchy, with a chance of meowwww. In explaining his column, Doyel trashed the Arkansas fans as lunatics, called several of their players knuckleheads, and said that former Razorbacks quarterback Mitch Mustain "allowed himself to become a prostitute. Gus Malzahn was the pimp and Houston Nutt was the john in this recruiting tryst." From Arkansas Business.com:
Also, Doyel says he should have added the line that while he hopes Houston Nutt runs the score up this week, he also hopes he goes 4-8 "because you're an idiot too." Doyel hints to needing an editor, such as one of the radio hosts. He needs someone — fact-checker would be a good start.
At one point Hall asks Doyel if he had actually spent any time in Arkansas in preparation for his column, and Doyel cut him off, yelling "Shut up! Shut up! Let me talk!" Then, at the end, this:
"The whole goal was to have me on and embarrass me so you could have the message boards say how great you are," Doyel said to Arnell, "and I'm sorry I didn't play along, but it was fun nonetheless."
Then as Arnell tries to ask him another question, Doyel hangs up on him. Arnell, on the whole experience: "The guy needs some medication." Hall: "There are idiots among us ..." Anyway, if Doyel wants to be the next Jay Mariotti — clearly what he's shooting for, as far as I can tell — he's going to have to make some fundamental changes. First, invest in some collared shirts, man. Second, the Rayhawk has to go. And third, you've got to get meaner. Prostitutes? Pimps? You can do better than that. Mustain is a socialist who hangs around with terrorists and wants to redistribute your hard-earned paycheck. Try that. He Said What?: CBS Columnist Gregg Doyel Implodes On Arkansas Radio [ArkansasSports360.com]