Aaron, this could have been an email [Updated]

The quarterback appeared on The Pat McAfee Show today to tell us a lot of nothing

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Aaron Rodgers said he wants to play for the New York Jets
Aaron Rodgers said he wants to play for the New York Jets
Screenshot: YouTube

Updated: “It is my intention to play for the Jets,” Aaron Rodgers said Wednesday on The Pat McAfee Show.

That piece of information took way too long to be revealed...


Dear Aaron Rodgers,

You really suck, dude. Not only do you suck, but you’re a bastard for jerking us around. You’re probably sitting in a cave somewhere, laughing at everyone who is waiting with bated breath for your “monumental” decision.


Do you want to play, or do you want to sit in the jungle, tripping off psychedelics? This should not be a difficult decision. People need to know so they can move on with their lives. You probably enjoy watching every sports outlet lavish you with praise, hoping to be the first to get the real scoop. We used to think Alex Rodriguez was an attention whore. But you, sir….you take the cake, Mr. Rodgers. You are the absolute worst A-Rod in sports. And that’s saying something based on that other narcissist.

Your highly publicized “Darkness retreat” ended weeks ago, and still nothing. You’re no better than Brett Favre before he finally left Green Bay. Your off-field drama hasn’t reached the level of Favre’s (yet). You aren’t being accused of helping divert welfare funds from poor folk (which Favre has denied), so that’s good, but you’re still a jackass who swerved us with your “immunized” nonsense. But, of course, you’re the almighty Aaron Rodgers. You can carry on how you please with little consequence.

Apparently, the Packers are finally tired of catering to your demands and are ready to ship you out. Luckily for you, sir, they are being very nice about how and when they move you along. How the hell does a guy who’s won one Super Bowl, get such white glove treatment? Tom Brady was eventually shown the door and forced out of New England after leading the Pats to six rings. Joe Montana was sent on his way to Kansas City after going 4-0 in Super Bowls in San Francisco. He didn’t get any special treatment. But the Packers cater to you because you’ve thrown a lot of touchdowns, but not when it matters most.

Make a damn decision and head to the Big Apple. Or stay in your lair experimenting with ayahuasca and leave us alone. At this point, it doesn’t matter because you’ve made a mockery out of everybody in the sports world. Get over yourself, Aaron. You’ve been a great player, but you ain’t worth all this. Double-check that.


Truly disgusted,

The entire sports world

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