Jesus Wins The Masters

mjdeadspinmjdeadspin|published: Sun 8th April, 19:56 2007

I'd like to credit Zach Johnson for the win, but he keeps giving all the credit to Jesus. Hey, he won it, he gets to choose where the credit goes.

Johnson, with Jesus and his grandfather (Zach's, not Jesus's) pulling the strings from heaven, held off Tiger Woods and everybody else to earn himself a garish piece of green laundry. The winning total was +1, with Tiger Woods among a group of three in second place at +3.


It just wasn't Tiger day. He didn't have the normal swagger, the normal stare, the normal drive in his step. He was any average PGA Tour golfer today. Everything seemed awkward and forced, like the day was one long high-five with his caddy, except there was no joy behind it.

Unfortunately for Jim Nantz, the name Zach Johnson doesn't easily lend itself to trite puns. That's consecutive major sporting events for Nantz where he's been shut out in this respect. Would it kill the Lord to allow someone whose name rhymes with "green jacket" to win this thing sometime?

The Official Site of the Masters Tournament [Masters.org]

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