Locker Page 1116 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Scottie Pippen's Porsche Had A Fender-Bender In Chicago Today
Scottie Pippen, who is totally not bankrupt, had a minor car accident on Chicago's Magnificent Mile this afternoon. According to our tipster, his Porsche collided with an Audi at the corner of Michigan and Chestnut (right across the street from the Hancock Center). Pippen stepped out to make a phone...
Rhino Fart Just Demolishes Morning Newscast
Hoo boy, if you weren't watching Kickin' It With Kenny on today's Fox 8 Cleveland news, you missed out. Never fear: here's the moment when mama rhino Kibibbi let fly during her morning hosedown. That's 1.3 tons of rhino rumbling your speakers and sending reporter Kenny Crumpton into a giggle fit f...
British Texas Rangers Fan Interviewed During Last Night's Broadcast Thinks The Team Is "Lovely Jubblies"
Jim Knox's interviews with fans during Texas Rangers telecasts have become a bit of legend around here, and he continued his streak of finding interesting individuals last night when he came across a boisterous Brit with a love for the Rangers. (We encourage you to Google 'Lovely Jubblies,' thoug...
What Is The World's Greatest Pasta Shape? Or, Why Linguine Is Bullshit
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering roaches, revolutions, jizz nutritional values, and more. ...
The Genius Of <em>Enemy Of The State</em>, Tony Scott's Best Film
In the reaction to the sudden death of Tony Scott, a quick consensus emerged: Scott was a more interesting director than he'd been given credit for throughout his career; Top Gun and his general style helped usher in the age of Michael Bay and Olivier Megaton-ism; and the one movie everyone could ag...
Steven Jackson Will Crumple Like A Duraflame Log: The Deadspin 2012 NFC Fantasy Football Preview
I used to plan my fantasy football drafts meticulously. I used to create spreadsheets with my own personal rankings of players, established only after poring over any number of inexplicably pricey preseason fantasy guides (Eight dollars, Street & Smith's? BLOW ME) and scouring numerous online mock d...
Deadspin Up All Night: The Fireworks Are Hailin'
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Go out and do something nice while the weather cooperates. Or don't, and do something awful, like watch Eagles-Patriots while Mike Tirico and Jon Gruden yell at you. Just know that you have the choice....
Kentucky Monitors Athletes' Social Media Accounts For Sports Agents' Names
Just in case you thought the whole creepy social media monitoring thing was starting to die down, it's not. Back in May, we got a glimpse into LSU's use of a social media monitoring company called UDiligence, where athletes were already being monitored for the use of hundreds of hilarious trigger w...
So Much For The Jeremy Lin Effect: MSG Stock At All-Time High
Shares of $MSG closed the day at 39.39, for a market cap of $2.98 billion. That's an all-time high for the stock, squeaking past the previous high at the beginning of NBA free agency, and blowing past the numbers at the height of Linsanity. This means nothing, but so does everything that came before...
Deadspin Up All Night: Raise It Up
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Enjoy the rest of this glorious evening. We will be around, checking in just in case....
Deadspin Up All Night: Drink 23 More
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. We'll be around and back at it tomorrow like it's our job. Because it is!...
Man Escorted Out Of Comerica Park For Being So Drunk He May Have Pissed Himself
Here, for your convenience, are all the classic signs of a person who has had too much to drink. Wobbly knees. Friend struggling to help the person home. Others delighting in the person's misfortune. A brush with law enforcement. Oh, and piss-soaked shorts. [Sweater Punch]...
Deadspin Up All Night: Bigger Than Gasoline
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Sean and Tim will be among those here this weekend for all the meaningful baseball and meaningless football. Hope yours is fun....
Dead Letters: "Congrats You Unimaginative Retard"
Subject: Too Funny...
Your <em>Expendables 2</em> Power Rankings
The Expendables 2 has 11 names on its poster only because there is not room, either in poster space or running time, for 47. It is New Years Eve with testicles. It is the turducken of action movies. Rather than review the film, I thought I'd just rank those 11 names, in ascending order of Expendable...
Who Is The World's Most Recognizable Athlete?
Saw this photo over at TBJ, of Kobe Bryant making an appearance on his annual Nike tour of China, and it's no surprise. China loves Kobe. Loves him. That's a billion people who go nuts at the very sight of Bryant, a global superstar for 15 years now. It got me thinking: who's the most recognizable a...
Guantanamo Detainee Wants LeBron James To Apologize To Cleveland
Afghan Muhammed Rahim, a former translator for Osama Bin Laden, spent a long time in a CIA secret prison before being moved to Guantanamo Bay in 2008. Which is to say, he hasn't had a lot of time to check in with NBA League Pass. But even Rahim couldn't let "The Decision" pass by without a comment....
![Bull Gores The Shit Out Of Matador [Possibly NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17w9lb5z6wy8djpg.jpg)
Bull Gores The Shit Out Of Matador [Possibly NSFW]
This is the moment Fernando Cruz took a horn halfway through his abdomen, at a Madrid bull ring on Wednesday. Cruz received a couple of gores, to his stomach and abdomen, with both horns. If you're not a fan of killing animals for sport, maybe you're applauding this news. We're not about to call you...
Can We Talk About The <em>Real</em> Vanessa Bryant Quote That Makes Her Sound Like An Awful Person?
There's a New York Magazine article out on the perks and challenges of being a basketball wife, and it's required reading as long as you can get through sentences like these without killing yourself:...
VP Candidate Paul Ryan Praised The "Storied" Cleveland Browns And Quarterback "Brendan Wheaton"
Political pandering is hard to pull off right these days, but Paul Ryan should know better than to laud a "storied" franchise that's never won a Super Bowl and has one winning season in the last 10 (and, depending on your interpretation of such things, has only existed since 1999). Also, you got t...