Locker Page 1184 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

<i>Malcolm In The Middle</i> Makes A Rare NBA Rap Video Appearance
Thanks to tipster Rob and his rapper friend "Rube" for this ode to the NBA. He brings up a good point and something that is often overlooked in this hotly contested negotiation: "When I'm stuck watchin' reruns of Malcolm in the Middle and World Series of Poker can you fathom just a little the void...

Bam! Pig Humping A Cow!
I have no idea if this will actually work, but if it does make babies, I want to eat them....

Manny Pacquiao Sings An Awkward, Tender "Sometimes When We Touch" Duet Live On Canadian Television
Manny Pacquiao was on TSN's Off The Record this afternoon, and was surprised mid-interview with the sound of Dan Hill's voice—the same Dan Hill who wrote "Sometimes When We Touch," which is a Pacquiao standard by now. Naturally, the two men sang a duet to close the interview....

If Anyone In Sports Had To Get HIV, Magic Johnson Is Glad It Was Him
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Magic says his wife hit him—in a good way—when he told her the news....

Nickelback Somehow Victorious In <i>Nickelback v. The People Of Detroit</i>
More than 50,000 people signed a Change.org petition to keep Nickelback from performing at the Lions' Thanksgiving Day game, and somehow, Nickelback still won. This absolutely has everything to do with 11/11/11. [CBS Detroit]...


Happy Veterans Day! Here Are Some Really Happy Dogs Welcoming Soldiers Home
Originally published Nov. 11, 2010....

Rest Easy, America: The White House Disapproves Of Penn State Child Rape
White House Press Secretary Jay Carney said today that "the president's thoughts and prayers, and all our thoughts and prayers, are with the victims of the abuse and the family members of those victims."...

Are All Fake Field Goals And Fake Punts Useless?
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Just When You Thought Humanity Couldn't Go Lower, Someone Steals Shawn Bradley's Bicycle
When Shawn Bradley returned to his suburban Salt Lake City home, he found his barn door open and his Trek bicycle gone. Bradley is "upset" and "frustrated" and "dumbfounded," mostly because the bike is custom-made for his height and there are probably eight people in the world who would even be able...

In Completely Unrelated Penn State News, Adam Taliaferro Is Now An Elected Official
Taliaferro, who was paralyzed during a 2000 game but recovered enough to lead the Nittany Lions onto the field a year later, is now a Gloucester County (N.J.) freeholder-elect. I don't know what that is! But it has nothing to do with Jerry Sandusky! So yay. [Gloucester County Times]...

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update
Part of Chad McGhee feels bad for the kids on a Paint Creek Pirates football team that got 45-ruled by the mighty Knox City Greyhounds on the first play of the third quarter Friday night. This is likely because Chad is riding the joylightning of a 46-0 victory which clinched a playoff berth for th...

Bill Clinton Cameoed At Today's Fruitless Lockout Negotiations
Let's take a brief respite from Penn State-related news to check in on the second-most miserable topic in today's sports coverage: the NBA lockout! If you've been following even from afar lately, you probably know that Bobcats owner Michael Jordan ruffled some feathers last week when he emerged as...

Is PSU The Biggest Sports Scandal In Modern History?
There was a cave cricket in my basement last night. They're horrible, nasty creatures that have +8 jumping ability. You have to act FAST in order to exterminate the little cocksuckers and protect your family, and so I quickly pinned him against the wall with a toy rocking chair and he was all mangle...

There Is Finally An Inspirational Children's Book About Danny Woodhead
If every undersized, scrappy professional athlete could have an inspirational children’s book written about him or her, the world would be full of adolescents with overblown expectations about their futures. But since that’s already the case with America’s youth, scraptastic young men like Greg Paul...

Stephon Marbury Has An Opinion About Michael Jordan And The Lockout That Makes Perfect Sense
Michael Jordan has taken a lot of grief since he emerged, in a twist that should surprise nobody, as the leader of a group of hard-ass NBA owners knifing away at the revenue pie. Now he's taking grief from whatever fun-house PC bang Stephon Marbury has decamped to these days. I'll leave the parsing ...

If You're From That Ohio Town Overrun By Wild Animals, College Hoops Fans Will Never Let You Forget It
Zanesville, Ohio, was put on the map by the release of 56 exotic animals, but the fun never stops as the Ohio University-Zanesville Tracers kicked off their not-even-NAIA basketball season on Friday night. Upon arrival at Mount Vernon Nazarene University, they were greeted by the Student Section of ...

The Jets-Bills Game, In One Flinching Sanchez And One Steamrolled Bison
Mark Sanchez is not a wide receiver. He is a quarterback, a celebrity, a franchise, a patron of the arts, a deviant, and a pitchman, but he's not a wide receiver. So when he lined up wide in the wildcat (and as for why the Jets were running the wildcat up 16 with three minutes left, your guess is ...

David Stern Issues Late-Night Ultimatum; NBA Players Set To Reject Latest Proposal
NBA players and owners negotiated well into last night and only stopped when Commissioner David Stern got pissed and issued an ultimatum after the players rejected the latest proposal....

Rex Ryan To Appear As Patriots Fan In Adam Sandler Movie Also Starring Vanilla Ice, Susan Sarandon
Rex Ryan will have a cameo in an Adam Sandler movie due out in 2012 called I Hate You, Dad. He'll play a Boston-area lawyer and a passionate Patriots fan, which is funny, because Rex Ryan wants to be the head coach of the Patriots actually hates the Patriots....