Locker Page 1188 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Grading NBA Players On Their "LET US PLAY" Twitter Pleas
Today is last day the NBA lockout can end without missing games. Too bad. The lockout isn't ending, despite the social media screeching of various union members. The NBPA thankfully has retweeted much of that screeching solidarity. Here's how we classify it....

Unlucky Biker Gets Jacked Up By An Antelope
Evan van der Spuy was expecting a quiet little race through a South African game reserve over the weekend. He'd get some exercise, maybe win some prize money, maybe even see some animals!...

Oh God Oh God The Bull Gored Him Right Through The Face (NSFW)
Remember this guy from last year, getting a horn under the chin and out the mouth? This one is like a billion times worse. Please know what you're getting into before you watch the video or view the (much more graphic) photo....

Kobe Has A Kwame Brown Story, And It's A Very Kwame Brown Story
The highlight of Kwame Brown's Los Angeles tenure was escaping charges for theft and wanton destruction of a chocolate cake. Kobe Bryant's highlight of Kwame Brown's Los Angeles tenure was when Kwame Brown was traded away....

This Evening: Andrei Kirilenko Joins His Old Team In Russia, Poses With An AK-47
Your p.m. roundup for Oct. 6, the day some really hung squirrel ruined a bake off. Photo via That NBA Lottery Pick. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

At Least Arvydas Sabonis Can Still Have Sex
The Basketball Hall of Famer had a heart attack last week, and doctors told him he's going to have to change his lifestyle. "‘You can't smoke, you can't drink, you can't play basketball.' So of the things I like, only sex is left." [Blazers Edge, via TBJ]...

Stats Show The New Kickoff Rule Kicks A Whole Lotta Ass
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

This Season, For NBA Action We Turn To A Bunch Of Pacers Fans In China
At their annual meet-up (because there are enough Pacers fans in China to dictate an annual meet-up), the men of ChinaPacers.com reenacted some of Reggie Miller's greatest hits, set to the original calls. That's lovely and all, but it's burying the lede; the real story is that ChinaPacers.com exis...

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update And Tony "Horny Little Bitch" Romo Evisceration
The mighty Knox City Greyhounds got back on the right side of the scoreboard by defeating the Woodson Cowboys 46-0. A marvelous victory. A redemptive victory....

Amar'e Stoudemire Eats Mostly Kosher, And He Has A Friend He Met "Through Private Jets"
The editors of Bon Appetit magazine—better known as Gourmet for the moderately illiterate—dropped in on a lockout dinner party at Amar'e Stoudemire's house. We learned that it's good to be, uh, staring down a year with no paycheck....

LeBron Is Apparently Spending The Lockout Teaching His High School How To Lose Football Games In The Fourth Quarter
Your morning roundup for Oct. 5, the day we were propositioned via breakfast burrito. Photo of LeBron in pads back at school courtesy Fox8. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Joakim Noah Is Not Afraid To Show Off His Lockout Business Plan
Writes tipster Zach, "It's good to see that Joakim Noah is spending his time during the lockout figuring out some low post moves and not hanging out with Florida coeds...oh, wait..." See what Zach did there? Noah is hanging out with coeds. That's why you're looking at that picture right now, notici...

"It's A Pretty Obscure Lockout. You Probably Haven't Heard Of It."
Here's a photo of some NBA players who spent the day getting thrown up against a wall by David Stern. We'll save our discussion of BRI split for another day. For now, I'd like to draw your attention to the man in the hipster-snug flannel shirt, Baron Davis, looking very much like the lost black memb...

Roger Goodell Has Reviewed Roger Goodell's Decision On Terrelle Pryor And Ruled In Roger Goodell's Favor
Here's Goodell, just oozing sanctimony: "In my judgment, allowing players to secure their own ineligibility for college play in order to avoid previously determined disciplinary consequences for admitted conduct reflects poorly not on college football—which acted to discipline the transgressor—but o...

Why It's OK To Hate Ron Jaworski And Jon Gruden
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Delonte West's Furniture-Store Job Application Is Absolutely Magical
Delonte West wanted to work the stock room at Regency Furniture. He needed this break (which he did in fact get) in order to "stay afloat during the lockout."...

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update And T-Shirt Sales Pitch
Last Friday was not a good day for the Knox City Greyhounds. In fact, per superfan Chad McGhee, "it went bad." Like 54-8 bad. "Nightmare on Elm Street" bad. "I pray to the Lord that this team regroups and gets their heads out of their asses hopefully" bad....

Taylor Branch Expects Schools And Conferences To "Revolt" Against The NCAA Within Five Years
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Taylor Branch still has some words on the NCAA and amateurism....

