Locker Page 1198 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Intel Executive Wonders Moronically "What Intel Can Learn from Miami Heat's Recent Loss"
Let's watch a bunch of Intel employees draw a lot of silly corporate lessons from the failure of one really good basketball team to beat another really good basketball, shall we? First, here's an executive's blog post, written on the company's internal site and passed along by a tipster. We've left ...

With NBA Lockout Looming, Gilbert Arenas And Dwight Howard Start Planking
Perhaps you are familiar with planking, one of those odd fads forced upon us by Australians. (Just like Hugh Jackman!) One planks by lying completely flat on an odd surface and then photographing it....

What's The Best Way To Clean Up Spooge After Bareback Sex?
Hey, I'm some lady. I'm filling in for that guy you like, who is on vacation, which means that he is most likely drinking rum out of a hollow fruit and riding a horse on a beach somewhere right now (romantic!). Speaking of segueing into talking about horses, my main beef with horses is how fragile t...

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Can Fit Inside A Bonnaroo Port-A-Potty
We have photographic evidence, courtesy of tipster Alex, that Kareem Abdul-Jabbar attended Bonnaroo this year — a fact some of you may have already known, depending on your hipness — and that he is both willing and able to use the common-folk Port-a-Potties at the annual four-day acid trip for our n...

Charles Barkley Has Opinions On Things
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Barkley is asked questions and gives answers and it's fascinating as always....

Man Vs. Lion Goes Down Pretty Much How You'd Expect
A modern day Egyptian gladiator announced plans to fight a lion to the death in the name of boosting tourism. This weekend he made good, locking himself in a steel cage with a bored, lazy lion who just wanted to digest the whole donkey he was fed beforehand....

Why Your Fans Are Weird: The Bunny Man Of Yankee Stadium
We've seen the Bunny Man at enough Yankee games over the years to know he's got season tickets, and the felt rabbit handpuppet is doing his thing 100 percent of the time. Throughout the entire game the bunny sits on his lap, watching the game—he moves the puppet's head to follow the action on the ...

Nets Owner Elected Head Of Russian "Opposition" Party That Really Won't "Oppose" The Kremlin
After he was elected the head of Right Cause — a Russian political party "once openly anti-Kremlin, but more recently the party has been led by loyal personalities" — Nets owner Mikhail Prokhorov said he probably wouldn't publicly call bad-ass Prime Minister Vladimir V. Putin out publicly....

Jay Bilas Can't Stop Talking About Young Men's Body Parts
Last night, Jay Bilas had to talk for about NBA draftees for about five hours. Even for a person like Jay Bilas, who has probably known five hours of utter silence in all of his 48 years on this earth, five hours is just too much analysis. Faced with this challenge, our brave esquire-commentator h...

The NBA Draft: Where Love Happens?
Jan Vesely, a 6-11 swingman from the Czech Republic, was selected sixth overall by the Washington Wizards in last night's NBA Draft. For any 21-year-old, the moment would have been special. You're on national television in a brand new suit, and you're about to become a millionaire. But Vesely and ...

Your NBA Draft Open Thread
It's time for the Passion of the Jimmer, and, allegedly, lots of other young men. Come for the comically sized suits, stay for David Kahn's asinine decisions!...

"Goddamn It, I'm Rich," Backup Sixers Guard Lou Williams Tells Us In New Rap Video
Some of the players drafted tonight will become stars, despite our dire predictions, some will be busts, and others will forever be NBA rotation guys, the Lou Williamses of the world, who, try as they might, just aren't quite as good as Jrue Holiday....

Hard-Hitting Dan Patrick Asks Kyrie Irving Where He's Going, About A Million Times
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The same question, asked many different ways....

Big Baby Is Struggling Through The Mirror Stage
The last time we checked in on Glen "Big Baby" Davis's development, he had lost track of himself — a classic case of méconnaisance, according to the limited memory I have of my intro to lit theory class. Now, as Danny Ainge declares his annual Boston Armageddon, Davis is confronting new trauma: what...

The Brilliant Legal Mind Behind Mark Cuban's "Fuck You" Brief
We had to ask Mark Cuban for comment on today's legal filing, which consisted of a photo of the Mavericks celebrating a title. It's a dagger of a brief in the face of a suit accusing him of mismanaging the team, and it shuts down any comebacks. But Cuban deflected credit, telling us "it was all the ...

Dwight Howard Stole Rihanna's Hair For This Surreal Spanish Talk Show Appearance
Dwight Howard went on the Spanish talk show El Hormiguero this week, for some unknown reason. For other unknown reasons — Dalí, quizás? — he arrived in a red wig and attempted to put on a tiny T-shirt. We'd rather not know the details here. There's much more of this to sit through, if you care to,...

"He's Got A Great Personality": Your Passive-Aggressive 2011 NBA Draft Scouting Roundup
The NBA playoffs are over; the NBA Draft is here. Time to stop watching Dirk Nowitzki, LeBron James, Dwyane Wade, Kevin Durant, Derrick Rose, and Chris Paul, and to start dreaming about the future—a future in which, honestly, none of this year's prospects have much hope of being better than the leag...

Jimmer Wants To Be A Knick
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: young Master Fredette knows exactly where he wants to play....

Chicken-Hatted Lady Confounds Orsillo And Rem Dawg
In the middle of a ten-run inning, Red Sox broadcasters Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy got distracted by a fan wearing a chicken hat, and completely lost the plot....

A Lot Of Surprisingly Hopeful And/Or Bored Timberwolves Fans Greeted Ricky Rubio When His Plane Landed
Today, somewhere on the order of 200 fawning Minnesotans greeted 20-year-old uberguard Ricky Rubio at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport....