Locker Page 1211 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Vince Carter Reminds Us That He's Still Vince Carter
A chin-strapped, goateed Vince Carter took off against the Thunder last night and, with a quick spin-move into the block and a graceful reverse dunk, returned us all to a time when he was Half Amazing. Carter has been in the league for 12 years and he's still averaging close to 15 points per game ...

Here's Video Of John Wall Elbow-Punching Zydrunas Ilgauskas In The Ribs Tonight
It's videos like this that make America wish Erik Spoelstra was a little more like Jeff Van Gundy and Zydrunas Ilgauskas emulated Alonzo Mourning. Oh, both Wall and Ilgauskas got thrown out and the Heat won....

Broken, Bitter Isiah Thomas Still Loves The Game
Loves basketball. Wants to be in it forever. Not so much love for his once and future rivals, Jordan, Bird, Magic....

Four Cans Of Corn Will Get You Two Tickets To A Timberwolves Game
Attention, fans of canned vegetables who will also tolerate watching the Minnesota Timberwolves play a game of basketball: buy four Butter Kernel cans of your choosing for a bargain three dollars (string beans, collard greens, you name it), and you can get two tickets to see the 17-53 Timberwolves i...

Scott Raab Shaved "QUITNESS" Into His Head For LeBron's Return
Esquire's Scott Raab, whose LeBron Watch here chronicled Cleveland's inevitable doom last summer, still is not quite cool with LeBron James, the Whore of Akron....

The Cavs Got Their 15th Win Last Night, And It Happened To Be Over The Miami Heat
The Cleveland Cavaliers beat the Miami Heat at home last night, 102-90, for just their fifteenth win of the season. For the 51-23 Heat, who clinched a playoff spot over two weeks ago and just have to survive the remainder of the season without a significant injury, this was really just another sli...

The NCAA May Be Approaching Its Day Of Reckoning
Once upon a time, complaining about exploitation in the NCAA made you the turd in the punch bowl and/or Jason Whitlock. "College athletes should be paid" marked troll territory. Rollie Massimino selflessly forges boys into men, damn it! He's never made a dime off basketball!...

The Hissy Fit Over The Kings Enters Angry Letter-Writing Phase
The Maloof brothers are determined to move their basketball team to Anaheim. But Kevin Johnson, the mayor of broke-ass Sacramento, isn't having it, not unless the Maloofs first pay off the $77 million they owe. So Sacramento fired off a snippy letter to Anaheim (see below). This is correspondence fr...

Look At Shawn Marion's Disgustingly Dislocated Pinkie
Shawn Marion could care less that his pinkie looks like this and terrifies small children. He doesn't plan to get it fixed. He feels no pain. Good thing this is on his left hand (just saying). A few more nasty details from ESPN's Dallas outpost:...

They're Still Playing "Friday" At NHL Games, And At Least One Grown Man Is Enjoying It
We know that internet memes generally have a very particular shelf life, and we respect that Rebecca Black's "Friday" phenomenon might have worn out its welcome by now. When we first posted the video to accompany another meme, it had 200,000 views; it now has 61 million views and a dedicated Tumbl...

Here's A Yoga Video Involving Children And Farm Costumes That Will Freak You Out
Tipster Dave B. describes the video he sent in accordingly: "creepy fucking dude doing yoga with kids and people in farm animal costumes." He nailed it....

Let's Start The Day With A Story About Kindness
Your morning roundup for March 27, the day people continue to concern themselves with Dennis W. Peterson losing his front teeth at a Hooters....

Here's Video Of The Game-Winning Backdoor Alley-Oop In Last Night's Blazers/Spurs Game
The box score will show that the Portland Trail Blazers (42-30) defeated the San Antonio Spurs (57-15) by a score of 98-96 last evening. The replay shows the fantastic manner in which the game's final two points were scored....

When An Adorable Dog Interrupts A Soccer Game, All You Can Really Do Is Rub His Tummy
Sky Blue FC and LdB Malmo played for the title in the Alanya International Women's Tournament of Champions last week, and the game was interrupted by an adorable dog that just wanted to roll around in the grass. Before a stadium official could get all Moreno on the pup, it made a streaker-worthy e...

You May Have Missed Emeka Okafor's Absurd Buzzer-Beater Last Night
While his alma mater advanced to the Elite 8 last night, Hornets center Emeka Okafor went for some Laettner-esque heroics (too soon?) at the buzzer in Salt Lake City. This nifty shot sent the game into overtime, and even playing without David West in the extra period, New Orleans won 121-117....

White Basketball Players Are Funny Because They're White
Make no mistake about it: "Scooch & Josepi" ain't nobody's kind of people. Per their site: "Their work covers all facets of satiracle comedy, including cultural diversity, and other controversial topics. If you don't like it…WHATEVER BRO."...

Rajon Rondo Won't Shoot If You Pay Him
Via TBJ, Rajon Rondo pulls up on the breakaway rather than attempt the risky (for him) uncontested layup. Rondo finished the night shooting 2-12, which brought his season percentage down, but not by much....

Rodney Stuckey Is The Latest To Embarrass Chris Bosh
Since Miami beat Detroit last night, 100-94, and since the Heat (49-22) are already in the playoffs while the Pistons (25-46) decidedly are not, all we can really say about this game is that Chris Bosh still found a way to make it embarrassing for the guys in red. Here's Rodney Stuckey, the doll o...

One Girl Lost A Weave While Another Parted With A Fake Arm During An H&M Brawl In Philly
While the fight itself is nowhere near the caliber of the I(ride the ride)Hop, Oakland B.K. or Chuck E. Cheese's brawls, there's something to be said for a headless mannequin wearing a "Knot Violence" T-shirt....
