Locker Page 1235 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Breaking: Knife Twisted Further
The rumor is that the new-look Heat will open the season in Cleveland. But because every goddamn thing has to be televised, we'll know for sure when the NBA announced opening week, Christmas and MLK Day matchups tomorrow in primetime. [Plain Dealer]...
Miami Bound Cavs Star Thanks Cleveland Fans. Not <em>That</em> One, Obviously.
Zydrunas Ilgauskas took out a full page ad in yesterday's Plain Dealer, thanking the fans for his time spent in Cleveland. It's a nice gesture, but why does the wording leave an odd taste in our mouths?...
Deadspin Classic: Cats Playing Soccer? Cats Playing Soccer
In the summer of 2010, the World Cup captured the attention of this humble sports blog and it was only a matter of time before the Internet produced the perfect viral video to celebrate the event....
Can Black Men Be Douchebags? Oh, Yes
I ate corn on the cob the other night. I had to shuck it before I could wrap it with butter in foil and throw it in the grill. I can't for the life of me shuck an ear of corn and get ALL the corn strings off. It's fucking impossible. If anyone has tips to rid the world of corn strings, I'm all ears....
Sen. Jim Bunning, R-Pluto, Thinks Stephen Strasburg Is A Wuss
Bunning, onetime pitcher and current obstreperous shitbag, waggled his cane yesterday at young Strasburg: "Five-hundred twenty starts, I never refused the ball. What a joke!" Then he clutched his shoulder and cried, "My arm!" That was either sarcasm or thrombosis. [Politico, via]...
Lorenzen Wright Found Dead In Memphis (UPDATES)
Former NBA player Lorenzen Wright, missing since the weekend, has been found In a wooded area in southeast Memphis. Police are also investigating a 911 hangup from Wright's cellphone that was made Monday....
Ahmadinejad Says Paul The Octopus Spreading "Western Propaganda And Superstition"
Iran's president accused Paul of representing all that's wrong with western society, in multiple speeches over the weekend. No, I think that was Dutch soccer. [Daily Telegraph via Unprofessional Foul]...
Seven Ways To Improve The Modern Automobile
There was a violent thunderstorm here on Sunday. It knocked out our power for two days. I was with my kid at some local pool when the clouds started to gather. Suddenly, the thunder rolled and the lifeguard ordered everyone out of the pool. The wind started whipping up like fucking crazy, blowing tr...
Chris Paul Is No Less Of A Cocksucker Than LeBron James
Despite their "productive" meeting today, Chris Paul still wants out of New Orleans. The breakup-in-progress has been very public, and very heartbreaking for Hornets fans. So why do we give Paul a pass while we continue to pile on LeBron?...
Wilderness Unsurprisingly Impedes Insane Wilderness Marathon
Eric Strabel was on pace to shatter the record of the Crow Pass Crossing wilderness marathon in the Chugach Mountain region of Alaska when a bear "surprised him on the trail." Then he got lost. Then a moose blocked the trail. The Crow Pass marathon is a 24-mile sprint through mountains and forest...
The John Salley Story Corner: A New Feature
Every week, John Salley, onetime Bad Boy and currently the arachnoid half of the Spider and the Henchman podcast, will regale us with an amusing and occasionally salacious story from his playing days. Today: Rony Seikaly isn't down with this "postseason" shit....
David Kahn Continues To Be Eminently Quotable, Stupid
The Timberwolves GM on newly acquired Michael Beasley: "Michael Beasley smoked too much pot in Miami, but he's a changed man now." On Chris Webber: "He's kind of a schmuck, isn't he?" Then he begins a sentence with "methinks." [Star Tribune, related]...
Floyd Mayweather Takes In A Cockfight
These are purported videos of Floyd Mayweather at a rooster fight in San Juan, PR., instead of doing what we all wish he were doing: training for a fight with Manny Pacquiao. But this looks fun too, I guess....
Armed Robbery Will Turn Stephen Jackson Into The NBA's Charles Bronson, Bobcats Beat Writer Thinks
The wife of Bobcats forward Stephen Jackson was held at gunpoint by home invaders, locked in a bathroom, and robbed in the couple's Charlotte home Wednesday. Trauma aside, she's fine. But don't tell that to Rick Bonnell of the Charlotte Observer....
Mutton-Almost-Bustin' At The Tour De France
Alberto Contador came 108 miles closer to winning his third Tour, no thanks to a bunch of of sheep who came out of fucking nowhere to dart across the road in front of the peloton....
Here's A Picture Of Jonah Hill As Paul De Podesta On The Set Of <em>Moneyball</em>
The Michael-Lewis-book-turned-definition-of-production-problems finally started shooting. See for yourself how the baffling casting choice will look on the silver screen. It's really a shame Sam Kinison wasn't available to play the ghost of Connie Mack. [The appropriately named Accidental Sexiness,...
Crazy Rich Arabs Are The Craziest Bastards Of All!
Your letters:...
Last Night's Winner: Jeremy Lin, NBA Player
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Jeremy Lin, the undrafted Taiwanese-American Harvard guy who signed a two-year, partially guaranteed contract with the Warriors and immediately became the NBA's most popular 12th man....
Joakim Noah Spotted In His Natural Habitat: Shopping For Bongs (MORE PHOTOS)
No LeBron and Bosh? No problem. Joakim Noah will just console himself with a night on the couch eating Funyuns and watching QVC. And the water pipe? Well that's for tobacco use only, as the law clearly indicates....
Pug Singing <em>Batman</em> TV Show Theme? Pug Singing <em>Batman</em> TV Show Theme.
A pug! Singing the Batman TV show theme....