Locker Page 1236 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Time To Talk Wife Swapping
I ate a steak last night with béarnaise sauce, and I'm now of the age where doing something like that has definitive and brutal consequences. Oh yes. I'm talking about meat sweats. You know the kind. You wake up at 4AM sweating beefy juices. Your heart feels like a fucking 90-ton weight. You feel li...
Cat Playing Hockey? Cat Playing Hockey.
Cat? Playing hockey....
Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Rony Seikaly
Today on Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: the Spin Doctor, Rony Seikaly. Marvel at his barrage of low-post moves and plus-ability to rock the old nylon warm-ups, all while enjoying the incongruously hard rhymes of the rap group Atmosphere....
Darko Milicic Is Bread From God, And Other Crazy Things David Kahn Believes
"It was like," Timberwolves GM David Kahn said yesterday, "manna from heaven." By "it," he of course means Darko Milicic, and by "manna" he does not mean "flaky white substance blanketing the ground," even though he should....
Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Gordon Hayward
Today's Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape is a real gem: Utah Jazz draftee Gordon Hayward showing off a barrage of put-backs and solid fundamentals to the ferocious "Straight Outta Compton" by NWA. ...
How To Protect Yourself From Excessive Rimjobbing
No time to waste. We again go right to your letters:...
Cats Playing Soccer? Cats Playing Soccer
Cats? Playing soccer....
Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Joe Alexander
Hello and welcome to Incongruous Mix-Tape Theater, an occasional feature in which we look at fan-made athlete highlight reels set to wildly inapt music. Sort of like this one. Today's mix-tape: NBA free agent Joe Alexander; music by rappers The Team....
Ohio Governor Takes His Authoritarian Jackboot Off The Neck Of Live Tiger Mascot
Obie the Massillon tiger is saved! Gov. Ted Strickland announced yesterday he "will ensure the rules allow for the established mascot programs to continue," which means Obie will be free do whatever it is a caged sideline tiger does....
LeBron Watch, Day 55: Dan Gilbert's Top Secret Second Letter To Cleveland
The Cavs owner has already racked up a $100,000 penalty for ripping LeBron James, and now, in the wake of Zydrunas Ilgauskas's departure for Miami, he appears to be gunning for a second fine. Dear Cleveland, all of Northeast Ohio, Cleveland Cavaliers supporters wherever you may be tonight, and res...
Top 15 Cringeworthy Tour De France Crashes
Crashes effectively ended Lance Armstrong's Tour de France this weekend, and they've bedeviled a great many other Tour riders over the years. Our friends at Ranker.com have put together a video listicle of the worst crashes in Tour history....
How To Perfect Your Imaginary Serial Killer Technique
Your letters:...
Ohio Governor Tramples Small Town's Right To Have A Live Freaking Tiger At High School Football Games
Massillon, Ohio, is under siege from Gov. Ted Strickland and the Humane Society of the United States over the town's tradition of stockpiling tigers for use as mascots during Massillon Washington High School football games. The indignation is palpable!...
Timofey Mozgov Is Cocksucker
Today is day Timofey Mozgov becomes most unlikable person in Russian Basketball Super League, and perhaps all Russian sports. I think he is okay a year ago. No more. He is villain now....
"Nazi Octopus" Executed For Paul's Prophecy
Death threats didn't faze Paul, perhaps because of his large security detail. But that didn't stop an Argentine TV presenter from taking out the country's rage on an unrelated octopus, beheading and blending it....
Pacers Screw Indianapolis, Don't Even Kiss Them Afterward
This might be the worst of all taxpayer-funded bailouts: the city of Indianapolis will pay at least $33 million to keep the Pacers for the next three years — not even with a new arena, but just to maintain the status quo....
And You Thought LeBron Signing Would Be The End Of Unsourced Rumors
In an article that should probably have been in the gossip section, Chris Paul reportedly toasted at Carmelo Anthony's wedding to a "Big 3" of them and Amar'e Stoudemire in New York. It's ludicrous, but let Knicks fans have this. [NY Post]...
Counterpoint: LeBron James Is Not A Cocksucker
Yesterday, a guy who spent seven seasons with the team that drafted him announced he wanted to play basketball with his friends and win a lot of games. He wanted this so badly that he was willing to take a pay cut....
LeBron Watch, Day 50: What ESPN Should Have Asked LeBron James
On a night when LeBron James became the most hated man in basketball, only one network had a chance to ask him tough questions about a decision that will shape the future the NBA. And, of course, they didn't do that....
LeBron's Departure Helps Tea Party, Political Writers In Desperate Need Of LeBron Angle
It's early, but this story on The Atlantic's web site might just be the most inane, half-assed piece of LeBron punditry you'll read today. Here, I'll summarize: LeBron made Ohio angry. Angry people join the Tea Party. The end....