Locker Page 1251 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Your Super Bowl Bye Week Pooparoo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
The Cocaine Room: The Super Bowl Deadcast
It's the Super Bowl, so it's time to bring back the immortal DEADCAST for a reboot. Join emeritus Will Leitch and I for a little audio party, won't you? (Listen here, iTunes here.)...
Last Night's Winner: Clappers
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like those who enjoy giving standing ovations every time they hear something they like. Try this in your regular life today and see how it goes....
Greg Oden Bares His Soul After Baring His Pole
Oden held a press conference with Portland media, and did the right thing in owning up to the photos. Now that the news cycle has played out, maybe we can put Greg Oden's penis behind us....
Greg Oden Would Like To Apologize For His Appearance
"Those pictures were taken and sent over a year and a half ago. I've definitely grown since then." [95.5 The Game]...
Last Night's Winner: People Who Don't Play Football
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like athletes who are suddenly going to get a lot more attention now that football season is drawing to a close. You've heard of "sports," right?...
Javaris Crittenton Pleads Guilty To Gun Charge, Gets Probation
The Washington Wizards guard plead guilty to a misdemeanor weapons charge today—as opposed to the felony weapons charge handed to Gilbert Arenas—and will get one year of probation and a fine. Don't worry, it gets weirder....
Today's Knicks Giveaway: Cognitive Dissonance
The Knicks are at a 10-year-high, and among the tops in the league, in new season ticket sales. The selling point is hope for the future. The Knicks lost by 50 today. [NY Times]...
This Dog Likes Racing Dirt Bikes
Well, I wouldn't say "likes racing" them, so much as "clings to the handlebars frozen in terror as his owner races them."...
Glen Davis And The $25,000 Magic Words
For a Big Baby, Glen Davis sure knows a lot of grown-up words. (NSFW language, I guess)...
Thunder Owner Reaches Piddly Settlement In Frivolous Lawsuit
Clay Bennett will pay Sonics season ticket holders $1.6 million (the equivalent of Kevin Ollie), because he raised the price of tickets after the team moved to Oklahoma City. I'm not sure how that works, either. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]...
Saints And Vikings Face Off — In Song! (Prince Update)
New Orleans has a rich history of zydeco, blues and jazz. Minnesota has Prince and...I dunno, The Hold Steady. But both fanbases have come out en masse to pay musical tribute to their teams....
The Triumvirate Of Misery. Your Championship Jamboroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Also Not A Fan Of Socialized Medicine: Brock Lesnar
The UFC Champ just got over a nasty case of diverticulitis, no thanks to Canada. In a move sure to upset half our nation and all of theirs, Lesnar trashed universal health care and called Canada "a Third World country."...
Oh, Go F*ck Yourself, Curt Schilling
"They were up three games to none," Schilling tells Bryan Curtis, analogizing Massachusetts' special election to that one year when he had an owie on his foot, "and there was no possible way they were going to lose four straight."...
Last Night's Winner: Massholes
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Curt Schilling's boy toy, Scott Brown, who posthumously kicked Ted Kennedy's health care loving butt. This is exactly like the American Revolution, but more annoying....
Everything In NE Is About The Red Sox, Even Politics
Martha Coakley is Massachusetts's attorney general. She wants to fill Ted Kennedy's vacant senate seat. She thinks that Curt Schilling is a Yankees fan. This does not bode well for her candidacy....
Most NBA Fans Still Don't Know How To React When There's a Transsexual On The TEE-VEE
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Rabbi Phil Jackson Worries About Donald Sterling's Soul
"If you do a good mitzvah, maybe you can eliminate some of those things. Do you think that Sterling's done enough mitzvahs to eliminate some of those? How about all those other incidents that we have on file?" [LAT]...
Hitler: The Drinking Game! Your Divisional Jamboroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....