Locker Page 1265 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

A Life-Size Kobe Bryant, And His Head Bobbles
Well, this is about the most terrifying bobblehead I've ever encountered. All yours, for the low price of $13,000 — and if you order now, they'll throw in an even bigger head at no extra cost. [Lakers Blog]...

Dirk Nowitzki Can't Escape The Crazy
Dirk Nowitzki has filed for sole custody of the child that might not be his, while his ex-girlfriend is under FBI investigation for threatening his attorney from jail. It's all one big ball of crazy....

Mama, There Goes That Man ... To Minnesota
"Multiple sources have told Pro Basketball News that Mark Jackson has emerged as the leading candidate for the [Timberwolves] position and will wind up with his first coaching gig." Some would call this a grown-man move. [Pro Basketball News]...

It’s Family Hour With A Kinder, Gentler Buzz Bissinger (UPDATE)
Your Deadcast guest this week is Pulitzer Prize winner, author, and noted horsefucker Buzz Bissinger, and he's still got some f-bombs in his pocket. He was Artie Lange before Artie Lange was Artie Lange, you know....

All Kobe Bryant and LeBron James Got Were These Lousy T-Shirts
TMZ on LeBron's "egotistical" shirt: "For the record—you won't see Kobe Bryant wearing a shirt with his individual accomplishments plastered on the front of it during his championship parade today." Wanna see what Kobe wore to the parade?...

How Do Iranian Soccer Players Protest? Very Carefully
Iran's soccer team may have found it difficult to concentrate on their World Cup qualifying match in South Korea today, since their country is, you know, engulfed in the cleansing flames of democratic awakening....

Mr. President, Meet The King
LeBron and a "group of close friends" visited Barack Obama in the White House Monday. I know The First Fan is busy saving the world, but doesn't he have aides to tell him the Lakers won the NBA title? [AP]...

The Great Kevin McHale Experiment Is Over In Minnesota
After 15 seasons running the Timberwolves, Kevin McHale's services will no longer be needed. (According only to Kevin Love's Twitter? Jeebus.) Man, just eight or nine more years and I think he would have had it. [Pioneer Press; SportsBank]...

With The 58th Pick, The Boston Celtics Might Select The Globe
The Red Sox and Bruins own NESN. The New York Times, at least for now, controls a minority stake of the Red Sox. And soon, the Celtics might join the incest between Boston teams and the outlets that cover them....

The Stupid Derrick Rose Controversy
So Derrick Rose once flashed gang signs in a smoky room. With his apology, it's now, officially, a "controversy," a term of art allowing media-types to avoid saying what the story's really about, which is essentially this: scary black people....

Jeter Listens To Critics, Dies In A Fire
Jeter, a five-year-old Great Pyrenees dog, saved his owners' life by alerting them to a fire (so clutch!), but then needlessly ran back into the burning home and perished. Well, his range always was an issue. [Dayton Daily News]...

Tony Parker Needs New Defensive Help
Like many rich people, Tony Parker's house is filled with valuable commodities. Or it was, until the security guard hired to protect said valuables decided to steal some and sell them on Craigslist instead....

Steve Nash Auditions For His Next Job
No one knows how many miles Steve Nash has left on his little Canadian legs, but if he's looking to break into the late-night TV comedy game, his first test for his second career went fairly well....

Tim Donaghy Has Not Been Enjoying Prison (UPDATED)
Disgraced referee Tim Donaghy will be released from prison next week and not a moment too soon. A press release says that while in the slammer he nearly had his legs broken by a New York mobster. (Update below.)...

Well, At Least He'll Be Able To Tell People He Was Coach Of The Year...
Mike Brown, the Cleveland Cavaliers dapper head coach, may have spent his last season with Lebron James. Again, blame this on Joe Posnanski. [ProBasketballNews]...

Stan Van Gundy A "Working-Class Hero," Says Newspaper For Rich People (UPDATE)
There is no worse fate for an NBA final than to be turned into a roundtable discussion on the brilliance of the coach. Someone please tell the Wall Street Journal: Stan Van Gundy is not the reason people are watching....

Free Fenway Tickets To The Person Who Loves America The Most
Do you want presumably good seats to a Red Sox game at Fenway? All you have to do is convince the son of a failed presidential candidate that you hate socialism—and maybe make a small donation!...

Dan Le Batard Vs. Bill Simmons, Coming To Your Neighborhood PTI
This week's Deadcast guest is Dan Le Batard, who brings news that Bill Simmons will be making his guest host debut on "Pardon The Interruption" sometime this summer. Get that Larry Bird head-on-a-stick ready....

Reebok Gives Shoe Contracts First, Asks Questions Later
Reebok belatedly discovers that they gave a shoe contract to a white guy with an "Air Jordan" tattoo on his leg. To be fair, it was Marcin Gortat, and no one wanted to look that closely. [Skeets]...

How Reggie Miller Is Spending His Summer Vacation
Reggie Miller's belly-button-circling tattoo is hideously ugly and misplaced, but maybe that's the point....