Locker Page 1304 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

EVERYTHING HE PUNDITS IS IMPORTANT
For the second time in just more than a week, Stephen A. Smith appeared on Chris Matthews' "Hardball" last night. It makes perfect sense, so much so that we wonder if Smith is employed by the wrong channel....

Fire Up That Celtics Hype Machine Again
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or partying with Corey Worthington, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....

Well, They've Really Got LeBron Now
The email hit our inbox with the equivalent of a Drudge Siren: LEBRON JAMES SPEEDING ARREST ... DASH CAM VIDEO! SEE VIDEO HERE! So we watched it....

LeBron Puts Pedal To The Metal
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or eating cereal, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....

Work For The Knicks, In The Worst Capacity Imaginable
You know what would be a great job? Being the guy who has to clean up all of Isiah Thomas' messes, and then try to explain them away to a growling, surly New York media. That's exactly what we told our mom we wanted to be when we grew up....

Glen Rice Is Concerned With His Estranged Wife's System For Utilizing Closet Space
We haven't caught up with former NBA All-Star Glen Rice for a while. What's he up to? Playin' some golf? Sellin' some cars? Well, no. He's walking into his estranged wife's home and finding a guy hiding in the closet. Uh-oh....

Ask Jeeves, The Butler Did It
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or shuffling around in his revolutionary sleeping bag, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....

The Utah Jazz Had More Fun On New Years Eve Than You Did
You might have seen these by now, but in case you haven't ... here's proof that the Utah Jazz are destined to have goofy parties whenever Andrei Kirilenko hosts them....

Shiny Happy Isiah Laughing
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or filing important documents, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....

Celtics Begin To Develop A Cellulite Problem
Know how supermodels stay thin? By being called fat at 110 pounds. It's the only way they'll learn. Judge them. Cut them down. You really want a thin slice of carrot cake? Because that dress you love doesn't come in fat cow size....

Knicks W-L Record Leaked To Dolan
It's come to this. James Dolan is so bored at Knicks games games, he's brought along Winkles the sockpuppet to entertain him. Of course, he could just replace Isiah Thomas with a more competent coach, but he clearly wouldn't do that now, after all they've been through. After giving him a $24 million...

51.8 Gigawatts!?
After a loss to the Atlanta Hawks, Udonis Haslem looked at a picture of his family and saw his siblings fading out of focus. He had no choice but to set things right and change the past. See, back on December 18 against the Atlanta Hawks, a last-minute foul that should have gone to Haslem instead wa...

Jermaine O'Neal Gets A Lesson In Business
As part of his side "jobs" in Indianapolis, Pacers center Jermaine O'Neal opened a Miami-esque, sleek, fancy club in Indianapolis called "Seven." (You can see its official Web site right here.) This week, the club closed. Looking at that Web site, and realizing it was in Indianapolis, it's not diffi...

Where Jackin' It Happens
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or wearing medallions, he can be heard— BANGING HIS GRANDMA IN THE BREAKFAST NOOK! Hi, I'm AJ Daulerio. The Balls. If you're wondering what's going on here, Skeets is off riding around w...

Divisional Playoff Cranium!
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....

Upset In Beantown
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or voting Benson '08, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....

The Finnish Love Scottie Pippen
His team is Helsinki ToPo, and with Pippen, the ToPos are 2-0. Pippen is averaging 10.5 pts and 8 boards in 26 minutes. But his game has changed a bit; he chucked up 16 3-pointers in those games, hitting only two. He shoots like MJ's kid now!...

The 'Fire Isiah' Movement, Now In Rap
Merciless boos in his home arena, eight-foot pink slips calling for his job, sexual harassment claims; Isiah Thomas has heard, seen and squeezed it all. And yet still he stands tall; an unwavering pillar of grinning cocksureness. Until now....

Political Experts Aren't Any Better Than Sports Experts
We stayed up late last night watching the election returns last night with far more vigor and intensity than we watched the BCS Championship Game on Monday night. Sure, we might have had more personally at stake in this one, but that's not the real reason we were so compelled. We were amazed because...

Nets Lose Despite Kidd's Triple-Double, 'Stache
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or time traveling, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....