Locker Page 1325 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Desmond Mason, Making The NOOCH Legend
We are, sadly, in the last days of NOOCH; next year, it'll be all New Orleans, all the time, and that means those halcyon days of yesteryear, when the gloriousness of the NOOCH was with us, are almost gone....

NBA Roundup: Ming Went The Strings Of Our Hearts
Notes on Monday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

Ron Artest Might Have Sneaked In Some Early-Morning Spousal Battery
You know, you think you know a guy ......

NBA Roundup: From Now On We Call It Nashville
Notes on Sunday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

Jerry Sloan Is Not The World's Friendliest Man
The newsworthiness of the "John Amaechi coming out" story has probably come and gone, so let's consider this a part of the new "Jerry Sloan calls his players 'fucking cunts'" story. Meech was a guest on Andrew Siciliano's radio show, and offered these tidbits about why he and his head coach didn't g...

The Back Of Ron Artest's Head Is A Canvas
With the NBA's trading deadline passed, Ron Artest finally felt it was safe to have his love for the Kings proclaimed boldly on the back of his head. He debuted the new look in last night's win over the Lakers....

NBA Roundup: Cowabunga, Dude!
Notes on Thursday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

Sorry: More On Livingston's Knee Injury
First off, in no way are we dismissing the severity of Shaun Livingston's devastating knee injury from Monday. We simply can't imagine going through that ... we got queasy watching Marcia Brady getting hit in the nose by the football. But that being said, there is no denying that Livingston's knee n...

Slightly Deep Inside The Brain Of Agent Zero
The best piece of writing we've ever read about Wizards space cadet Gilbert Arenas was the famous Wizznutzz psychological profile of Agent Zero, which includes this brilliant factoid: "Gil was at the birth of his daughter! It wasnt a tom cruise scientology "Silent birth" but Gil did put his Halo gam...

NBA Roundup: Upon Further Review, Cornbread Maxwell Is Sorry
Notes on Wednesday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

Mission Accomplished
So if we're understanding Shaq correctly, the past few NBA MVP awards have been tainted, but being lauded by the current Commander-In-Chief is juuuust fine. No taint there....

NBA Roundup: Solar Power
Notes from Tuesday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

Praise The Lord And Pass The Seasoned Buckshot
It's a dilemma that has plagued hunters for centuries: When stalking in the woods, how do I keep deer from seeing me pray? The answer: The camo bible, guaranteed to fool even the most devout grouse, squirrel or beaver, so that you may blast them to Kingdom Come; just as God intended. We recommend th...

We Hope You've Already Eaten This Morning
We're sorry about this, but we really do have to show you the video of Clippers guard Shaun Livingston's brutal knee injury last night. We're not sure what they're cleaning the floor with over there, but it's either rubber cement or battery acid. Imagine if someone would have actually been guarding ...

NBA Roundup: Blue Monday
Notes from Monday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

NBA Roundup: Love Shaq, He's Our Little Love Shaq
Notes from Sunday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

Excuse Me While I Kiss The Rim
That's what Michael Jordan helped to rob you of during the NBA's Slam Dunk contest. It's nice to see it on YouTube, but it would have been far nicer to see it in primetime on TNT, in place of Nate Robinson missing dunks for two straight minutes....

Shaq On Taint
After the Heat lost to Dallas on Thursday, a reporter engaged Shaq in conversation about Dirk Nowitzki's MVP candidacy. Shaq, sensing the opportunity to get some things off his chest, went off about how the award selection process and said that Steve Nash's last two MVP awards were "tainted."...

Tim Hardway Does Not Have A Hate Boner
Fascinating interview yesterday with the beautifully thighed Tim Hardaway and his "old pal" Scoop Jackson. Say what you will about Jackson, but this is one of those times when his friendliness with athletes works to his advantage; it's a wide-ranging, full-access interview that doesn't tip-toe aroun...

NBA Roundup: DJ Was Always A Cut Above
Notes on Thursday's games in the National Basketball Association ......