Locker Page 305 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
South Carolina Governor Desperately Wants To Find A Way To Fuck The National Anthem
If you’re in South Carolina on Super Bowl Sunday and you hear the national anthem start, stand up and yell every last word, or else the patriotism police will take you to the office of Governor Henry McMaster for a spanking. Today McMaster issued a proclamation, which means nothing, that everyone in...
Which Industry Has The Worst Jargon?<em></em>
Before we get into the Funbag, I’m gonna plug the DEADSPIN VERY LARGE ADULT GAME PARTY in Minnesota one more time. Feel like hanging out with us tomorrow night as we do some drankin’ and PODCAST RIFFIN’? Then join us here: ...
Tell Us How You Wash Your Face
Some people have “good” skin, some people have “bad” skin, some people just don’t give a shit about the visible condition of their skin. Personally, I have what I call “problem skin” and boy, do I like buying a bunch of random chemicals to try to beat it into submission....
Bumbling Package Thief Injures Leg, Is Rescued By Getaway Driver In Russell Wilson Jersey<em></em>
Stealing packages seems like a scummy, straightforward two-person operation: One briskly walks up to the house, while the other keeps the car running. This one on Friday quickly fell apart due to an unforeseen variable: wet grass....
Forcing Hawks Fans To Try And Guard Hot Sauce Is Very Cruel And Very Funny
It can’t be easy coming up with new in-arena gimmicks to entertain NBA fans during stoppages in play—there is only one Red Panda to go around, after all—so kudos to the Atlanta Hawks for a new recurring segment in which street ball legend and AND1 Mixtape star Philip “Hot Sauce” Champion embarrasses...
John Wall Broken, Wizards Dead, Universe Empty
Washington Wizards guard John Wall will miss six to eight weeks for a “procedure to clean up” his sore left knee, the one that has now been interfering with his career on a dismally regular basis since at least as far back as 2012. In related news [long anguished scream, tapering away to silence]....
Milwaukee Police Reviewing Officers' Arrest, Tasing Of Sterling Brown; Will Release Body Camera Footage
Milwaukee police announced on Monday that Bucks rookie Sterling Brown will not face any charges after being arrested for resisting arrest last week....
Deadspin Up All Night: Why Isn't Anybody Callin'?
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Later....
Oh Shit, The Clippers Traded Blake Griffin To Detroit
Blake Griffin will soon have a harder time getting guest appearances on Comedy Central shows, because according to Adrian Wojnarowski, the Clippers have traded Griffin to the Detroit Pistons in exchange for Tobias Harris, Avery Bradley, Boban Marjanovic, and a pair of picks....
A List Of People Accused Of Enabling Larry Nassar
Former USA Gymnastics and Michigan State doctor Larry Nassar was sentenced to 40 to 175 years in prison last week for 10 counts of first-degree criminal sexual conduct. Nassar was the only person sentenced, but dozens of other people have been accused of helping him perpetrate decades of child sexua...
Enes Kanter's Fucked-Up Lip
Enes Kanter fucked up his lip and this is what it looks like....
The Antarctic Expedition That Included Alex Honnold Sounds Frigid And Terrifying
Antarctica is mostly known as a snowy wasteland, an island at the bottom of the world with nothing but ice and the odd penguin here and there. While it is covered in a few kilometers of ice, there is a continent underneath it all, and a rather mountainous one at that. Where there are mountains, ther...
Report: Joakim Noah Fought With His Coach And Now The Knicks Want Him Gone
This bomb from Shams Charania was basically just a matter of turning subtext into text:...
Sixers-Thunder Is Suddenly A Great NBA Rivalry
I doubt anyone had Sixers-Thunder pegged to become one of the spicier NBA rivalries headed into this season, but here we are, two games into the beef, with Russell Westbrook and Joel Embiid reaching new levels of petty....
Deadspin Up All Night: An Intention
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Spring is...uhh...actually nowhere close. Shit....
Add Andre Roberson To The List Of Important NBA Players Lost To Season-Ending Injuries
Andre Roberson takes a lot of shit for being among the worst non-center shooters in the NBA, and for how that lack of shooting has, in the past, badly cramped the spacing for certain Oklahoma City Thunder lineups. Those inclined towards giving him shit will be relieved, then, to learn that he will b...
Isaiah Thomas Is Having A Bad Time
Adrian Wojnarowski reported last week that at least one Cavs player “challenged the legitimacy” of an illness that kept Kevin Love from sticking around through the end of a game last Saturday, and then kept him out of practice on Sunday. Eventually that anonymous player was identified as Isaiah Thom...
Steph Curry And Kyrie Irving Put On An Incredible Show
The Warriors narrowly edged the Celtics last night in Oakland, 109-105, in a game that was within a couple possessions most of the way. As if plucked directly from the hopes and wishes of fans sick to death of this stretch of NBA basketball being defined by injuries and conflict, the game Saturday n...