Locker Page 806 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bengals Fan Is Having A Wonderful Time
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Tim Duncan Has All Of The Sads
It's been a rough night in Houston for the San Antonio Spurs, as the reigning NBA champions found themselves down big early and never had a chance to come back. Tim Duncan's stuck on the bench with a mandated night off, and it's clear he's not happy with what the Spurs scrubs are putting together....
Andy Dalton Has No Use For Your Football "Rules"
You'll have to forgive Andy, it's his first day in Pop Warner and he's not quite clear on how to play football yet....
Deadspin Up All Night: Up Again Early
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My Third-Grader, The Politician
Election Day, always a big event in D.C., was a whole lot bigger than normal here this year, if only in the McKenna household. Neither control of the U.S. Senate nor the fate of Obamacare factored into its bigness. Nah. This was all about Eddie running for office....
The Fuck Is Wrong With LeBron? Some Theories
Holy shit, the Cavaliers are 1-3! ONE AND THREE! OH MY GOD, CLEVELAND IS CLEVELANDING ALL OVER ITSELF AGAIN! Now, listen: I know that newly assembled teams like this need time to gel, and that the NBA regular season is fucking stupid, and that the Heat struggled in a similar fashion at first with...
Does Banana Bread Belong In Your Beer?
Bananas are pretty good. I'm not sure if Deadspin has ever issued a ranking of the fruits (editor's note: duh), but they probably have, and it was probably wrong, because everyone always underestimates kiwis and pretends to be too cool for apples. But if I were ever consulted on such a project, I'd ...
Adrian Peterson And Ray Rice Should Be Reinstated Now
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Report: LeBron And Kyrie Irving Exchanged Words After Loss
The Cavaliers are off to sluggish start, sitting at 1-3 after dropping last night's game to Gordon Hayward and the Jazz. They lost Tuesday's game agains the Blazers by 19 points, and ESPN's Brian Windhorst is reporting that Kyrie Irving and LeBron James got into a "healthy" discussion after that gam...
<em>El Mariachi</em> Is A Feast Of Bloody Micro-Budget Silliness
There's a moment early in El Mariachi, the micro-budget 1992 movie that introduced Robert Rodriguez to the world, where our hero, an unnamed wandering musician, asks a bartender if he can work there, singing for tips. The asshole bartender laughs in his face and says that he'd never pay one guy ...
Violence Is Currency: A Pacifist Ex-Con's Guide To Prison Weaponry
The most common weapon inside is simply a can top. Pulled off a tin of beans and folded over, it doesn't even need to be sharpened to leave a jagged scar. A shank, also known as a shiv, is not for cutting but for stabbing. It's called a "gun" in jailhouse vernacular, and the most valuable kind i...
Yuengling Black And Tan Doesn't Suck
Thanksgiving is the best holiday, and second place isn't close. I deeply regret that I spent several obnoxious years pretending that Thanksgiving is overrated. That's preposterous, for it is impossible to be too enthusiastic about a midweek vacation day devoted entirely to sloth and excess....
Derrick Rose Hurt Both Of His Ankles Again
Derrick Rose returned to the Bulls' starting lineup last night after missing the two previous games. He missed those games because he managed to sprain both of his ankles during a game last Friday. Rose played 31 minutes against the Bucks, which is great, but he also managed to re-aggravate both of ...
Brett Favre Was The Third Choice For <em>There's Something About Mary</em>
Brett Favre's memorable cameo in There's Something About Mary wouldn't have happened if the Farrelly Brothers had gotten their way (and if Drew Bledsoe hadn't injured a woman stage-diving at an Everclear concert)....
Don't Worry, DeMarcus Cousins, Omri Casspi Has Your Back
A good friend always makes sure his buddy's headband situation is tight. Here, allow Omri Casspi to demonstrate:...
Gordon Hayward Locks Up LeBron, Nails Game Winner
Things aren't getting any better for LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers. A night after James failed to score in the second half of a blowout loss against the Trail Blazers, they were undone in Utah by this Gordon Hayward game winner. James was guarding Hayward initially, but was felled by a De...
Don't Threaten Me, Fox Sports Florida
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Deadspin Up All Night: Go
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