Locker Page 839 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Giant Crab-Topped Pretzel Is A Tasty-Looking Horror
From the DC Sports Bog comes word that the University of Maryland will begin selling a 1.5-pound crab-and-cheese-bedecked soft pretzel called "the Chessie" (short for "Chesapeake," presumably) during the upcoming football season. That is to say, the pretzel alone weighs 24 ounces. Presumably t...

Gene Hackman Does Rambo: The Emo Machismo Of <em>Uncommon Valor</em>
Gene Hackman made a Rambo movie, and only a year after the original. Maybe it's best to think of 1983's Uncommon Valor as the missing link between The Deer Hunter and the first Rambo sequel, two extremely fucking different takes on the idea that there are still prisoners of war in Vietnam, and we ne...

Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Minnesota Vikings
Some people are fans of the Minnesota Vikings. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Minnesota Vikings. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Founders All Day: Because Session IPAs Are Perfect For Football Season
Do you ever deal with Journalist Twitter? It is possibly the very most self-important subgenre of social media, though Aggrieved-Teacher Facebook gives it a run for its money. (Not that they're in it for the money, which we believed the first 50,000 times they mentioned it this morning, which they...

Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Detroit Lions
Some people are fans of the Detroit Lions. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Detroit Lions. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

The Best And Worst 2014 Summer Movies: A Grierson And Leitch Report
If you ask the bean-counters, this was a disappointing summer: Almost every major sequel underperformed (Transformers: Age of Extinction, The Expendables 3, and The Amazing Spider-Man 2 were all the lowest-grossing entries in their respective series), and there were some truly ugly flops, most n...

Deadspin Up All Night: Thought I Was Mistaken
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Be good....

Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Green Bay Packers
Some people are fans of the Green Bay Packers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Green Bay Packers. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

New NBA Rules Will Clear Out The Baselines
In a memo sent to teams and obtained by the Associated Press, the NBA has unveiled two new rules concerning space around the basket stanchion and along the baselines that are intended to make things safer for players. But the association claims the changes were in the works long before Paul George's...

The Two Worst Icons In Gmail
Gmail is good. I like Gmail. But I fuck up and archive an email by mistake at least once a day, because for whatever reason, some loaded diaper in Mountain View decided to use the same icon, twice, for EXACTLY OPPOSITE FUNCTIONS. ...

Burger King, And <em>Only</em> Burger King, Wants To Be Canadian
Burger King Worldwide Inc., a chain of over 13,000 sad, ignored, tumbleweed-strewn burger graveyards in 79 countries around the world, has agreed to fork over around $11 billion to purchase Canadian donuts-and-breakfast chain Tim Hortons Inc., giving the new combined company ownership of exactly...

Boulevard Tank 7 Farmhouse Ale: Because Summer Ain't Over Yet
Seriously, look it up. Summer goes until late September these days, thanks to climate change or the revolution of the earth around the sun or some shit—vaccines, maybe, I dunno, I'm not a weather doctor, but I did get a calendar for Valentine's Day. ...

Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Chicago Bears
Some people are fans of the Chicago Bears. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Chicago Bears. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Hustler's Handbook
Here's Pat Jordan's 1971 Sports Illustrated pool room story, "A Clutch of Odd Birds." It's the kind of piece you don't see much these days and worth a read. ...

Stay Home: Four Great New Indie Movies, Available On Demand
As we've mentioned in the past, Labor Day weekend is one of the worst on the Hollywood calendar. It's when studios dump their duds, knowing full well that everyone is too busy doing one last barbecue before summer ends. So rather than suffering through The November Man or As Above, So Below, w...

The Day They Played Baseball And No One Came
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Deadspin Up All Night: Freedom's Always On The Run
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Please enjoy what is almost certainly the best insurrectionist anthem ever written about getting in trouble for shooting pigeons with an air rifle....

This Is The Only Kobe Bryant Quote
Sports Illustrated's Kobe Bryant story was great; any time Bryant gets going, he's eminently quotable. (Highlights here.) Now Chris Ballard shares some outtakes from the week he spent shadowing Bryant. It includes this anecdote:...

Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Baltimore Ravens
Some people are fans of the Baltimore Ravens. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Baltimore Ravens. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

Restaurant Removes Bacon Sign, Ignites Culture War
This is it, folks. This just might be it. Your love of bacon will bring you to ruin, our ancestors said, but did we listen? Did we heed? No we did not. And now: Here we are, careening bacon-scented over the precipice of disaster. "My grandfather was alive in 2014," they will say, huddled fu...