In news that will come as no sort of shock to anyone whose admiration of the Ball family does not rise to the level of actual cartoon swirly eyes, the wildly expensive ZO2 shoes that were the foundation of the failed Big Baller Brand apparel line were apparently utter piles of shit, totally unsuited to the job of holding up for more than a few minutes of intense basketball action.
Lonzo Ball, who first indicated his departure from his family’s company by covering up a BBB tattoo with just the ugliest damn pair of My First Graffiti-looking dice you have ever seen, revealed the shabbiness of his signature ZO2s on an appearance on teammate Josh Hart’s podcast, aired Wednesday. Despite being designed for his feet, and despite costing more at retail than virtually all other basketball shoes, Lonzo says his ZO2s were so flimsy that they would tear apart after just one quarter of play, requiring that he bring at least four pairs to every game:
Lonzo says the exploding ZO2s help explain why his play was uneven and inconsistent during the part of his career where he was wearing them, which leaves open the question of why his play has been uneven and inconsistent during all the other parts of his career. Still, it’s not hard to imagine that dissolving sneakers, worn exclusively to pump up his dad’s dipshit company, were not helpful for his development as an NBA player. But, hey, at least he didn’t have to pay retail.
It’s wrong to delight in the abysmal decision-making of others. It’s wrong and mean to actively root against people who are in thrall to this or that brand, even though it is objectively and absolutely true that brands are bad and people who practice loyalty to brands are, at the very least, huge suckers. For your own health, I advise you to resist the urge to do a little touchdown dance at the expense of the many huge suckers who swore fealty to Lavar Ball’s half-assed apparel company and lined up at pop-up retailers to drop $495 on a pair of BBB shoes. Surely they have suffered enough already!