Man In "No, Seriously, I Have Drugs" Shirt Charged With Drug Possession
Florida man John Balmer was arrested at a Kmart and charged with possession of meth; it appears Pasco County police might have been tipped off by the 50-year-old's shirt.
The Tampa Bay Times obtained the arrest report. Balmer was in line at Kmart when an officer walked into the store. Balmer then allegedly tried to dump the drugs he had on him. From the article:
Balmer saw the deputy and tried to hand a "bag of green leafy substance" to the person behind him, according to officers. That person declined to take the bag.
Balmer then allegedly walked to the cash register, put the baggy on the ground and paid for his items. Another deputy approached. Store workers told him about the baggy.
Deputies discovered it held marijuana and methamphetamine.
Deputies also discovered that he was wearing a shirt that read, "WHO NEEDS DRUGS? No, seriously, I have drugs." He was also apparently arrested in front of the Big Claw machines, to confer even more dignity onto the situation. You may need to find another hookup.
Photo via Facebook
Why MLB Should Keep Human Umpires in the ABS Era
2026 MLB MVP Picks: Best Long-Shot Bets in the AL and NL
- 2026 MLB MVP Picks: Best Long-Shot Bets in the AL and NL
- NBA Picks Tuesday: Knicks, Spurs, and Lakers Betting Preview
- Tuesday March 3 Top College Basketball Betting Picks and Predictions
- MLB Cy Young 2026: Long-Shot Picks to Bet on This Season
- Why Texas Tech Could Be a Sneaky Final Four Bet Without JT Toppin
- NBA Picks Tonight: Clippers vs. Warriors, Celtics vs. Bucks, Nuggets vs. Jazz Predictions
- Best 2026 MLB Futures Bets for the NL West

