Man In "No, Seriously, I Have Drugs" Shirt Charged With Drug Possession
Florida man John Balmer was arrested at a Kmart and charged with possession of meth; it appears Pasco County police might have been tipped off by the 50-year-old's shirt.
The Tampa Bay Times obtained the arrest report. Balmer was in line at Kmart when an officer walked into the store. Balmer then allegedly tried to dump the drugs he had on him. From the article:
Balmer saw the deputy and tried to hand a "bag of green leafy substance" to the person behind him, according to officers. That person declined to take the bag.
Balmer then allegedly walked to the cash register, put the baggy on the ground and paid for his items. Another deputy approached. Store workers told him about the baggy.
Deputies discovered it held marijuana and methamphetamine.
Deputies also discovered that he was wearing a shirt that read, "WHO NEEDS DRUGS? No, seriously, I have drugs." He was also apparently arrested in front of the Big Claw machines, to confer even more dignity onto the situation. You may need to find another hookup.
Photo via Facebook
Why the WNBA Won't Monetize Sophie Cunningham's Viral Point
What Prediction Markets Are Telling Us About NFL 2026 MVP
The Sacramento Kings Need to Blow It Up Before It's Too Late
Ben Askren Didn't Win the Match—But He Won the Weekend
- UFC Fight Night Best Betting Picks for Du Plessis vs. Usman in OKC
- France vs. England Best Bets: Three Picks for the World Cup Third-Place Match
- Dodgers vs. Yankees Friday July 17 Best Betting Picks and Props
- July 17 White Sox vs. Blue Jays Prediction, Odds and Best Bets
- Three MLB Futures Bets to Make After the All-Star Break
- Three Heisman Trophy Sleepers Worth Betting Before the 2026 Season
- England vs. Argentina Best Bets: Three Picks for the World Cup Semifinal
