Michael Bradley Might As Well Retire After Zlatan Ibrahimović Ethered Him

Zlatan Ibrahimović scored what might have been the greatest goal of his life last Saturday in the L.A. Galaxy’s game against Toronto FC. Somehow, that goal—the 500th of his career—might not have been the most ruthless thing he did that day.

If you haven’t seen Zlatan’s mind-blowing goal, remedy that now:

A less spectacular but much funnier moment happened near the end of the match, when Zlatan and Michael Bradley got into a spirited jawing match:

Ibra has  demonstrated just how little respect he has for his lessers many times before, and from his body language in this latest example, he was just as disdainful of Bradley. After the match, reporters asked Zlatan about the dust-up. His response was so caustically insulting that if I were Michael Bradley I would’ve hung up my boots and gone into hiding so as to avoid the shame of being barred up so cruelly. From Sportsnet:

“He thinks he’s a philosopher of football. I have more goals than he has [played] games, so he should follow my rules,” Ibrahimovic said.

Technically, Zlatan’s boast isn’t exactly accurate. As mentioned before, Ibrahimović’s goal against Bradley’s boys was the 500th of his senior career between club and country. Although Bradley has only played 422 competitive matches at club level, for a fair comparison you’d have to toss in his 140 international caps, which puts him at 562.

But that doesn’t matter. Strictly true or not, Zlatan’s statement was devastating and landed like a flush haymaker anyway. Apologies to Bradley, but his soul is burning.