The Los Angeles Lakers held a press conference today to introduce new players Roy Hibbert, Lou Williams, and Brandon Bass. It was boring, up until the point one reporter asked the trio if they’d heard from Kobe Bryant yet.

For those of you who can’t listen at work, here’s a transcription:

REPORTER: Have any of you guys heard from Kobe, and if so, what did he say?

HIBBERT, WILLIAMS, AND BASS: ....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... [nervous rustling] ...............................................................................

..................................................................................................... [the sun sets] ................................

......................................................................................................................................................................................................... [a wolf howls at the moon] ................................................................

.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. [an old man, dying and alone, draws his last, raspy breath] ........................................

.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... [the ocean rises, swallowing the greater Los Angeles area] .

.......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... [the sun collapses in on itself; humanity is blinked out of existence] .............................

Video via Lakers Nation