Sports News Without Access, Favor, Or Discretion
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• Honestly, what more can you say about Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson? This will almost certainly be a poll later this week, but his "putt the football with the pilon followed by a Tiger Woods fist pump" was, once again, completely inspired. (All it was missing was an awkward high five.) If the Bengals make the playoffs — and it's certainly looking pretty likely now — Johnson's prime-time national television celebration, we are convinced, will somehow be an interpretive statement about the war in Iraq.
• We haven't looked at the New York newspapers yet — we're still out of town for the holidays — but we're fairly convinced there will be some sort of riff on Jay Feely's name on the front pages today. We're going with "Feely As A Bird" or "Blue Jay."
• Speaking of Feely, the Chicago Bears were one Feely kick away from being the No. 1 seed in the NFC. And it's just like a few years ago: Not a single person thinks they have a chance of making the Super Bowl. At least they won't be playing in Champaign next year.
• It's always fun when a team and its fans pack up the season. The Redskins pretty much perfected this technique yesterday.
• Because of Thanksgiving, by the way, Clinton Portis had no costume this week. It is obvious this is the reason for the crushing defeat.
• Hey, the Jets played the Saints last night.
• We've been in Cincinnati for the holidays all week, and there is Bengals garb everywhere we look. (Few things are more amusing than an eight-year old in an oversized T.J. Houshmandzadeh jersey. The opposing "H"'s end up looking like socks.) This makes us extremely happy, because when the Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals eventually break through — which the Bengals' resurgence gives us hope can someday happen — we know that fans will come out of the woodwork. We'll wait for you.
Michael Irvin. Michael. Irvin.


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