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So if you're like us and you spend your weekends doing everything you can to avoid the computer, you might not know about this yet. So we feel like maybe you should sit down. Take a deep breath. You might not be ready.

So remember how Hall of Fame commenter Jimbo went by the courthouse for masturbating lonely mustached man Mike Cooper's sentencing? He did good work, but the real finale of this sordid tale was yet to come. Because, as MJD told you Saturday, Carl Monday was indeed there, and he caused one last ruckus. And oh boy, it was a ruckus.


If you haven't seen it yet, the video is right here, and it honestly rivals the first video in pure lunacy. We really can't describe it: You just have to see it. It's not on YouTube yet — can anybody make that happen? — but heavens, you can't really prepare yourself.

Library Porn Viewer Sentenced [WKYC]

(By the way, there's a movement afoot among Deadspin commenters — codenamed "Operation Monday Night Moustache" — to somehow make Carl Monday pay for what is now just cruel warfare. We can't officially endorse such an endeavor ... but we do encourage everyone to look into it.)