Pennsylvania's Lehigh Valley: Where Wife-Punching Pitchers Go To Die

Phillies opening day starter Brett Myers, has thrown his last high fastball up in the zone at the major league level for a little while. The Phillies, fed up with his putridity, have decided to send Myers down to the minors, in a last ditch effort to salvage his once formidable arm.

Seeing no other option, Phillies general manager Pat Gillick told the Allentown Morning Call that Brett's just a real "shitty, shitty pitcher" right now. Okay, this is really what he said:

“We just felt it was the best situation for Brett,” general manager Pat Gillick said. “This way he can continue being a starting pitcher. How many starts he will make there is something we’ll monitor.”

Sounds promising. As of now, the Phillies haven't stated who'll replace Brett in the rotation, but here's hoping that Mitchell & Ness get cracking on that Lehigh Valley IronPigs "Myers" jersey right away. Those things would fly off the shelves.

Brett Myers Optioned To The Minors [The 700 Level] Brett Myers optioned to Iron Pigs [Allentown Morning Call]