Soccer Page 213 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sweet Baby Jesus, Cristiano Ronaldo Really Will Leave Real Madrid For Juventus
What at first felt like the same sort of hyped-up salary negotiation process between Real Madrid and Cristiano Ronaldo we see almost every summer has just gotten real as hell. Real Madrid have now confirmed that, at Ronaldo’s request, they have agreed to transfer him to Juventus....
Divers Save Final Boys From Thai Caves, Completing Weeklong Rescue Mission
Some good news: The final boy trapped in a water-filled cave in northern Thailand was rescued along with his youth soccer team coach on Tuesday....
Fox's John Strong Is America's Voice For An America-Free World Cup
John Strong was eating at Jake’s Famous Crawfish, a Portland, Oregon institution since 1892, when Portland Timbers President of Business Mike Golub offered him his dream job. Strong, who was 25 years old at the time, jumped at the chance to become the voice of his hometown soccer team as it moved up...
Gather Your Mates And Have A Laugh At England's "It's Coming Home" World Cup Meme
England are in the World Cup semifinals, and all the lads know one thing to be true: It’s coming home....
What The Hell, Ball, Just Go Into The Damn Net Already
The chyron above the action would have you believe that this clip is from a USL match between North Carolina FC and the Charleston Battery, but if you can watch it and see anything other than a soccer-themed pinball machine, then your eyes work differently than mine:...
Now These World Cup Teams Are Frauds, In My Opinion
This deep into the World Cup, there are very few frauds left. But FraudWatch never sleeps....
Luis Enrique Is Spain's New Manager, So It's Time To Stop Getting His Name Wrong
Today, not long after their ignominious World Cup exit and the ignominious decision to fire their manager just days before the tournament kicked off, Spain have hired a new coach for the national team. Do you know his name? Lots of people who should know apparently don’t....
Croatia Eliminate Russia In Penalty Shootout To Advance To World Cup Semifinal
A wildly entertaining quarterfinal match between Russia and Croatia produced the only just and acceptable result: Croatia advancing in dramatic fashion, and the world being spared a Russia-England semifinal matchup of pure awfulness. ...
Terrible News: England Defeat Sweden To Advance To World Cup Semifinal
In a truly unfortunate turn of events, England’s World Cup run can no longer go down as anything other than a tremendous success after the terrible lads triumphed over Sweden Saturday, 2-0. We are left to take inadequate consolation from the fact that under no circumstances can both England and Russ...
Belgium And Brazil Just Put On The Best Show Of The World Cup
My god, what did we just watch. The game of the tournament, certainly, and probably one of the best matches in recent World Cup history. All I know for sure is that Belgium beat Brazil today, 2-1, in a quarterfinal that had all the intensity, insanity, momentum-swings, and amazing plays that make fo...
Uruguay Keeper's Huge Boner Hands France Commanding 2-0 Lead
It’s been the tale of two keepers so far in this Uruguay-France World Cup quarterfinal. France are currently up 2-0, thanks in large part to this terrible bit of goalkeeping on the otherwise excellent Fernando Muslera’s part:...
Now These World Cup Teams Are Frauds, In My Opinion
It’s a World Cup off day, and it sucks! Let’s get through it together with some frauds. And remember, FraudWatch is never wrong; sometimes it’s merely premature....
Neymar's Theatrical Diving Is Already Corrupting The Youth
Following his team’s elimination from the World Cup at the hands of Brazil, Mexico manager Juan Carlos Osorio was worried about how Neymar’s histrionics might corrupt the next generation. Those fears were well-founded, it turns out, as this clip from a Swiss club’s youth soccer training session prov...
Éric Abidal Denies Claim That Barcelona Bought Him A Black-Market Liver
Former Barcelona defender Éric Abidal has denied that his old club president bought him an illegal liver for a transplant he had in 2012, after a report from the Spanish paper El Confidencial cited recorded conversations submitted in court implying that this was the case....
England Miraculously Avoid Pulling An England By Beating Colombia In Penalty Shootout
Coming into the knockout rounds, everything was lined up perfectly for England to make their deepest World Cup run in generations. Naturally, this set a countervailing force in motion, one that would see England do what they always do and choke in hilariously heartbreaking fashion. During today’s En...
Sweden Edge Switzerland In Contest Of Who Sucks Less At Kicking The Ball
Sweden and Switzerland combined to sully what has been an amazingly entertaining World Cup with a total borefest today that did little more than solidify how, without expertise at the apparently arcane art of kicking the ball good, soccer can sort of suck. Sweden won by a score of 1-0. Too bad both ...
Mexico Boss Extremely Pissed About Example Neymar Sets For The Children<em></em><em></em><em></em>
If you tuned in to the earlier, less exciting World Cup game today, you might think you saw Brazil ride a fierce second half performance to a well-deserved 2-0 defeat of Mexico. But if you listen to Juan Carlos Osorio, the currently very upset manager of El Tri, what you witnessed was “an embarrass...
Romelu Lukaku Is A Genius
More than any other soccer skill, positional awareness comes with the widest gulf between how important it is to a team’s success and how readily noticeable it is to the casual fan watching at home. This is partly due to the limitations of broadcast camera angles, and partly due to the fact that sma...
Most Thrilling Half Of The World Cup Ends With Belgium Sticking A Dagger In Japan's Heart
After an uneventful first 45 minutes, Belgium and Japan put together the best half of soccer in what has already been an extremely entertaining World Cup. Belgium generated more dangerous chances and generally looked like the better team throughout the first half, but it was a cagey affair and it se...
Thai Youth Soccer Team Found Alive After Being Lost In A Cave For Nine Days
After a complicated days-long rescue mission, divers on Monday found 12 boys from a Thai soccer team and their coach. The group had been trapped in a cave in Northern Thailand for nine days....