Soccer Page 213 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cardiff City's Neil Warnock Had An Intense Staredown With Match Officials After They Cost His Team Vital Points
Cardiff City manager Neil Warnock was understandably furious after his relegation-threatened squad lost 2-1 to Chelsea on Saturday when Ruben Loftus-Cheek scored a heartbreaking late goal in the 91st minute. Once the referee signaled that the match was over with a whistle, Warnock left the technical...

Liverpool Beats Tottenham On Clusterfuck Own Goal
Liverpool got a humongous two points in the title race on Sunday when what looked like a 1-1 draw with Tottenham suddenly turned into a 2-1 win off a late own goal from Spurs defender Toby Alderweireld....

AC Milan Loses Due To Horrendous Goalkeeping Boner 30 Seconds Into The Match
There are goalkeeper errors, and then there are goalkeeper boners, and AC Milan’s star wonderkid between the sticks found out the difference on Saturday. 20-year-old goalie Gianluigi Donnarumma gifted Sampdoria a goal in the first minute by nonchalantly kicking the ball directly at opposing striker ...

Lionel Messi Slows Down Time, Scores Free Kick
It looks so damn easy to stop, this latest entry into Lionel Messi’s lightyear-long highlight reel. The free kick from just outside the box hangs in the air for an eternity, seemingly giving the goalie, or a defender, or a fan sitting at the top of the upper deck ample time to track the ball, move t...

Fulham Are Completely Useless
There’s no shame in losing to Manchester City, particularly if you’re a relegation side, but Fulham deserve to be heavily scrutinized for their performance on Saturday, losing 2-0 at home to the Premier League leaders. Honestly, it was so much worse than 2-0 implies; City got started with a fifth-mi...

Local Idiots Wreck Minnesota Soccer Field By Doing A Bunch Of Donuts On It<em></em>
Police in Hastings, Minnesota have identified two men they suspect of driving onto the Veterans Athletic Complex and doing a ludicrous amount of donuts, damaging over 200,000 square feet of soccer fields in the process, according to ABC 5 Eyewitness News. The two men, who have not been publicly name...

Now Ole Gunnar Solskjær Has A Chance To Prove He's The Real Deal
I’d bet there isn’t a person with decision-making power at Manchester United who saw this coming, other than maybe Ole Gunnar Solskjær himself. But here we are, with United rewarding Solskjær for his complete turnaround of what looked like a lost season by officially making him the club’s permanent ...

Even American Soccer Fandom Is Plagued By Pay-To-Play
If you had to point out a single factor that most contributes to the U.S.’s stunted development as a soccer nation, you could make a good case for pay-to-play as the culprit. Pay-to-play is the system that sections off the best youth coaching and competition and reserves it only for those who can af...

What Is Lionel Messi Worth To Argentina?
There is a simple, financial answer to the question posed in the headline of this article: Lionel Messi is reportedly worth €450,000 per contractually-arranged international friendly. That is how much the Argentinian Football Federation (AFA) lost out on after Messi’s recent groin injury kept him ou...

Saudi Arabian Keeper Trolls Fans With The Worm, Gets Pelted With Bottles And A Shoe
Last-place Saudi Pro League club Ohod will probably get relegated from the first division at the end of the season, so the draw they squeaked out on Saturday against Saudi giants and title favorites Al-Hilal probably won’t affect their ultimate fate much. However, that doesn’t mean that snatching tw...

UCLA Soccer Coach Resigns After Getting Caught In College Admissions Bribery Scandal
Several of the coaches and administrators who were swept up in the college admissions bribery scam had long left the posts where they did their dirty work. Others, like UCLA men’s soccer coach Jorge Salcedo, were still employed by the same schools right up until the very day the FBI blew up their sp...

Inept Soccer Team Takes Fifty-Four (54) Shots And Scores Zero (0) Goals
Bolivian club Nacional Potosí hosted Venezuelan club Zulia last night in a Copa Sudamericana match, South America’s equivalent to the Europa League. Nacional had 79 percent possession of the ball and popped off a staggering 54 shots. Zulia took just six shots all night and completed just 47 percent ...

Bolton Wanderers Have Two Weeks To Stave Off Financial Ruin
Bolton Wanderers were one of the founding members of the world’s first soccer league. They won the first match held in Wembley Stadium. And now they might go into administration, effectively bankrupting the club and taking them out of England’s second division, the Championship, and into a murky fin...

Tottenham's Long Stadium Nightmare Is (Almost) Over
At long last, Tottenham Hotspur have a home. After years-long saga to get their new stadium ready for actual soccer, Spurs’ new grounds will be ready in time for an April 3 Premier League match-up against Crystal Palace, according to a statement put out by the club on Sunday:...

Dickhead Soccer Fans Wrench Player's Jersey From The Hands Of Sobbing Little Boy
A soccer-loving Brazilian tyke learned first-hand the true, asshole-y nature of the sport’s grown fans this weekend when, at the conclusion of a match between Atlético Mineiro and América, the boy was delighted to find himself in possession of Atlético youngster Alerrandro’s game-worn jersey only to...

Cristiano Ronaldo Is In Trouble For His Thrusting Testicular Celebration<em></em>
UEFA announced on Monday that it has opened disciplinary proceedings against Cristiano Ronaldo, following the Juventus striker’s phallic celebration of his tie-clinching goal against Atlético Madrid in the round of 16 of the Champions League last week. ...

Lionel Messi's Hat Trick Inspired Opposing Supporters To Give Him A Standing Ovation
Lionel Messi doesn’t have to keep showing his greatness to us mere mortals, but he does so anyway out of the kindness of his heart. His latest act of generosity came against Real Betis where he scored an incredible hat trick in a 4-1 victory for his 477th win in a Barcelona shirt—a new club record....
![Here Is The Champions League Quarterfinals Draw [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/mfkeutccfhdcgymitn32.jpg)
Here Is The Champions League Quarterfinals Draw [UPDATE]
The Champions League draw for the quarterfinals took place on Friday from Nyon, Switzerland, and, after a pleasingly brisk presentation, we now know what the next round of European soccer will look like, as well as the paths to the June 1 final....

Liverpool Will Go As Far As Sadio Mané Takes Them<em></em>
Faced with a most unenviable task—walking into Bayern Munich’s home stadium and needing to come away with a win or, at the very least, a scoring draw—Liverpool turned to their streaky African forward, who drove them to a commanding 3-1 victory and into the quarterfinals of the Champions League. No, ...

Cristiano Ronaldo And Juventus Got Exactly What They Were Looking For<em></em>
Cristiano Ronaldo’s decision to leave Real Madrid last summer was a bet on himself. It was a bet that for as unstoppable a force of nature he’d become, as perfectly complementary a supporting cast he’d found, and as much fame and adulation and trophies and awards he’d won at the most famous and succ...