Soccer Page 269 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Borussia Dortmund Go Down Three Goals, Shrug, Score Four, Win
Once-great, now-good lunchpail German side Borussia Dortmund opened up their Europa League campaign away to some team from Norway aptly named Odds BK. August NIT games don’t impress us much, especially against teams from Norway, but Odds came out and scored 13 seconds into the dang match!...
Costa Rica Manager Resigns After Brawling With Security Guard At Match
As expected, Costa Rica national team manager Paulo Wanchope resigned today, one day after he got into a videotaped brawl with a security guard at an Olympic qualifier. According to the Tico Times, Wanchope remorsefully said “We’re all human and sometimes we can lose our senses, and yesterday I lost...
Costa Rica Coach Paulo Wanchope Exchanges Blows With Man At U-23 Match
Costa Rica and Panama’s U-23 teams met in Panama City Tuesday night as part of qualifying for the 2016 Olympics in Rio. The match ended in a scoreless draw, and the real fireworks came after the final whistle blew. As recorded by Panamanian journalist Jhony Mosquera, that’s Costa Rican head coach Pa...
Dutch Goalie Scores Insane Backheel Stoppage Time Equalizer
One of the most fun little moments in a soccer match is a corner kick or free kick with the game almost over, and the attacking team either tied or down a goal. Their towering goalkeeper comes jogging up the field to join the fray, and the ball is pumped into the middle of literally 20 players where...
West Ham Fan Keeps Word, Gets Ass Tattoo To Commemorate Win Over Arsenal
Arsenal, this year’s sexy pick to Do Some Things in England’s Premier League this year, kicked off their campaign yesterday at home against West Ham. What follows is a story in two tweets:...
Soccer Player's Butt Healed By Magic Spray
“Become a soccer physio,” they said. “It’s an easy job,” they said. “You’ll never have to coat a player’s ass in cold spray in a stadium full of people,” they said....
Sports Are More Fun When People Are In Pain
What an incredible sport. ...
Leicester City Player Calls Man "Jap" At Casino, Apologizes
Leicester City are at it again. Striker Jamie Vardy was caught on camera at a Leicester casino On July 26th repeatedly calling a man “jap” because he thought he was looking over his shoulder at his cards. He has since apologized for the incident, but the club are investigating. Vardy started and sco...
League One Team Accidentally Scores, Allows Opponent To Score On Them
That’s the manager of Doncaster Rovers explaining why his team intentionally allowed a player from the opposing team to dribble down the field and score. ...
Jose Mourinho Is In Midseason Form As Chelsea Barely Survive Swansea
Chelsea opened their Premier League title defense today with a topsy turvy 2-2 draw against Swansea City. As you can see, Jose Mourinho ain’t too happy about it. Our staff of amateur lip readers concurs that he’s dropping a “Fuck off Michael!”—directed towards referee Michael Oliver—but you could ma...
The Best Of The Best: Our 2015-16 Premier League Preview, Pt. 3
You’ve made it to the third and final installment of our Premier League preview, and what lies below is a rundown of what we at Deadspin consider the six (6) least bad teams in all of England’s top flight. This thirdish of the league is important because this is where teams are fighting for all-impo...
The Uncomfortable Middle: Our 2015-16 Premier League Preview, Pt. 2
For the American sports fan, following soccer means a reorientation about what constitutes success. With the success of the top teams reinforced by Champions League appearances and an enhanced global profile, there is a virtuous cycle to being good that makes it even harder to break into the top. At...
Fans Throw Burger At Goalkeeper, Who Eats It
Fans of Argentine side Racing tossed a hamburger at Belgrano keeper Juan Olave during yesterday’s scoreless draw. Olave didn’t get mad; he got sated....
The Mexican Football Federation fired coach Miguel Herrera Tuesday, one day after he reportedly punched TV Azteca journalist Christian Martinoli in the neck at the Philadelphia airport. Mexico’s next competitive match, a playoff against the United States for a berth in the Confederations Cup, is Oct...
Vladimir Putin Says His Homeboy Sepp Blatter Deserves A Nobel Prize
Since FIFA president Sepp Blatter won his first election in 1998, he has (allegedly! [lol]) both bribed and received bribes in order to stay in power and award desperate countries international tournaments. Along the way, he has actually and truly ravaged local economies by siphoning public money fo...
CONCACAF Admits Referee Errors In Mexico-Panama Match
Wednesday’s Mexico-Panama Gold Cup semifinal was an ugly affair, with Mexico winning 2-1 after being the beneficiary of bogus red card and penalty calls. The refereeing was so poor that even Mexican newspapers admitted the game was a sham....
Mexico Advance To Gold Cup Final After Panama Are CONCACAF'd
You thought Mexico advancing to the Gold Cup semifinals on a bullshit penalty was peak CONCACAF? You, my friend, must be new to world soccer’s most consistently embarrassing continental confederation. ...
The USMNT Just Lost To Jamaica. So What's Next?
The United States Men’s National Team lost 2-1 to Jamaica in the semifinals of the CONCACAF Gold Cup, the first time they have failed to advance to the finals since 2003, when they were knocked out in the semifinals by Brazil’s U-23 team. A U-23 team that featured players like Kaka, Maicon, Robinho,...