Soccer Page 283 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
England Lose World Cup Semifinal In Most Heartbreaking Fashion Possible
For 90 minutes, England stood toe-to-toe with Japan. The match was tied 1-1, with each team having scored a penalty kick, and as the clock ticked into extra time, it looked like we would need 30 more minutes to decide the tie. And then, English defender Laura Bassett made a touch that will haunt her...
How The USWNT Finally Figured It Out
After toiling in mediocrity for the whole tournament, with players playing out of position, no organizational structure, and no defined individual roles, the USWNT finally came out last night looking like the World Cup favorites we all thought they’d be. Because of that, we’re left with one question...
Landon Donovan Burns Jurgen Klinsmann, Gets Burned By Alexi Lalas
Landon Donovan is retired, and what better way to spend his down time than taking shots at Jurgen Klinsmann for leaving him off the 2014 World Cup roster?...
USWNT Reach Their Potential, Beat Germany 2-0
It took six games, but against Germany, the number one ranked team in the world, the USWNT finally showed how well they can play. They got a very big break from a blown call for their first goal, but the Americans played better throughout the match and deserved their victory....
An Ode to Sydney Leroux's Eyelashes
Everywhere I go, people are talking trash about Sydney Leroux’s fake eyelashes. To be fair, I’ve been in Canada, where she’s particularly reviled. I get it, she turned her back on you, Canada. You’re hurt. But through the pain, I beg you, do not bring her eyelashes into this. Because let’s be real: ...
HURR Come Here Children I'm The Sun
Scottish soccer club Partick Thistle released its new uniforms today, but the only reason to mention that bit of news is to justify posting more photos of Kingsley, the dorky sun mascot....
How The USWNT Can Beat Germany
So here we are, at the semifinals of the 2015 FIFA Women’s World Cup. There have been upsets, trash talk, and general FIFA-inflicted incompetence. After Germany escaped France last weekend, and the United States of America triumphed over China, this match between the world’s two top-ranked teams pro...
Inept FIFA Forces Women's World Cup Opponents To Share Hotel
Numerous times during the preparation for and staging of the 2015 Women’s World Cup, FIFA has made it clear that they don’t really give a shit about the women or teams involved. Here is another example. ...
FIFA Screwed France Out Of The Tournament, And It's Bullshit
Immediately following France’s loss to Germany in the Women’s World Cup quarterfinal, a rightfully frustrated Camille Abily lashed out at FIFA’s seeding protocols. As anyone who bothered to look ahead could see, those teams—probably the two best in the world—were always on a collision course at that...
Paraguayan Soccer Player Wins Game On PK, Uncle Dies Of Heart Attack
Paraguay put down Brazil in the Copa America last night, winning on penalties after Derlis Gonzalez equalized on a penalty in the second half and converted the deciding goal in the shootout. Reportedly, in the excitement of watching the winning shot, his 44-year-old uncle died of a heart attack. ...
French Player Slams FIFA: "They Have To Stop Taking Us For Idiots"
As undeniably awesome as last night’s France-Germany match was, it was complete and utter bullshit that these two teams were forced to meet in the quarterfinals. Far from being an unforeseen, unlucky occurrence, this is exactly as FIFA planned it. And France’s Camille Abily, for one, is none too hap...
France Built The World's Best Women's Soccer Team And Still Lost
Not even a minute into last night’s highly-anticipated, criminally-premature title fight that was France vs. Germany, Les Bleues were off on one of their typical jaunts towards goal, one that exemplified everything that makes them such a special team....
Sepp Blatter Out Here Like "Hold Up. Who Said Anything About <i>Resigning</i>?"
Is Sepp Blatter just insane or what? That’s about the only question that comes to mind when you hear that, yes, as reports hinted at a couple weeks ago, ol’ Sepp doesn’t actually plan on relinquishing his grasp of the FIFA presidency any time soon—this time coming from the man himself....
Japan Scored The Best WWC Goal I've Ever Seen With My Own Two Eyes
This is just, wow....
The USWNT Must Evolve Or Die
This time last year, Brazil were capping off a fairly up-and-down group stage of the 2014 World Cup on home soil. The tournament favorites, whose fans had been planning the impending victory celebration practically since the moment FIFA announced them as hosts, had at times impressed, and at others ...
Landon Donovan's Goal Was The Start Of Something Great
As we wait with increasingly dwindling patience for the U.S. women to get their shit together, I thought we could all do with some happy America fuzzy-memory time. June 23, 2010, five years ago today, Landon Donovan’s World Cup stoppage-time goal saved the USMNT from elimination, won them the group,...
Wambach Blows PK After Colombian Keeper Sent Off; U.S. Score Anyway
Abby Wambach botched a penalty kick awarded after Colombian keeper Catalina Pérez earned a red card for bringing Alex Morgan down on the inside edge of the box, and a lackluster performance by the U.S. seemed to have its lacklustiest moment until a lucky break when Morgan snuck one past replacement ...
England Fight Back Against Norway, Advance With Late Thunderbastard Goal
If you’re going to send a country home, this is how you send them on their way....
HURR I'm The Sun
Scottish soccer team Partick Thistle unveiled their new mascot this morning. It’s that. Why....