Soccer Page 283 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ill-Timed Bench Collapse Makes For Great Soccer Team Photo
This is what happened when Derry City, a professional soccer team from the League of Ireland Premier Division, tried to get together to snap a team photo. Everyone seems to be having a good laugh at the situation, except for that dude on the bottom left. He might be dead....

Massive Soccer Brawl With Punches, Flying Kicks, Sees 12 Guys Sent Off
Deportivo Roca and Cipolletti, rivals in Argentina's 3rd division, really, really don't like each other. In the middle of a match between the two earlier this week, one bad tackle sparked a full on melee, with multiple players catching fists to the face and studs to the body....

Kid Takes Soccer Ball To The Face, In Magnificent Slow Motion
You think the boy, who's about to take a soccer ball to the dome, will successfully protect himself when he puts his hands over his face. Nah. Poor kid....

MLS Commissioner Has Some Dumb Shit To Say About Jürgen Klinsmann
USMNT coach Jürgen Klinsmann has taken up one of his favorite pastimes recently: criticizing the U.S.'s subpar domestic soccer. Last week, Klinsmann made waves by coming out in support of a promotion-relegation system. On Tuesday, he took time to lament the return to MLS of America's best players, n...


French Player's Premature "Salute" Celebration Backfires Spectacularly
Here's a soccer story told in photos, with the moral being that you should never celebrate too early, lest you get burned so hard, your children's children will still need regular applications of salve....

Mayor Of London Hacks Down Little Boy In Pick-Up Soccer Match
Boris Johnson, Mayor of London and amateur sportsman, was watching some children play soccer today when he was invited to join in on proceedings. Presumably to teach them a lesson in the true, physical nature of English footy, he took out one kid with this terribly timed challenge:...

Neymar Scores Four Goals Today, Set To Become World's Best By Tomorrow
Now this is the Neymar we've all been waiting for....

Is This Brazil's Manager Calling An Argentina Coach A Cokehead?
Because that's exactly what it looks like. What else could new Brazil manager Dunga's accusatory staring, finger pointing, and aggressive nostril rubbing aimed at a member of Argentina's coaching staff realistically mean? Here's a gif:...

Watch Landon Donovan's Final Exit As A Member Of The USMNT
Landon Donovan made his final appearance in a U.S. national team uniform tonight against Ecuador, coming inches from scoring before being substituted off 41 minutes into the first half. Here's the isolated camera of his exit, and the crowd's ovation....

Jürgen Klinsmann Wishes America Would Adopt Promotion And Relegation
It's another international fixture break, which means it's another opportunity for Jürgen Klinsmann to get his message out to the media, which means it's yet another chance for him to criticise America's domestic leagues. This time, his beef is with the lack of promotion and relegation....

Goalkeeper Tries To Rearrange Ref's Face With Haymaker
Romeo Mitrović, of the Bosnian second division side Bratstvo Gračanica, does not like refs. He doesn't like their cards, he doesn't like their attitude, and he especially doesn't like their faces. Which is apparently why he tried to split one ref's wig after being shown a yellow....

Trinidad & Tobago Women's Soccer Team Gets Unlikely Help From Haiti
On Wednesday we wrote about the Trinidad & Tobago women's soccer team, which arrived in the U.S. for World Cup qualifying with just about $500 to its name. That wasn't nearly enough to cover the food, travel, and equipment needed for the next three weeks. But fans and colleagues have stepped up to h...

Champions League Seeding Just Got A Whole Lot Better
Today, UEFA announced changes to the Champions League seeding system. It's smarter, more streamlined, and really, the way it should've been from the start....

Columbus Crew Get Rid Of The Worst Logo In Sports
American soccer culture is formed by the continual tension between copying the traditions and behaviors of soccer abroad, and creating something uniquely American. With the United States Men's National Team firmly established as good but not great and MLS coming into its own as neither a retiremen...

Jozy Altidore Wants To Go Not Score Goals Somewhere Else
Poor Jozy. The 24-year-old American striker looked to be the Truth as recently as July 2013, when he transferred to English side Sunderland and effectively cemented a starting place on the USMNT after scoring 23 goals in just 21 league games for Dutch side AZ Alkmaar the season prior. But now, he is...

Soccer Players Accused Of Taping Autistic Teammate To Goal Post
A pair of high school soccer players in the Pittsburgh area are accused of duct taping their 16-year-old autistic teammate to a goal post on Sunday then leaving him there by himself. The boy's mother told WPXI her son was found crying for help. ...

Trinidad And Tobago Women's Soccer Team Could Use Help With Meal Money
Trinidad and Tobago just made it to the United States for the final round of qualifying for the 2015 Women's World Cup, a goal the island nation has never achieved in its 23 years of fielding a women's soccer team. It's not going to be easy: the "Soca Princesses" have arrived with, quite literally, ...

Struggling Brazilian Soccer Team Hires Weirdo Hypnotist
Walking barefoot on glass. Walking barefoot through hot coals. Bending iron poles with your neck. These are the things Olimar Tesser, Portuguesa's newly-hired team hypnotist, believes are the keys to dragging the Brazilian club out of the relegation zone....

Cutest Little Girl Is Already Our Favorite Superfan
Just look at those cute little hands clapping in time, and those cute little arms splaying out along with the rest of the crowd. It's so damn adorable!...