Soccer Page 312 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Did Mesut Özil Actually Suck Last Year? Whose Fault Was That?
It was easy to blame Mesut Özil, because it's easy to blame any athlete for anything. But last year, it was particularly easy to blame Mesut Özil. He arrived under the halo of his record £42.5 million fee at Arsenal, implicitly anointing him Savior, a title that almost always preempts failure....
Mauro Zárate Drills Home Magnificent Volley Off The Deflection
West Ham United took a 1-0 lead on Crystal Palace today when Mauro Zárate—in his first start for a new squad—lined up a volley after a sky-high deflection of a shot from teammate Mark Noble....
Premier League Text Message Scandal Is Making Everybody Stupid
May you never have to be defended by Harry Redknapp. ...
What An Enormous Boner
Peruvian side Universidad César Vallejo took a 2-1 lead into the half against Colombian squad Millonarios in Copa Sudamericana action tonight thanks to the enormous boner of Millonarios keeper Luis Enrique Delgado....
Kid Asks Jamie Carragher The Only Luis Suárez Question Worth Asking
A kid at a soccer camp asked Jamie Carragher, former Liverpool teammate of the bitey Luis Suárez, if Suárez ever sank his teeth into him. Carragher gave no answer except for a laugh. Kid should have followed up....
Turkish Soccer Fans Honor Mike Brown
[Besiktas fans at today's Champions League qualifying match against Arsenal hold up a sign in honor of Mike Brown, the unarmed 18-year-old who was shot dead by police in Ferguson, Missouri, last week. Photo by Ehran Aladi/Getty]...
How Chelsea's Missing Piece Fell Into Their Lap
Yesterday, Chelsea kicked off their season against Premier League minnows Burnley. When the match started, their new, star midfielder Cesc Fàbregas looked strange, out of place donned in blue. He didn't seem like he fit. ...
Chelsea, <em>Hot Damn</em>
It's too early to declare something a goal of the year contender...right?...
The 49ers' New Stadium Is Probably The Future Of Concessions
Yesterday saw the 49ers' very first game at their new home, Levi's Stadium, and if you had to pick one quote from a fan to summarize the tens of thousands of opinions out there, it'd be the one the Chronicle got from one season-ticket holder: "I live in San Francisco, so it's a little far. But t...
Something Disgusting Happened In Ashley Young's Mouth
It's hard to say exactly what this is that flies directly into Ashley Young's mouth—many on Twitter say it's bird shit, which should make you want to eat Clorox wipes for a week—but even if it's just human spit, it's equal parts amazing and gross. ...
This Isn't Your Club's Year: Our 2014-2015 Premier League Preview
Woohoo, soccer people. We're back....
Angry Soccer Coach Tries To Kick Ball, Falls Right On His Ass
Here is your latest reminder that you should never, ever try to kick something while you are angry. Because when you are angry you tend to forget things—like the fact that you are wearing very expensive dress shoes and standing on a slick floor, and that even though you are so damn mad and that ball...
FIFA Insists Women Play On Turf, Even Though They Hate It
The 2015 women's World Cup is still quite a long way off, but that doesn't mean that FIFA isn't already working hard on alienating the participants. No organization is better at being the worst than FIFA, except for maybe SMERSH....
Borussia Dortmund Player Scores Goal, Dons Spider-Man Mask
Borussia Dortmund beat Bayern Munich 2-0 in the DFL Supercup today, thanks in large part to a spectacular header from Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang in the 61st minute. After he scored, Aubameyang yanked a Spider-Man mask out of his sock and put it on his head because, sure, why the hell not?...
Diego Maradona Slaps Fool-Ass Reporter For Winking At His Ex-Wife
Diego Maradona is and always will be the GOAT, mostly because he's the type of dude who, at the age of 53, will calmly exit his car, wade into a throng of reporters, find the one who may or may not have winked at his wife, and slap that dingus right in his face....
It's Over Before It Started: What You Need To Know About France Ligue 1
France's Ligue 1 kicks off today, and outside of watching Zlatan Ibrahimović and Paris Saint-Germain make fools of their opponents week after week en route to a third league championship in three years, you may be thinking "What's the point?"...
Ted Lasso Is Back, And He's Still Clueless About Soccer
Jason Sudeikis has reprised his role as Ted Lasso, the American football coach who doesn't know shit about soccer, and the bit is still funny....