Soccer Page 313 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Paris Saint-Germain Are Bullshit
We can't keep letting PSG do this. Yesterday, the French giants took on Cyprian giants/world ants APOEL in Champions League play. This was a match even schizophrenic PSG couldn't muck up, right? No. Instead of a dominating performance on a day full of them, we saw another typically lackadaisical dis...
Romell Quioto Golazo Puts Olimpia Up On Timbers Two Minutes Into Match
CONCACAF Champions League action resumed tonight, and MLS's Portland Timbers traveled to Honduras to take on Olimpia—where they were greeted just moments into the match by this over-the-head flip goal by Romell Quioto....
Man City Takes On CSKA Moscow In Empty, Eerie Stadium
Manchester City traveled to Russia today to take on CSKA Moscow in a Champions League match, and the two sides are currently playing in an entirely empty stadium because CSKA fans were banned from attending for being racist all the time. ...
Report: To Escape Qatari Heat, World Cup Matches Might Start At 1 A.M.
Despite overwhelming evidence of corruption, it doesn't look like Qatar will be losing its 2022 World Cup hosting privileges. Which still leaves that little problem of how to play in the heart of a Middle Eastern summer. One new proposal involves pushing back start times into the night and early mor...
This Shameful Display Of Mass Injury-Faking Is The Pinnacle Of Diving
Here it is, soccer haters. If any of you needed that one crucial piece of evidence that the sport's players were a bunch of diving, playacting wimps, this video showing five Defensor Bolívar players faking injuries, forcing the ref to end the match eight minutes early, should be just what you've ...
Smoke, Flares, Riot Police In Belgrade Derby Make For Haunting Photos
Partizan and Red Star met today for the premier rivalry in Serbia's SuperLiga. The fan atmosphere was the real star. From these photos, you can see the countless flares billowing unending stacks of smoke into the stands and on the pitch, all in front of the numerous riot police. It all combines for ...
Lionel Messi Almost Scoring Is More Impressive Than Most Actual Goals
A player broadly similar to Lionel Messi might've been what Johan Cruyff imagined Barcelona would produce after implementing his philosophy, but not even the Dutchman could've foreseen this Argentine's specific genius. I mean, try to prevent your jaw from dropping when he merely gets close to scor...
Alex Morgan Out Of World Cup Qualifying After This Nasty Ankle Injury
Alex Morgan will miss the rest of the USWNT's World Cup qualifying matches because of a sprained ankle she picked up during Thursday's game against Guatemala. It's an unfortunate set-back for a player with a history of ankle injuries, but thankfully it doesn't look as serious as it could've been....
Chelsea's Brilliant Team Goal Is The Best Of The Season
We knew what we were seeing last year when Jack Wilshere finished off that intricate Arsenal move, and we know what we saw today: the best team goal we're going to see in England this season....
Sunderland Defender's Exquisite Volley Makes For Wonderful Own Goal
Above, Sunderland's Santiago Vergini shows off some impressive technical ability as he takes a bouncing ball and cracks it past the keeper. It would've been worthy of his personal highlight reel, if it hadn't been aimed at his own net. But for an own goal, this was a beaut....
José Mourinho Doesn't Intend To Stop Being An Asshole Any Time Soon
José Mourinho is feeling himself right now. He has the best team in England, maybe the best in the world, and they're firing on all cylinders. So his typically dismissive response to a recent controversy involving other coaches' not taking too well to his celebratory handshake routine isn't surpri...
David Moyes, On What We All Saw Coming: "I Really Didn't See It Coming"
Former Manchester United manager, laughingstock, and amateur golfer David Moyes has stayed pretty quiet since getting canned before last season's end. (Publically, at least. Don't come at him sideways at a wine bar.) Today, he spoke to the Guardian, expressing a frankly unbelievable level of naive...
Cruyff's Turn: How Barcelona's Greatest Icon Created Its Greatest Player
As you’ve probably heard by now, this week marks the 10-year anniversary of Lionel Messi’s first official appearance with the Barcelona first team. The soccer world has come together to celebrate this feat, remarkable for all the obvious reasons—the goals, the passes, the dribbles, the trophies—and ...
Ill-Timed Bench Collapse Makes For Great Soccer Team Photo
This is what happened when Derry City, a professional soccer team from the League of Ireland Premier Division, tried to get together to snap a team photo. Everyone seems to be having a good laugh at the situation, except for that dude on the bottom left. He might be dead....
Massive Soccer Brawl With Punches, Flying Kicks, Sees 12 Guys Sent Off
Deportivo Roca and Cipolletti, rivals in Argentina's 3rd division, really, really don't like each other. In the middle of a match between the two earlier this week, one bad tackle sparked a full on melee, with multiple players catching fists to the face and studs to the body....
Kid Takes Soccer Ball To The Face, In Magnificent Slow Motion
You think the boy, who's about to take a soccer ball to the dome, will successfully protect himself when he puts his hands over his face. Nah. Poor kid....
MLS Commissioner Has Some Dumb Shit To Say About Jürgen Klinsmann
USMNT coach Jürgen Klinsmann has taken up one of his favorite pastimes recently: criticizing the U.S.'s subpar domestic soccer. Last week, Klinsmann made waves by coming out in support of a promotion-relegation system. On Tuesday, he took time to lament the return to MLS of America's best players, n...
French Player's Premature "Salute" Celebration Backfires Spectacularly
Here's a soccer story told in photos, with the moral being that you should never celebrate too early, lest you get burned so hard, your children's children will still need regular applications of salve....
Mayor Of London Hacks Down Little Boy In Pick-Up Soccer Match
Boris Johnson, Mayor of London and amateur sportsman, was watching some children play soccer today when he was invited to join in on proceedings. Presumably to teach them a lesson in the true, physical nature of English footy, he took out one kid with this terribly timed challenge:...