Soccer Page 312 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Brazilian Soccer Guy Who Ordered His Ex Tortured To Death Signs With New Team
Bruno de Souza is the latest player signed by second-tier Brazilian side Boa Esporte. He’s made his name tending goal for prominent Brazilian teams like Flamengo and Atlético Mineiro—and also for being sentenced in 2013 to 22 years in prison after he was found guilty of arranging the murder of Eliza...
Jose Mourinho Talks More Shit, Says "Judas Is No. 1"
Nothing—not losing, not winning, and certainly not cascading jeers from fans of his former club—will stop Jose Mourinho from talking heaps of trash. The man simply cannot help himself. On Monday, the fighting words came after Manchester United’s 1-0 loss to Chelsea in the FA Cup quarterfinal, during...
All Hell Breaks Loose As Players, Fans Brawl On Pitch During Brazilian Soccer Game
Early on in this video, you’ll think you have some understanding of just how insane the action got during Sunday’s Gama-Brasiliense soccer match in Brazil. But then you’ll get to the part where a few fans take a break from a punchy tug-of-war to strip another fan of all his clothes, save his underwe...
Sergio Ramos Is Real Madrid's Cocky, Header-Scoring Savior
Sergio Ramos has a magical forehead imbued with the power to score clutch goals. This head of his brings unending joy to Real Madrid fans, despair to opponents and rivals, and is arguably the most valuable body part in Madrid this side of Cristiano Ronaldo’s priceless right leg....
José Mourinho Believes He Did Chelsea A Huge Favor By Being So Terrible Last Season
José Mourinho thinks he deserves credit for Chelsea’s success this season. You can tell that this is true because he has said the exact opposite....
Liga MX Cancels Weekend Games As Officials Strike To Protest Threats From Players
There are no Liga MX games this weekend, as officials for the Mexican soccer league have gone on strike to protest a series of recent threats from players. ...
Juventus Win After Milan Whistled For Questionable Last-Minute Handball
Serie A leaders Juventus went 11 points clear today after they escaped with a 2-1 victory over Milan, thanks to a last-minute handball penalty called on Milan’s Mattia De Sciglio....
Carlos Tevez, Shanghai Resident For Two Months, Hasn't Tried Chinese Food Yet
The Chinese Super League season is underway! Let’s check in on Argentine soccer icon Carlos Tevez, who signed with Shanghai Shenhua for piles of money in December....
Tiny Russian Boy Meets José Mourinho, Can't Contain His Joy
If you’d like to see what the sentence “Oh my god, this is the coolest thing that has ever happened to me!” looks like when played out in real life, this Russian kid’s reaction to seeing José Mourinho in the tunnel before yesterday’s Rostov-Manchester United match will do the trick:...
PSG Pooped All Over Themselves Against Barcelona
Yes, Barcelona beat Paris Saint-Germain. It was unthinkable and amazing and required inhuman levels of self-confidence and Barça deserve lots of credit. But still. PSG. For the love of god, how do you lose that game?...
Barcelona's Comeback-Sealing Goal, As Heard Around The World
It’s been nearly an entire day and it’s still hard to believe that what happened yesterday actually happened. (Six to one!!!!!!) Relive some of the insanity of the Sergi Roberto goal that capped off Barcelona’s incredible Champions League comeback against Paris Saint-Germain with calls of the moment...
Barcelona Knew They Could Do The Impossible
The most revelatory story that emerged before today’s Barcelona-PSG Champions League rematch was a funny little nugget about Barcelona’s outsized confidence in their impending victory....
American Wonderteen Christian Pulisic Stomped All Over Benfica<em></em>
Borussia Dortmund lost 1-0 to Benfica in Lisbon, Portugal two weeks ago, necessitating a strong performance today in the second leg of their Round of 16 Champions League tie to advance. They needn’t worry, because the wonderteen was there. ...
Barcelona Pull Off Greatest Champions League Comeback In History, Beat PSG 6-1
This truly is one of the craziest things that has ever happened in sports....
USWNT Concedes A Pair Of Easy Goals To France
France took a 2-0 lead against the United States Women’s National Team into halftime tonight without having to do much besides let Eugénie Le Sommer run at the USWNT’s center backs and let them fall over themselves to give her easy paths to goal. It started in the seventh minute, when Allie Long got...
Seasons Where Arsenal Finished Fourth And Got Knocked Out In The Round Of 16, Ranked
Somehow, it’s only happened four times....
Arsenal's Champions League Comeback Fantasy Ruined By Penalty And Red Card
Welp, it was fun while it lasted. Despite putting together a lively first-half display, the last vestiges of what little hope Arsenal had of beating Bayern Munich by a huge margin died in this sequence of events early in the second half:...
Atlanta United Fans Break Out Homophobic Chant During Inaugural Game
Atlanta’s new MLS team made its debut on Sunday, losing to the New York Red Bulls 2-1 in front of 55,000 new fans. Some fans cheered the team on and enjoyed themselves, some fans continued to engage in embarrassing “football” cosplay, and some fans got homophobic....
Honestly I Hope Most Of The Young USMNTers Suck Because I Hate Their Names<em></em>
The young boys on the USMNT U20 team won their age group’s CONCACAF Championship this weekend. Which, for diehard American soccer fans, should be great, being a good omen for the future and all. But fuck that. I never want to root for anyone with one of these nearly universally terrible names....
Soccer Comes To Atlanta
Dennis Schröder and Monica enjoy the festivities during The Atlanta United FC’s inaugural game, while a bored-looking Yung Joc poses next to them, seeming to belie his claim that “anywhere you meet me, guaranteed to go down.”...