Soccer Page 322 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Liverpool Fan Unconcerned With Injured Aston Villa Player
Aston Villa striker Gabriel Agbonlahor went tumbling into the stands today and was slow to get up. He could have used some help but he landed right in front of a Liverpool fan who could not possibly care less. Instead, the guy took a picture....

Onlookers Horrified By Giant Testicle
You know things are bad when your coach says of your testicle injury, "I've never seen anything like it."...

Real Madrid Coach Carlo Ancelotti Glimpsed The Edge Of Existence
While this photo was snapped during Real Madrid's 2-0 win over Osasuna to reach the Copa del Rey quarters, the stare of head coach Carlo Ancelotti is that of a man who is elsewhere, possibly someplace Kubrickianly dark and distant. ...

Cristiano Ronaldo Scores Goal Off Goalie's Taint
Cristiano Ronaldo, fresh off of his 2013 Ballon d'Or, scored a goal after the ball bounced between the legs of Osasuna keeper Andres Fernandez and in for a 1-0 lead....

Video Evidence That Americans Don't Know Anything About Soccer
We're at a strange junction in American soccer fandom. The sport is more popular and visible here than ever, but is still pretty niche. So when this guy decided to ask some college kids fairly basic soccer questions, the results were wildly inconsistent....

Sadly, This Great Picture Of Ronaldo Stealing Messi's Girl Is Fake
Cristiano Ronaldo won his second Ballon d'Or yesterday, awarded to the year's best soccer player. He beat out Lionel Messi, who had won it four years in a row. Ronaldo's win was expected (though neither he nor Messi had each other in their top three), so the highlight of the gala was the above photo...

Cristiano Ronaldo Cries After Winning Ballon D'Or
[Turns out there's a soul inside that chiseled case of muscle and arrogance after all. That or the cyborgs are getting good at feigning human emotion. Photo by Michael Probst/AP]...

Aston Villa's Nathan Baker Stretchered Off After Strike To The Face
Villa Park played host to a scary moment today as Aston Villa defender Nathan Baker had to be given oxygen on the pitch after catching an Arsenal strike square in the face....

NBA Logos As European Soccer Badges
We've seen this before with NFL logos, but it was about time for some enterprising artist to try his hand at basketball, the most internationally popular American sport. Six of our favorites are above, but click here to see Serbian designer Milan Vučković's reimagining of all 30 NBA teams as soccer ...

What's Wrong With Manchester United, And How To Fix It
Yesterday, defending Premier League champions Manchester United faced the league's last place team, Sunderland, in the first leg of the League Cup semifinal. After losing the first two matches of 2014 (at home to Tottenham and to Swansea), United were fighting to not lose three straight for the firs...

Ibrahimovic Scores First-Half Hat Trick, Remains Unstoppable
Zlatan Ibrahimovic is playing soccer right now. He is scoring a lot. The first came from an unfathomable flick of the foot, almost aiming back where the cross came from in order to blast in the ball with the outside of his right....


Recently Retired German Soccer Player Announces His Homosexuality
Thomas Hitzlsperger, in an interview in German paper Die Zeit, has announced today that he is gay. This makes the former Stuttgart captain, who also played in England just last season, the highest-profile soccer player to come out as gay....

[Outside SL Benfica's Estádio da Luz, there stands a statue of the club's and Portugal's greatest ever player, Eusébio. Today, the day of the Mozambique-born Portuguese legend's funeral, the monument is wrapped in the scarves of some of the thousands of fans on hand to commemorate the life of "o Rei...

Soccer Player's Trick Shot Knocks Toy Off The Top Of Wedding Cake
I'm telling you, man, the Japanese get game shows. Even after bringing us the 2 vs. 55 matchup of last week, they've thought of a new and even more ridiculous way to test the skills of a soccer player....

Italian TV Presenter Goes Bananas After Kaka's 100th Milan Goal
Last time we caught up with Tiziano Crudeli, the famed AC Milan homer, he was near suicidal after a particularly tough Champions League loss. Lucky he decided against taking his life, otherwise he wouldn't have seen Kaka's 100th club goal and we wouldn't have this call....

Anonymous Note Urges Smelly Soccer Fans To Bathe
Yes, an anonymous note is passive-aggressive. But there's no polite way to confront somebody about their body odor, and if you have to sit next to them for two hours every week, it's probably better to speak up than suffer in stinky silence....

Two Japanese Soccer Stars Play Team Of 55 Kids On Game Show
What do you get when you mix Shinji Kagawa and Hiroshi Kiyotake, 33 Japanese kids, and a soccer pitch? Well, a pretty easily scored goal. But what about when you up the number to 55? Pure chaos....

The Worst Owner In Sports: A Photo Gallery
Vincent Tan, Malaysian billionaire and owner of Cardiff City, is the worst owner in sports. He is also a pretty hilarious looking dude. With that in mind, we decided to take a journey with the man through his decidedly up-and-down 2013....

Map: What Every Country Calls The Thing We Call "Soccer"
Over on Reddit, user reddripper has compiled an excellent map of what different parts of the world call the game where you use your feet to kick a ball into a goal. Shades of pink are variations and literal translations of "football," blues are "soccer," and greens represent other etymologies....