Soccer Page 322 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Defender Kicks In Own Goal Off Goalkeeper's Face
Own goals are, by definition, bad, but this own goal in a Bundesliga matchup between Mainz and Augsburg is really, really bad. Augsburg goalkeeper Marwin Hitz made a glancing save on the initial shot from Mainz, but the ball hit off the post and trickled back in front of the net. So, trying to clear...
Twitter Users Mistaken For Soccer Whipping Boys Share A Moment
It's tough having a Twitter username that gets mistaken for a celebrity's by stupid people. Today on Twitter, three of them—not-David-Moyes, not-Robin-van-Persie, and not-André Villas-Boas—had a commiseration....
The End Of Arsenal's Premier League Title Hopes, On An Infinite Loop
Sky's still blue....
Here's Everton's Ross Barkley Dribbling 75 Yards And Scoring A Goal
So, Everton are playing Newcastle today, and midway through the first half, the Magpies took a corner kick that was cleared to Everton's young midfielder Ross Barkley. Then Barkley dribbled all the way down the right by himself, cut left inside the box through Newcastle defenders, and roofed a shot ...
Report: Senior FIFA Members Tried To Halt Corruption Probe
Every time FIFA does something right—like forming an independent investigation into allegations of corruption surrounding the votes for the 2018 and 2022 World Cups—it manages to shoot itself in the foot. Reports out of Switzerland claim that "senior FIFA power-brokers" attempted to derail the inves...
Report: Qatar's World Cup Expected To Take More Lives Than 9/11
"Qatar is a country without a conscience," begins the International Trade Union Confederation's recent report on the working and living conditions of the 1.4 million migrant workers living in Qatar, many of whom are there to build stadiums and infrastructure for the 2022 World Cup. After reading thr...
Estonian Soccer Team Plays Human Bowling For Goal Celebration
Nomme Kalju's Hidetoshi Wakui scored a wholly unremarkable goal on Saturday, but made up for it with a winning celebration. Wakui scored the first goal of the Tallinn derby against F.C. Flora, picked up the ball, and immediately began choreographing the bowling pin celebration. It did not disappoin...
Goalkeeper Blows Game With Enormous Boner In Added Time
Poor Dimitrios Konstantopoulos. It's bad enough the Middlesbrough goalkeeper cost his team a point today against QPR by allowing a goal in the 94th minute, but it's how he did it—by completely whiffing on a clearance and allowing Bobby Zamora the chance to walk in a goal—that is utterly embarrassing...
Wayne Rooney Scores Goal From 50 Yards Away
Wayne Rooney opened the scoring for Manchester United today with a long-range bomb reminiscent of Luis Suarez's goal for Liverpool two years ago, a 50-yard volley that left NBC's announcers almost at a loss for words. We're sure Rooney's West Ham opponents had a few, though....
Ref Sends Off Wrong Man In Chelsea-Arsenal Match
Arsenal's Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain appeared to use his hand to deflect a shot that was, at the very least, near the goal today in Stamford Bridge. Eden Hazard one-timed a feed from Fernando Torres to the far side of the goal and Oxlade-Chamberlain must have just brain-farted because he dove and trie...
Manchester United Get A Big Win, Remain Soccer's Funniest Joke
Coaches and players often say, when asked whether something or other has added fire to an upcoming game, that if just being in the Big Time Sporting Event doesn't motivate you, you're beyond hope anyway. If that's true, then Manchester United's passion-filled 3-0 comeback against Olympiakos probably...
Andrea Pirlo Just Scored Another Incredible Free Kick Goal
This is Juventus's Andrea Pirlo. He's 100 years old, and, aside from the greatest flowing mane of hair to ever grace a human's head, looks older than that. No one has seen him move in earnest in six or seven years, but he scores stunning free kicks all the time. This is one of those times. ...
This Intentional Own Goal Is A Black Hole Of Fair Play And Bullshit
Okay, let's break down this footage of a recent Serie D match: A Dro player fair-plays the ball out of play after a Fersina dive, Fersina fair-plays it back to the Dro keeper, who somehow lets it slip through his legs for a goal. Then Fersina allows Dro to run down the field unimpeded to fair-play a...
Zenit Player's Face Was A River Of Blood After Getting Kneed In Head
Unlike Antonio Valencia yesterday, Zenit's Tomas Hubocan was looking more Jake LaMotta than Rocky after Robert Lewandowski opened a vein with an unfortunately well-timed knee to the side of the head. Soccer is a blood sport....
Sweet Jesus, Look At Antonio Valencia's Face
Cut him, Moyes!...
This Fluke Backheel Goal From 35 Yards Out Is Just Hilarious
While you MLS truthers and Eurosnobs were watching soccer last weekend, this absolute gem of a goal happened in the Jordan Premier League. ...
Report: FIFA VP Paid Millions By Qatari Firm After World Cup Vote
It's a good sign a sport's governance is seriously screwed up when a report emerges that a FIFA executive received millions of dollars from a Qatari soccer official after Qatar was awarded the World Cup, and everyone's first reaction isn't anger, but more along the lines of "no shit."...
Lionel Messi Broke Barcelona's All-Time Goal Record With This Hat Trick
Another game, another broken record in the simply unparalleled career of Lionel Messi. His hat trick against Osasuna yesterday put him atop the all-time Barcelona scoring charts at 371, surpassing Paulino Alcántara's 87-year-old mark of 369. It was a vintage display from a player whose game is only ...
Arsenal Striker Nicklas Bendtner Rubbed His Dick On A Taxi Tuesday
While Arsenal were in Germany being ousted by FC Bayern in the Champions League on Tuesday, Gunners striker Nicklas Bendtner was getting shithoused in Denmark. He got so smashed, according to reports, that he threatened a cab driver, pulled out his cock, and humped the car. The Telegraph has more:...