Soccer Page 324 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Sunderland WAG Goes The Full Al Bundy
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Here Are The Salaries Of Every MLS Player
That little guy on the left? That's Joao Plata, a 21-year-old Ecuadorean forward making a splash in his first season after being traded to Real Salt Lake. He had a hell of a game on Saturday, assisting on both RSL goals in a 2-0 win. That ties him for the MLS lead in assists. There's a very good cha...

Joey Barton Suspended For Calling Thiago Silva "An Overweight Ladyboy"
So, what's problem child Joey Barton up to as he nears the end of his season-long exile in France? Coming up with some truly unique insults, that's for sure....

Messi Back From Injury, Scores On His First Touch, Is Still Pretty Good
It's probably safe to say that hammy's not bothering Lionel Messi too much anymore. After being held out of last week's Champions League match against Bayern Munich, Messi returned today in the 56th minute just as Barcelona were thinking about maybe not beating La Liga foes Real Betis. He quickly pu...

Rubén Pérez's Long-Distance Golazo Against Barcelona Is Just Ridiculous
This is Real Betis midfielder Rubén Pérez. He decided he'd have a go against Barcelona from like 35 yards out, because he probably dreams about scoring goals like this all the time. The end result is slightly NSFW....

Chelsea's Win Over United Intensifies Premier League Race For Top Four
For 86 minutes, today's Premier League match between Manchester United and Chelsea felt like it was destined to finish as a boring, 0-0 draw. United looked like they didn't want to be there, though to be fair, that's understandable, since they wrapped up the league last month. Chelsea, currently emb...

This Video Of Hull City Getting Promoted To The Premiership Is Epic
Well, this is heartwarming. On the final day of the npower Championship regular season, second-place Hull City was playing Cardiff City, who had already won the league and promotion to the English Premier League. The way the Championship works is the top two teams are automatically promoted, while t...

Utah Soccer Referee Punched By Teenage Player, Dies A Week Later
Richard Portillo, a 46-year-old soccer referee from Salt Lake City, was officiating a game on April 27 when a player punched him in the head after Portillo gave him a yellow card. Portillo slipped into a coma and died Saturday night, exactly one week after the incident....

Soccer Fans Storm Field To Celebrate Mediocrity, Melancholy Ensues
Today was the last day of the season in England's npower Championship league, and relegation candidates Huddersfield Town and Barnsley were playing each other. Both teams were dangling dangerously above the drop zone, and a loss would've likely sent one of the teams down to League One....

Theo Walcott Just Scored The Fastest Goal Of The Premier League Season
Arsenal is playing Queens Park Rangers this afternoon in an important match for the Gunners. Just before kickoff, bitter rivals Spurs pulled ahead of Arsenal thanks to a late winner from the Premier League player of the year, Gareth Bale. Bale's goal made Arsenal's match against QPR a must-win conte...

But Seriously, Gareth Bale Scores Whenever The Hell He Wants
Today, Tottenham were four short minutes from a disastrous draw or even a loss against Southampton when Spurs star Gareth Bale decided, as he's done a few times this season, that he would probably rather win. So he went and scored....

Monterrey Wins CCL Over Santos Thanks To Four Late Unanswered Goals
Monterrey retained ownership of North America's most prestigious club soccer crown after a stunning comeback against Santos Laguna, including three goals in the final ten minutes of play in the CONCACAF Champions League final....

Dutch Striker Misses Wide-Open Goal From Point-Blank Range
There's got to be a point where one gets so close to the goal that it becomes physically impossible to miss. Nicoletta den Ridder was not that close. ...

Soccer Ref Gets Lifetime Ban For Shoving, Kicking Player
It's in Russia, because of course it's in Russia....

Frustrated Soccer Fans Brick Up Club's Offices
It's been a decidedly disappointing year for Rapid Wien. Despite being the most historically successful team in the Austrian Bundesliga, they're running a distant third, and on Saturday lost at home to rivals Red Bull Salzburg. ...

An Abu Dhabi Sheik Is About To Buy A New York MLS Expansion Team
Back in August, we heard noise from a deep-money source that a United Arab Emirates sheik was prepared to pay a ton of money for a New York-based MLS team. The owner was reportedly lobbying for "crazy benefits and tax breaks."...

Messi Back To Scoring Ridiculous Goals, Bringing Ray Hudson To Orgasm
While Barcelona fell short of seizing La Liga today—they needed a win, and only got a draw, at Atletico Bilbao—it's hard to argue any viewer didn't get their money's worth when Lionel Messi danced amongst defenders in a demonstration of ball control that reminds anyone who might have forgotten that...

Norwegian Soccer Club Pissed Because This Road Was Built On Its Pitch
Well, this creates a bit of a problem, no? Ny Krohnborg IL, a regional side that plays in Norway, came back from the offseason to find this sitting along one of the goal lines on its pitch. Surprise!...

Bayern Demolish Barcelona In A Changing Of The Guard
In the first leg of last night's Champions League semifinal, the world witnessed a coup that was anything but graceful. For Barcelona, it was painful, tragic, vaguely horrifying. It was violent. After five years of undisputed domination, Barça were not allowed to simply fade away, to retire back to ...