Soccer Page 326 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Arsenal Fan Banned Three Years For Throwing Banana At Gareth Bale
An Arsenal supporter had his day in court this morning, about a month after hurling a banana at Tottenham star Gareth Bale during the North London Derby. I guess that's racial progress?...

Without Messi, Barcelona Look All Too Mortal
Barcelona got a satisfying result in the first leg of their Champions League quarterfinal, drawing Paris Saint-Germain 2-2 in France, but it came at a price. Javier Mascherano went down with a knee injury, and Lionel Messi, the world’s best player, had to leave the game at halftime after injuring hi...

How Dortmund Announced Their Arrival As Europe's Most Exciting Team
Yesterday was supposed to be Real Madrid's. We were all set to write about Cristiano Ronaldo being maybe the most complete player in the world after a brace against a tough Galtasaray side. Or maybe about how the defending Spanish champs look a decent bet to hoist the Champions League trophy next mo...


Dortmund's Tifo Can See Into Your Soul
Well-played by Borussia Dortmund fans, with this bit of choreography just before kickoff of the Champions League match, a thrilling stoppage time comeback victory over Malaga. (Malaga's owner: mad.)...

Borussia Dortmund Scores Two Goals In Stoppage Time To Steal A Place In The Champions League Semifinals
The Westfalenstadion crowd exploded as Borussia Dortmund scored twice in stoppage time to overcome Málaga and earn a spot in the final four of Europe's most prestigious competition today....

Messi Vs. A Robot Goalkeeper: Who Ya Got?
When the Robot War comes, there's a very good chance it will go to penalties. In that case, we will call on humanity's greatest goalscorer. But the machines have picked their champion: RoboKeeper. All hail RoboKeeper....

Idiot On The Field Attacks Referee With Vuvuzela
This happened yesterday in South Africa in a match between the Golden Arrows and the Kaizer Chiefs. The idiot got by security and found himself on the field/pitch running over 100 meters before he hit referee Lwandile Mfiki with his green vuvuzela....

Mario Balotelli Smokes Thing
On Saturday, the A.C. Milan star was caught smoking a cigarette in the toilet of a train as he and his teammates were traveling for a match against ACF Fiorentina. You'd think Italy would be the one place left on the planet where it would be OK to smoke on a train, but you would be wrong....

Chelsea And Tottenham Have A Winning Problem
Three days after beating Manchester United in the FA Cup quarterfinal, Chelsea easily dispatched Russian club Rubin Kazan, 3-1, to take a commanding lead in their Europa League quarterfinal. Tottenham had a tougher time in their first leg, drawing Swiss side Basel 2-2 at home. During the match, Spur...

Chelsea Want You To Order Next Season's Kit Without Knowing What It Looks Like
In the annals of insulting sales pitches, this Adidas teaser—wherein John Terry, Demba Ba and Fernando Torres blue themselves—goes down as the most blatant. "Pre-order the new 2013/14 home shirt without seeing it," you're urged....

So, How Did The World's Best Soccer Team Manage Without The World's Best Player?
Barcelona traveled to Paris yesterday to take on Paris Saint-Germain in the first leg of what might be the most intriguing matchup of the Champions League quarterfinals round. PSG, bought by a group of Qatari investors last year, has quickly become one of the richest clubs in the world. This season,...

Gus Johnson Will Be The Voice Of Soccer, Even If He Has To Ruin The Champions League To Get There
Goal-line technology? FIFA corruption? Landon Donovan’s magical mystery tour? America's biggest soccer controversy is, unexpectedly, Gus Johnson. Upon the announcement that Fox would use Screamin’ Gus as its lead announcer for the 2018 World Cup, public reaction sorted itself into two extremist camp...


This Is The Goal Line Technology That Will Be Used At The 2014 World Cup
Spurred largely by Frank Lampard's disallowed score at the last World Cup (and also the fact that's fucking 2013 and there's no reason to be guessing on goals), FIFA has settled on the specific technology that it will use for Brazil 2014. Magic cameras! Virtual replays! Dick Tracy radio wristwatches...

Andrew Cassidy Is The Obese, 50-Year-Old Brit Who Is Better At Soccer Than You And Everyone You Know
Last week, we posted this video of Cassidy juggling in a parking lot. He was, quite simply, the best we've ever seen. We didn't know who he was, and some suggested that he was literally Diego Maradona. He's not. But it's close....

Manchester United Hired "A Fleet Of Private Jets" To Shuttle Its Players Back From International Competitions
Today in operating costs: because soccer's international competition schedule—as of late, World Cup qualifiers—interferes with the English Premier League's late-season schedule, one English Premier League team you may have heard of hired a bunch of private jets to make sure its players would be back...

American Soccer Fans Get Pelted By Beers At U.S.A.-Mexico World Cup Qualifier
Even though last night's World Cup qualifying match between the United States and Mexico ended in a tie, it was essentially a victory for the American team, which came into the game with a 0-13-2 record in World Cup qualifiers at Estadio Azteca. The game left the American contingent of fans at the ...

The U.S. Walking Away From Estadio Azteca With A Draw Is Out Of This World
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Snow Clash: Watching Soccer Get Weird At 5,000 Feet
DENVER— By almost every measure, Dick's Sporting Goods Park in Commerce City, Colo., is a thoroughly modern stadium. Built for $147 million in 2007 and home to Major League Soccer’s Colorado Rapids since then, it seats 18,000 soccer fans just north of Denver. The entire complex contains 24 soccer fi...