Soccer Page 334 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
That Awful Michael Jackson Statue At Fulham's Stadium Will Be Removed
Happily, the eyesore is gone. Unhappily, it will not be vaporized, shoved into the Thames, flash-frozen and shattered by mallets, coated in fox blood and torn apart by famished hounds, shot into the sun, or melted down into a fine paste suitable for insulation....
Jürgen Klopp Is, Uh, Upset
FEEL THE RAGE. After Borussia Dortmund conceded a 29th-minute goal to Napoli's Gonzalo Higuaín, manager Jürgen Klopp took out his anger on the fourth official and was sent off....
German Soccer Club Scores Incredible Goal Seven Seconds Into Match
RB Leipzig deployed some ingenious early game strategy in a match against VfB Stuttgart II this past Saturday. At the start of the match, Leipzig bum rushed six extra players into Stuttgart's side of the field, a brilliant move which resulted in the goal you see above. I don't know who Leipzig's co...
David Moyes Calls For Retroactive Punishment For Divers
Ashley Young is one of the most notorious divers in the Premier League, launching himself with such abandon and frequency that fans have set his antics to the Superman theme. David Moyes is one of the practices's most outspoken critics, having fined his own players for it in the past. So when Moyes ...
Idiot Parachutes Onto Field
During a Saturday match between Conference Premier sides Salisbury City and Chester City, this Idiot parachuted onto the pitch to the applause of dozens of spectators, then calmly gathered up his parachute while players and a referee looked on, seemingly bewildered and mildly annoyed....
Gareth Bale Scores On His Real Madrid Debut
After an excruciating summer, Real Madrid bought the Premier League player of the year Gareth Bale from Tottenham Hotspur for a world-record fee of £85.3 million. Today, Bale made his debut against Villarreal, who surprisingly were kind of thumping Madrid for much of the first half and took a 1-0 le...
No One Has Any Idea What Is Going On In The Premier League
European leagues were on hiatus during the international break for World Cup qualifiers, and so today was the first chance we all got to see the new Premier League since the close of the record-breaking transfer window that saw an ungodly amount of money and men move in, out, and around England. It ...
FIFA Investigating Costa Rica For Various Horseshit Moves
Costa Rica, a safe, verdant, progressive nation filled with a bunch of total assholes, did everything in its power to disrupt the USMNT before and during last week's World Cup qualifier. (Did you know we hate Costa Rica now? We do. Go soccer!) But now FIFA wants to know if things went too far....
Is Everything You Know About Soccer Wrong? Ask David Sally
We're joined now by David Sally, co-author with Chris Anderson of The Numbers Game: Why Everything You Know About Soccer Is Wrong. It's an argument for the power of analytics in soccer that's full of surprising conclusions about issues like the value of a goal scored relative to that of one saved, w...
USMNT Moves Up To 13th In Latest FIFA World Rankings
FIFA's September world rankings were released this morning, and we found out that U.S. Soccer, after being ranked 19th just last month, jumped six more spots to 13th in the world. The Americans also were able to hold onto the top spot in CONCACAF. Mexico, second in the federation, fell one spot, and...
How USMNT Reduced A Fiery Mexican Side To Ashes
The United States of America are going to the 2014 World Cup. In the end, it was never in doubt. And in the end, how they booked their ticket to Brazil was perfect, poetic. The Americans clinched at home, in a storied, claustrophobic stadium in front of a raucous, unapologetically and overwhelmingly...
The USMNT Dances, Sings, And Chugs Beer After Victory Over Mexico
After clinching a World Cup berth with a 2-0 victory over Mexico, the USMNT came back out onto the field for some good old-fashioned celebrating, America style....
<em>Dos A Cero</em>: How Columbus Became Home To A Great U.S. Soccer Tradition
An hour after the final whistle, as Honduras hung on for a tie and clinched a World Cup berth for the USMNT, the Americans spilled out of the locker room and back onto the pitch to celebrate. The fans chanted "Clint missed on purpose," and Dempsey smiled and danced. Maybe he did. This is Columbus, a...
Stakes Are High In Tonight's USMNT Match Against Mexico
After 12 straight wins, which included improbable triumphs against world powers like Germany and Bosnia and dominant victories against all comers during the CONCACAF Gold Cup, the USMNT finally lost on Friday, 3-1, in a World Cup qualifier away to Costa Rica. Costa Rica, for some reason still seethi...
Why Lionel Messi Is Even Better Than You Think
One of the key findings of The Numbers Game: Why Everything You Know About Soccer Is Wrong is that soccer, more than any other team sport, is a weak link game: matches are won and lost, and championships and relegation are secured, by the genius and quality of a club's superstars, but even more so b...
Dog Is Adorable Idiot On The Field, Scores Goal
This comes to us from Argentina, proving just how overrated Messi is. Anyone can score with the right players setting you up....
Chinese Team Works Together On Slapstick Own Goal
Via Dirty Tackle, the saddest and funniest own goal we've seen in a long time....
This Dive Is Why Matt Besler Is Suspended For The Mexico Match
USMNT defender Matt Besler was carrying a yellow into Friday's World Cup qualifier against Costa Rica. One more, and he'd have to sit out the next match. This is how he "earned" it....