Soccer Page 358 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

80 Bucks Will Buy You A Chance To Name A British Soccer Stadium After Your Penis
Or your cat. Or your shoes. Or pretty much whatever you want. Bath City FC, of the Blue Square Premier League, is raffling off naming rights to its stadium, with almost no restrictions. All you need is £50, which converts to about $80. Those who enter will also receive four tickets to the April 9 ma...

Brazilian Soccer Team Locks Player In Hotel To Get Him To Lose Weight
Corinthians striker Adriano, who formerly played for Inter Milan, has really let himself go since having surgery on his Achilles last year. Until further notice, he'll only be allowed to eat what team doctors give him. [Guardian]...

Houston Dynamo Players Arrested After Fight With Off-Duty Cop Say Racism Was A Factor
Houston Dynamo players Tyler Deric and Warren Creavalle were arrested this weekend after a dust-up with an off-duty cop working security at a bar. From Deric's attorney: "Mr. Deric was with other soccer players, some who were African-Americans. The club did not want them coming in . . . He's not gui...

<em>Discover Wisconsin</em> And Other Things Your Fox Affiliate Is Showing Instead Of Soccer
There are 185 Fox affiliates in the United States, and most of them are showing today's heavily-hyped English Premier League match between Chelsea and Manchester United live. More than 20, however, are not. Here's what they chose to air instead....

Clint Dempsey Has Issued His Immediate Rebuttal To Landon Donovan's Rebuttal
Five minutes after we published this paean to Landon Donovan's performance thus far in the Premiership, Clint Dempsey responded with a strike that broke the gridlock and gave Fulham a 1-0 edge on West Bromwich Albion. It's Dempsey's seventh goal in the last three matches at Fulham's home Craven Co...

Landon Donovan Offers A Rebuttal To Clint Dempsey Fans Worldwide
From now until the end of the season, we'll be posting a number of clips from the previous weekend's English Premier League games. If there's a goal, save, dive, lip-read profanity, or hocked sputum we should know about, drop us a line at [email protected]. (You might also enjoy our better-late-than...

Here's Aston Villa's Ridiculous Own Goal That Put QPR Up 2-0
It's been another mediocre season for Aston Villa, and no play may characterize the struggles of the claret and blue squad than this play, in which Stephen Warnock cleanly lands a header directly into his own net. Villa landed a goal of their own late in the first half to cut QPR's advantage to 2-...

At Least Eight 40 70 People Killed After Egyptian Soccer Fans Storm Pitch (UPDATE)
Supporters of Egyptian side Al Masry invaded the field after today's 3-1 win over Al Ahly in Port Said, attacking Al Ahly players and security personnel. Al Jazeera is reporting that eight people have been killed and more than 60 injured. [via 101 Great Goals]...

Dan Borislow Told His Players To Call Him "Daddy," And Other Tales From A Miserable MagicJack Locker Room
We've told you all about Dan Borislow, the renegade owner who managed to bring down the whole of Women's Professional Soccer. His abusive, racist, sexist emails. His "Batmobile-like motorcycle." His complete inability to run a team, and his total unwillingness to market it....

Here's A Nifty Little Assist From An Egyptian Soccer Match Today
In today's Egyptian soccer showdown, Haras El-Hodood bested El Ettehad El Sakandary 1-0 on a this goal from Ahmad Hassan Mekki. But it was the trickery-fueled assist from Mohamed Tarek that truly bears mention....

A Madman Handcuffed Himself To The Goal During The Everton-Manchester City Match
We've no clue the protest this man is engineering (his t-shirt says something about Irish airline Ryanair) but the Everton-Man City match was put on hold for about five minutes as police attempted to unchain this hooligan from the goal. It's a good thing he chose the opposite end from Tim Howard;...

WPS Owners Vote To Cancel 2012 Season
Due to an ongoing legal war against rebellious owner Dan Borislow, and the fact that it's hemorrhaging money, Women's Professional Soccer has informed players that the 2012 season has been canceled. A sad day for WPS fans everywhere. [National Soccer Wire]...

Liverpool And Manchester United Fans Engage In "A Good Bit Of Banter" Including Miming Like A Monkey
Classic rivals Liverpool and Manchester United faced off yesterday with Liverpool coming out victorious. However, the story of the game would not be the play on the pitch, but rather the Liverpool fan monkeying around in the stands. The picture above made the rounds on Twitter during the match and ...

The US Women Won Two Games 27-0, And It Did Not Impress Brandi Chastain, So Hope Solo Fought Back
The US shredded its opponents in CONCACAF women's soccer Olympic qualifiers this week—14-0 over the Dominicans, 13-0 over Guatemala, and 4-0 over Mexico—but Brandi Chastain, the lady who's famous for this, was not impressed. She called the games for Universal Sports Network (it's not the one formerl...

What Do Premier League Stars Read When They're Not Busy Not Reading?
It's time for the 2012 Premier League Reading Stars program, in which England's schoolkids are encouraged to read by professional athletes pretending to love books. To kick off the program, 20 Premier Leaguers—one from each club—were asked to name their favorite adult and children's books. The resul...

This Week In Great Quotes Linking Soccer Injuries To Sexual Frequency
"The girlfriend of German-Ghanaian footballer Kevin Prince Boateng has offered Italian media an unusual explanation for his recent thigh strain: the 24-year-old AC Milan midfielder loves sex too much. 'He's always [injured and unable to play] because we have sex seven to ten times a week,' model a...

Messi's Being Messi Again, And Dani Alves Has A Nuke-Powered Boot
Barcelona holds a 4-3 aggregate edge in the second half of their return trip to Real Madrid in the Copa del Rey, thanks to the illusionist Lionel Messi setting up Pedro for the initial score and then a blistering strike by Dani Alves off a free kick rebound. The goals set up a 4-1 aggregate edge ...

Clint Dempsey Is Better At Soccer Than You, And Every Other American Ever
From now until the end of the season, we'll be posting a number of clips from the previous weekend's English Premier League games. If there's a goal, save, dive, lip-read profanity, or hocked sputum we should know about, drop us a line at [email protected]. (You might also enjoy our better-late-than...

Lionel Messi's Hat Trick-Finishing Goal Brought Announcer Ray Hudson To Orgasm
Barcelona spanked Málaga 4-1 today in La Liga, and the world's best soccer player Lionel Messi took over as Spain's leading scorer on the season with this hat trick-finishing goal. It sent commentator Ray Hudson into an even more over-the-top frenzy than usual, from his cats-mating shriek to his e...

<em>Corky Romano</em> And The Other Things Your Fox Affiliate Is Showing Instead Of Soccer
Fox is understandably proud of their experiment this morning to show English Premier League soccer live on U.S. broadcast TV for the first time. Yet it seems Fox affiliates aren't so excited, as 23 of Fox's 185 stations decided to air something else. Here's the list of cities where you can't see Ar...