ESPN Article Analogizes Soccer Team To A Teenage Virgin And A Libidinous Rod Stewart

At first, there doesn't seem to be anything all that special about this article on ESPN's Soccernet. It's not much more than a standard game recap, until you get to this part:

In the first-half, Tottenham resembled a male teenage virgin who has a girl in the palm of his hand but can't summon the courage or conviction to make the killer move that will see them over the line.

Then, one goal later and Spurs are suddenly notching them up like an in-prime Rod Stewart once racked up blondes.

Um, gross. It's bad enough when a soccer article forces the reader to think about a teenage virgin having sex, but inserting the image of this guy humping a cavalcade of blondes into our brains is just unnecessarily cruel.

And who the hell makes Rod Stewart references anymore? Who even still thinks about Rod Stewart, let alone the prodigious number of ladies that he used to bed? If you're going to mix pop culture and sports, try to pick something that is at least somewhat culturally relevant. It's not like the bar is set all that high these days.

h/t Andrew

[ ESPN]