2 Page 440 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
No White Person Has Ever Broken 10 Seconds in the 100 Meters
I thought 2008 would be our year. I really did. After all, if a black man can be elected President (hopefully), then a white person could break 10 seconds, right? But the 100 meters came and went and once more the fastest white man in the history of the universe remains some guy named Marian Woroni...
College Football Previews: #11 Auburn
We're rolling through the top 25 and later this afternoon we'll finally crack into the top ten. Until then enjoy the melodic stylings of 2003 Auburn grad Brian J. Stultz as he brings down the hammer on the Tide, raises the profile of apostrophized greatness that is Sen'Derrick Marks, and defends To...
British Gold Medalist Gets Plastered, Rolls Over a Taxi Bonnet in Celebration
Bradley Wiggins, a double gold medalist in cycling, is the culprit. It's things like this that make people mistakenly believe the British can't handle their alcohol. Or have drinking problems. Wiggins was out celebrating in London House—which is evidently an area of Beijing designed to honor the 20...
Amanda Beard Does Not Want To See What's Inside Michael Phelps' Speedos
Just days after finding out Lindsay Lohan and apparently half the European runway model population would like to possibly make him their boyfriend, Michael Phelps earned a little lesson in humility this week thanks to oft-nude swimmer Amanda Beard. Beard, appearing on a radio show based in Phoneix, ...
College Football Previews: #13 Kansas
We're rolling through the college football top 25. Today we get things started with a photoshopped Mark Mangino. Can things get any better for Kansans? The season countdown has entered single digits. We're just nine days away from the glory that is Vanderbilt @ Miami-Ohio. Today's Kansas preview is...
College Football Previews: #14 Texas Tech
Today's Texas Tech preview of pirate head coach Mike Leach is brought to you by Stephen Hagen. He's a Texas Tech alum and he hates A&M with unmitigated fury. So with only ten days until kickoff, enjoy his preview. Also, again, I'd like to apologize to all the people who wrote in requesting to do a p...
CBS Accidentally Leaks College Football Television Schedule?
I've gotten this link from several people but am still working to confirm its accuracy. Typically CBS doesn't announce which game they're covering until about ten days before the game would kick off. Which always makes planning travel and hotels and the like difficult. But allegedly, due to a compu...
BOCOG Vice President Wang Wei Wants You to Stop Bothering Him
The Olympics are in full-swing and they're in China, so, you know, it should be a rather fascinating world event, if you're into fascinating world events. And we are proud to welcome back our Deadspin Beijing Bureau, our own trio of correspondents living in China and reporting on everything they see...
Welcome To The Post-Phelps Malaise
Late Saturday night Michael Phelps finally accomplished the impossible-turned-inevitable: 8 gold medals, setting hearts aflutter and cementing his legacy as an Olympic icon destined for corporate millions, milk mustaches, and being an overexposed special guest on NBC shows for the rest of his life. ...
Who's You Haddadi? Iranian Basketballer Banned From NBA
If any of you pro basketball fans were watching Iran play in the Olympics and thought to yourself that Hamed Haddadi might be a good addition to your team, you can put those dreams to bed. Haddadi, who has averaged 16 points in four games in Beijing, has been advised that the NBA office has forbidde...
The Communists And Trendy AIDS Campaigns Might Be Onto Something
Amid all the allegations of scoring bias that seem to come out of these (and every other) Olympic Games, there may be an even simpler controversy involving the colors on an athlete's uniform. A study from a German university is indicating that teams and athletes that wear red are actually the benefa...
Beijing Does Not Lend Itself To Getting Stinky On One's Hangdown
Numbers are in from Beijing that paint this Olympiad's cadre of athletes as a prudish lot. I suppose it's one thing to compete in that communist land without taking any sort of stance on human rights, Darfur, or the environment. But that's clearly their prerogative, and one that we can generally und...
May-Treanor And Walsh Are Like A Shark Riding On An Elephant's Back, Trampling And Eating Everything They See
Beach volleyball speaks to me about the innovative nature of America. Here we have a spinoff sport, where two people are doing the same work originally done by six, and doing it on arguably the slowest surface one could find in any sport. And the juggernaut that is Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh ...
Phelps Achieves Perfection With a Little Help From His Friends
Michael Phelps has just made history by eclipsing Mark Spitz's record of seven gold medals in a single Olympics with a win in the 4x100 medley relay in Beijing. Phelps maintained a small lead swimming the butterfly in the race's third leg and once again it was Jason Lezak holding off the opposition ...
Those Chinese Certainly Know How To Conduct A Job Search
It's been both enjoyable and sad to see some of the stories coming out of Beijing. It's been seemingly one unpleasant discovery after another, between the poor girl who was deemed unpretty enough to sing the Chinese national anthem and the faux ethnic kids around the flag during opening ceremonies. ...
USA Basketball Beat Spain By 37 With Perimeter Shooting, Superior Apparel
The United States' And 1 Mix Tape Tour quest for their first gold medal in basketball in eight years claimed another victim this morning. America shot 12-of-25 from behind the freaking arc as Spain was blown out, 119-82. Eight Americans scored in double-digits as Spain was held to just 39 percent sh...
Gay Can't Come Up With Burst In Heat, Denied Shot At Gold
By now you've almost certainly realized that American sprinter and butt-end of sophomoric humor (hehe, butt) Tyson Gay didn't even qualify for the final in the 100-meter (328 feet) dash, which was won in record-breaking fashion by Jamaica's Usain Bolt. Two great last names, each respectively illustr...
Amid Protest, Use Of Instant Replay, Phelps Wins 7th Gold
Michael Phelps, arguably the face of the United States contingent in these Beijing games, is seven-for-seven. Last night, he came from behind in the 100-meter (328 feet) butterfly, edging out Serbia's Milorad Cavic by 1/100th of a second. It appeared to some that Cavic had beaten Phelps to the wall,...
College Football Previews: #17 BYU
BYU clocks in at #17 in our college football previews. Much thanks go out to all of you who offered to preview BYU earlier this week. The most rapid responder was CGB who not only writes using his initials but also blogs at CollegeGameBalls.com. By god, the initials match the blog. What a coinciden...
China: The Smog-Filled Land Where Nothing Is Real
In case you hadn't heard, all of those spittle-mustachioed grumblings from Bela Karolyi about the ages of the gold-medal winning Chinese gymnastics team may just not be the embittered rants from a slimy old man. He Kexin, "16"-year-old uneven bars specialist is reportedly not of competitive age, th...