a Page 7482 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Joe Buck Will Slay You
You guys getting pumped for HBO's Joe Buck Dry Humor And Sporting Chit-Chat Hour? No? How about if I told you the topic of the first show? "Celebrities in Sports — Fans blur the line between celebrities and atheletes." Sic!...

Tony Parker Needs New Defensive Help
Like many rich people, Tony Parker's house is filled with valuable commodities. Or it was, until the security guard hired to protect said valuables decided to steal some and sell them on Craigslist instead....

A Lesson In How Not To Spin, Courtesy Of The Florida Gators
Twenty-four Florida Gators have been arrested since 2005, a number of such apparent talismanic significance that the Orlando Sentinel decided to publish a "database." The school, understandably peeved, responded with a master class in how not to respond....

Nicklas Lidstrom's Busted Ballsack And Other Tales Of NHL Woe
If Detroit captain Nicklas Lidstrom looked a little sluggish at times during this Stanley Cup Finals, he has a very, very, very good excuse. He suffered a "nearly catastrophic" testicle injury in the Conference Finals. Now how do you feel?...

The Unfortunate Ambushing Of Jerod Morris' Raul Ibanez Post
The "acceptance" of sports bloggers took a nasty nosedive yesterday afternoon when Jerod Morris of Midwest Sports Fans was thrown into the Outside The Lines sausage maker for a little mainstream media, Inc. beat down....

Now Batting Cleanup For Your Atlanta Braves: Barbaro
He is risen. Barbaro Canizares is his name. The Braves just called him up from Triple-A Gwinnett, and he's hitting behind Chipper Jones at this very moment. At the plate, he is, by all accounts, a stud....

Steve Nash Auditions For His Next Job
No one knows how many miles Steve Nash has left on his little Canadian legs, but if he's looking to break into the late-night TV comedy game, his first test for his second career went fairly well....

ESPN The Magazine Takes The Swimsuit Issue To A Nuder Level
For its Oct. 19 issue, it's "approaching athletes about posing au naturel, albeit artfully covered or positioned. [Editor-in-chief Gary Belsky] adds the question is whether he can pull off the risqué issue without coming off as a 'laddie' magazine." [USAT]...

Deadspin I-Team: What Exactly Is Johnny Damon Trying To Communicate Here?
This is how Johnny Damon chose to celebrate teammate Nick Swisher's home run on Monday against the Rays. We've seen this before, of course. Still, the mystery remains: What ever could this gesture mean? The I-Team is on the case....

Usain Bolt Shows Off His Most Treasured Keepsake From Beijing
The world's fastest man arrived in Canada wearing a T-shirt with ancient Chinese letters spelling out a thoroughly modern message. I don't think they draped that around his neck on the Olympic podium. [Fotoglif via Splash News]...

A Broken Thumb, Another Black Eye, And Our First Wiffle Ball Failure
A good portion of Americans join softball leagues this time of the year. Many do it for the social aspect alone, which leaves many teams stockpiled with players who are ridiculously awful...

Alabama Football Forced To Give Up Wins
Alabama's football program will be placed on probation today and be forced to vacate at least 10 (and as many as 21) wins from the 2005-07 season. That ... hurts?...

Tim Donaghy Has Not Been Enjoying Prison (UPDATED)
Disgraced referee Tim Donaghy will be released from prison next week and not a moment too soon. A press release says that while in the slammer he nearly had his legs broken by a New York mobster. (Update below.)...

If The Nationals Lose But No One Is Around To See It, Do They Still Lose?
Nationals Park looked slightly emptier than usual last night, with less than 100 fans sticking around to weather a two-hour ninth inning rain delay. But boy, did they get a good fireworks show afterward — oh, wait. [Washington Post]...

Driver Of Nick Adenhart's Car Was Also Drunk
A toxicology report on Courtney Stewart, the young woman who was killed along with Angels pitcher Nick Adenhart in an April car crash, reveals that Stewart—who was behind the wheel of Adenhart's car—was legally drunk at the time....

No One Is Reading The A-Rod Book
This is just cold: "As of Wednesday afternoon, the book ranked No. 2,904 on Amazon.com, where even James Frey's discredited memoir A Million Little Pieces- at 1,776 - is outselling it." Another "W" for Howard Rubenstein! [USA Today]...

Cristiano Ronaldo Will Also Accept Large Piles Of Real Madrid's Cash
Just days after Kaka broke the world transfer record by going from AC Milan to Real Madrid, his new squad plunked down another $131 million to take Cristiano Ronaldo away from Manchester United. They are—how you say?—living large....

Evgeni Malkin Is Here To Steal Your Girlfriend (Updated Update)
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Well, At Least He'll Be Able To Tell People He Was Coach Of The Year...
Mike Brown, the Cleveland Cavaliers dapper head coach, may have spent his last season with Lebron James. Again, blame this on Joe Posnanski. [ProBasketballNews]...

Adam Morrison Spotted Lurking The Sidelines In My Easter Outfit; Free Beer For Readers
Well, this was a pleasant surprise from last night. Adam Morrison wanders into the huddle, sporting his G.I. Jane haircut and with the delightfully dim expression that's plagued most of his NBA career to this point....