a Page 7481 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Chad Ochocinco Just Got Paid $210K To Get Thrown Off A Bull In 1.5 Seconds (Updated)
Here's video of the football player formerly known as Chad Johnson practicing the art of leaving the chute on the back of a bull. Of course, he's practicing on the back of a horse, and a horse that kind of ambles instead of bucks. That could explain, in part, why he only lasted 1.5 seconds on bull...

If Watching White Dudes Trying To Dance In Unison Is Your Thing, This Is The Video For You
The highlight of this video, which would never have been made if not for the mental defect which convinces most baseball players they're totally awesome and funny and kings of the world, comes at the 2:30-2:34. Because slo-mo footage of toast actually is awesome....

Your NHL Playoffs Open Thread
Depending upon when you read this, game one of the Eastern Conference Finals is just about to start, has already done so or did so long ago. Which means you either have no idea, are finding out or long ago learned whether the Tampa Bay Lightning or Boston Bruins are leading the series. Tense action...

We Are All Dave McKenna XCIX
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets got....

Lionel Messi Got A Stern Talking-To For Breaking An Airplane Wall (With Video)
It's all fun and games until a bunch of dudes celebrating their La Liga title on a plane take it one step too far. Specifically, hitting the wall of said plane so hard that a panel near the emergency exit falls off. Even more specifically, when the person doing the hitting is Lionel Messi of F.C. B...

ESPN: It's "Inappropriate For Us To Comment" On ESPN Analyst Matthew Barnaby's "Domestic Incident" Arrest
According to a story posted on ESPN.com just after 2:30 p.m. eastern today, ESPN the network declined comment on "ESPN analyst and former NHL veteran" Matthew Barnaby spending the night in jail, as mentioned in a morning post here....

A Walk-On Who Made the Team Wants You to Know What It Really Means
Alex Howell was the only freshman in the tunnel that Saturday, his chinstrap so tight it fused his jaw shut, 89,000 people packed into to the last row at Auburn's Jordan-Hare Stadium. Earlier in the week the graduate assistant… [Kotaku] ...

Wayne Rooney Decided To Send A Message With Chest Hair Today
After his side clinched a record 19th English Premier League title with 1-1 draw vs. the Blackburn Rovers, cheeky Manchester United star Wayne Rooney simply posted, "Champions http://yfrog.com/h2cjceij."...

Let's Watch Some Minor-League Yankees Fight Some Minor-League Red Sox
Yo, this is what a baseball bench-clearing brawl should look like. People getting totally decked. And full-out diving to inflict some fist pain. And attempted Jersey curb sandwiches (sans curb). As explained by SoxAndDawgs:...

Here's Video Of A Field-Hopping Fan Eluding Astros Security
What's being dubbed "The Great Fan Escape" went down in the bottom of the ninth inning as Houston Astro Carlos Lee was trying to tie the game against the Mets. Both Lee and on-field security charged with keeping the Minute Maid Park field invader-free failed to do so....

Today In Intra-Media Twitter Spats
Jason Whitlock of FoxSports.com (@whitlockjason) started it with a Tweet stating, "NFL media, which I am one, scared lockout is damaging their profile. They're panicking and trying to create hysteria (clicks). Too invested." Pro Football Talk's Mike Florio (@profootballtalk) wasn't about to let tha...

Presenting Manchester City's FA Cup Winning Goal
A blistering strike by Yaya Toure (aka Toure Yaya) which got past Stoke City goalkeeper Thomas Sorensen in the 74th minute of today's FA Cup final won Manchester City its first trophy in 35 years. They were happy....

Here's Video Of A Remarkable Goal At Last Night's World Hockey Championships
Do you believe in Finnish dudes being able to carry a puck on their stick and put it past a Russian goalkeeper to advance to the finals of an international hockey tournament? Well, Mikael Granlund is your Eruzione, if Eruzione traded in pure talent and not just moxie....

The Grizzlies Were Prince To The Thunder's Morris Day Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 14, the day after a homeless Bulgarian man beheaded an elderly British woman in a Spanish supermarket, walked away "clutching the head by its hair, leaving a trail of blood dripping to the ground," but got caught after an Italian motorcyclist threw a helmet at his face....

This Was A Funny Way For Doc Gooden To Confirm That He Is Really On Twitter
For all you doubters out there, it's true: Dwight "Doc" Gooden, the former Mets pitcher and Cy Young Winner who is headed to Celebrity Rehab, is officially on Twitter. His account, @DocGooden16, has not yet received a crucial "verified" check, but after today, we think Twitter should replace that ma...

Blogger Finds Sensitive NYPD Counterterrorism Documents In the Trash
Hey, terrorists! If you considering blowing up New York but were worried about the NYPD's crack anti-terrorism team foiling your plot, don't worry: Here's what they're looking for. A blogger just found their plans in the trash. [Gawker]...

The Week In Deadspin
A selection of stories from the week we hit the bad kind of Derby Day trifecta....

Sepp Blatter Says FIFA Will "Be Sucked Into A Black Hole" If Sepp Blatter Is Not Reelected FIFA President
Sepp Blatter, the international dictator disguised as FIFA president, wrote a letter to Italy's La Gazzetta dello Sport this week to warn the world that a failure to reelect him to a fourth term on the June 1 vote "could cause a tectonic movement with irreversible damage." Let's defer to him to set ...

Goalkeeper Gets His Angles Completely Right To Fool Striker
Quite what the goalkeeper in this clip was up to is anybody's guess — but it seemed to work. The La Paz stopper is so wrong he's right as he forces San Jose striker Maxi Andrade to smash the ball into the post....

We Are All Dave McKenna XCVIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit takes a torpedo to the ammunition hold....