a Page 7719 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
OMG LT Is Down (Maybe)! Begin Looting Now!
Your Sunday morning NFL headlines to adjust your line... up of food for: • LaDainian Tomlinson's owie toe may keep him off the field (or, you know, not) for the Chargers' attempt to topple Denver down to sea level. Regardless, we require six in-depth profiles of his backups by Monday morning. After ...
For Your Viewing Pleasure: Shall We Play a Game?
• 1:00 — NFL: Oakland @ Kansas City [CBS] — This is a National Fucking Football League game where one head coach may be playing for his job ... in week two. Hopefully I will not get fired after day two. • 1:00 — NFL: Bears @ Carolina [FOX] — Get to know Matt Forte and Kyle Orton. Here's the link to ...
Morning Blogdome: They May Be Blind, But They're Tough
• They'd Kick My Ass, For Sure. Jaiyo!: Blind Judo is an event at the Paralymic games in Beijing. With video![NYTimes Rings] • Gee Whiz, She's Pretty: I'm required by contract to link you to these tailgating photos including Erin Andrews. [Busted Coverage] • No, You Do The Dishes!: Sidney Crosby is ...
Charlie Weis Tears Two Ligaments in Knee While Simply Standing Around
Charlie Weis got Theismen'd yesterday during the Notre Dame v. Michigan game. Did the fact that he was standing on the sidelines and not actually on the field make the rotund coach feel any more embarrassed? Heck no! After the game, Weis found out he tore two ligaments in his knee and he seemed rath...
Ike Wreaks Havoc With Baseball Playoff Races, Scheduling
The NFL isn’t the only league effected by that bastard Ike as the Astros and Major League Baseball have agreed to move two of Houston’s canceled home games that were scheduled against the Cubs this weekend to a “neutral” site in Milwaukee. Eddie Wade’s Astros have been on fire over the past three we...
Michael Phelps Outshone By Tina Fey in Quest for Comedic Gold
When Michael Phelps took center stage in Beijing, he dominated the competition in the pool over and over. His ability to step up at the Olympics, on the biggest stage of his sport, was unprecedented. But when he took the stage last night in New York as host of NBC’s Saturday Night Live, it was clear...
Nuts v. Contraceptives: #5 Ohio State-#1 USC
Actually, the Southern California Trojans have already won this game by 24 points, but the NCAA by-laws dictate they have to go ahead and play the game anyway. Everybody important is at the game, except you. And, well, me. So let's get through this impending Buckeyes massacre together, shall we? Oh,...
Guzman-Campbell Reportedly Called Off
Boxingscene.com is reporting that tonight's Showtime main event between Nate Campbell and Joan Guzman has been called off. Earlier Guzman failed to make the 135 pound weight limit, leading to reports that the two would fight without the Campbell's titles at stake. What's especially odd about the sit...
Casamayor and Marquez Clash For the Title, Guzman Fails to Make Weight
For the second straight Saturday night the spotlight shines on the always entertaining lightweight division with what was supposed to be a pair of title fights. Unfortunately Joan Guzman was unable to make weight in his quest to unseat Nate Campbell. The two will still headline Showtime's impressiv...
Hugh Johnson IV: Hugh Can't Mess With the Bulldogs
South Carolina put up a tremendous fight and gave us the exciting college football we all hope for early in September. No. 2 ranked Georgia had the ball bounce their way throughout the day, literally in the end zone at one point, but SC never quit. A nice two minute drill put together by Chris Smell...
To Watch Tonight: Now That You're Gone (to Watch Television)
What to watch while questioning the relevance of the 1980s yet again... • College Football: Ohio State at USC (8 pm ET) [ABC] - We received a link today asking why the Buckeyes were hated so much because the line shows them to be rather large underdogs, suggesting various conspiracy theories. Here's...
Mom Allegedly Steals Daughter's Identity, Becomes 15-Year-Old Cheerleader
First, a note: GARRETT GUZMAN, YOU STAY RIGHT OUT OF THIS POST, MISTER. With that out of the way, let's discuss Miss Wendy Brown of Green Bay, WI. Her 15-year-old daughter lives with Wendy's own mother in Nevada for reasons that will readily become apparent. In an attempt to reclaim her own lost you...
Nationals Minor-Leaguer Allegedly Corrupts Youth in the Back of His Car
This charming young fellow is 25-year-old Garrett Guzman. He enjoys long fly balls out of the park, walking to first base, piña coladas, and a per diem over $25. (Or so we assume. He is, after all, a minor-leaguer in the Washington Nationals system, playing in Harrisburg, PA.) We have also received ...
Hugh Johnson III: It's a Penis Joke, See
In order for Penn State fans to really view their dominance today of Syracuse as a moral victory, the "Nittaly Lions'" point differential must be greater than the number of years JoePa has been head ball coach in Happy Valley. In legit football action, South Carolina is giving Georgia a real fight. ...
Afternoon Blogdome: Jimmy Played Pretty Good
• Jimmy Clausen likes Jimmy: "Jimmy likes the buzz of the big game. Michigan or no Michigan, Jimmy likes the roar of the home crowd. Jimmy wishes the game was starting right now." [Sports Hernia] • Even Maryland Fans Were Shocked They Won Today: "Da'Rel Scott looks like a star. He's a strong runner ...
Murderball's Back, Baby! (Watch Your Toes)
One U.S. team in Beijing came into these Games with all the pressure in the world on them to succeed after an embarrassing bronze medal in a sport the United States normally dominates. Yes, they laid the wood to the Chinese team in their first match, but they have a long way to go towards the mythic...
Liverpool Stuns Manchester, Chelsea Wins Billionaire Boys Club Derby
Rafa Benitez has finally secured his first triumph over Manchester United in over six years with Liverpool's 2-1 victory this morning at Anfield. Despite surrendering an early goal, and playing without Fernando Torres, the home side pulled off the unexpected result on Ryan Babel's 77th minute game ...
Cal's Jahvid Best Loses His Lunch
The early games have been rather boring this afternoon but California's Jahvid Best is having considerably less fun than you are today. As Jamie Mottram put it, "Maryland is beating the puke out of Cal." Literally....
Why Are There So Many Posts About Hugh?
Maryland is running all over the 23rd ranked Cal Bears. So far we've learned that Jim Henson is a former Terp and that Cal isn't very good. Be sure to send your brilliant observations to "The Hugh Johnson" via AIM. So a cal wide receiver just got knocked out basically and threw up his green Gatorade...
Mad Physicist Analyzes Effects of Usain Bolt's Olympic Showboating, Carl Lewis Thinks It's Juicy
Usain Bolt is the fastest man in the world. He made the competition look silly during the 100-meter finals in Beijing and cruised so easily to victory that he was celebrating before the race was even over. Wondering how sick the speedy Jamaican's time could have been had he given it 100 percent thr...