For Your Viewing Pleasure: Shall We Play a Game?

• 1:00 — NFL: Oakland @ Kansas City [CBS] — This is a National Fucking Football League game where one head coach may be playing for his job ... in week two. Hopefully I will not get fired after day two. • 1:00 — NFL: Bears @ Carolina [FOX] — Get to know Matt Forte and Kyle Orton. Here's the link to the NFL broadcasting distribution maps. • 1:30 — MLB: Toronto Blue Jays @ Boston Red Sox [TBS] — At least it's not the Yankees. • 2:00 — Bowling: US Women's Open [ESPN] — Bowling with the ladies is more romantic when it's in Romeoville, Ill. • In Progress — Movie: WarGames [AMC] — How about Global Thermonuclear War. • 3:00 — Movie: My Cousin Vinny [A&E] — Any movie that features Joe Pesci in flashy suits is alright in my book. While Marisa Tomei won an Oscar for her performance, it's not as memorable as the one she gives in Before the Devil Knows You're Dead. Whoa. • 4:00 — NFL: New England @ NY Jets [CBS] — Dilemma: Do you cheer for Cassel even though he's on the Pats or for the Gunslinger? At least we can hope for Belichick and Mangini to kill each other.