a Page 7764 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Crisis Averted
You can rest easy, casual male tennis fans still reeling from the Ivanovic upset (C.M.T.F.S.R.F.T.I.U.s): Elena Dementieva and Jelena Jankovic are through to the next round of the U.S. Open. Dementieva easily advanced in straight sets over Anne Keothavang of...England? Really? Seems kind of Dutch t...

Mets Solidify Position for Upcoming September Collapse
Forgive New York fans for celebrating just a bit harder than usual last night. After all, they are coming off a big win on the last Friday before the month-that-shall-not-be-named. Carlos Beltran's dramatic grand slam put his team up by three on the Marlins heading into the bottom of the ninth. The ...

Gustav Evacuees Prompt LSU To Bump Kickoff Up To 11 AM ET
For those of you that thought our first college football Saturday couldn't start soon enough, you're in luck. That is, unless you live near the Gulf Coast, in which case you're probably running for your life from Hurricane Gustav. The Class 3 hurricane is expected to hit the Gulf Coast sometime Mon...

Week In Review: You Know, Sarah Palin Was Once A Budding Hannah Storm
So can somebody out there dig up some footage of "presumptive" GOP VP Sarah Palin in her days as a fledgling sports reporter in Anchorage? Does that footage even exist or did it melt inside some igloo? This is, though, an interesting choice. Kind of takes the teary-eyed sparkle off of Obama's Victor...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you get home via the awesome power of beer ... • Boxing: Champion Matt Godfrey vs. Emmanuel Nwodo, in Uncasville, Conn. (9 p.m., ET). Title Wave engulfs Mohegan Sun Arena. [ESPN2] • College football: Temple at Army (7 p.m., ET) [ESPN Classic]; Southern Methodist at Rice (8 p.m., ...

You know she has that Scooby-Doo tongue.
You see I don't, I don't work with any exact boundaries of the law because I wasn't consulted when the god damn laws were made. No, instead nameless, faceless politicians, the so called protectors of the moral majority decide what is right and what is wrong. I mean come on. I govern my life around m...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Week
ESPN scoured its message boards to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ... • "LPGA's intentions are good, but suspending players and an 'English-only' rule isn't the way." — SheldonOvertonPrevious ESPN Featured Commentg of the Week, plus a Feat...

Afternoon Blogdome: He's Officially, Legally Insane Now
• Chad Johnson has left the planet: Apparently, this is for real. "I just called the Broward County (Fla.) Court Clerk and Chad Johnson is no longer. Officially, legally, yesterday, his name was changed to Chad Ocho Cinco." [LOTD] • Stupid hurricanes: "The LSU Appalachian State football game is now ...

U.S. Open Update: Ivanovic Out, But Hot Girlfriend Boxes Intact
Dylan Stableford writes occasionally about tennis for Deadspin. It's called "Droppin' Deuce With Dylan Stableford." This week, he's at the U.S. Open, watching tennis and taking creepy pictures of Brooklyn Decker from afar. Heading into the first weekend of the Flushing fortnight, we've lost one sult...

Cops Tell Different Tale About Fan Who Was Ejected Over "God Bless America"
The above video is of Yankee Stadium God-dismissing, anti-American Brad Campeau Laurion who enlightened us (and, seemingly, hundreds of other media outlets) about being forcibly escorted out of Yankee Stadium Tuesday night after he tried to go to the bathroom during the traditional 7th-inning rendi...

GTGs Are Gangsta, In A J.C. Penny Back-To-School-Sale Kind Of Way
If Georgia Tech goes on to football greatness this year they can thank two things: the new triple option offense, and the GTGs; that campus hip hop duo of DBay and Swaff who are taking the ACC by storm. Kind of. Check out their phat beatz following the the jump. I can just see DBay, the fat one, doi...

Arizona State's $8.4 million Dennis Dome Destroyed in 45 Minute Storm
Pitchfork Nation brought us our Arizona State preview. Now, they bring us a first hand report of the storm that completely destroyed the brand new indoor practice football practice facility at Arizona State. The Dennis dome is pictured above in happier times. When it was still standing. ...

NFL Season Preview: Tennessee Titans
We're less than two weeks away from the start of the NFL season, so it's time to start the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Today: The Tennessee T...

Morning Blogdome: No, This Is Not Me
• I would've gone with a Mike Zordich jersey: "I doubt anyone’s going to waste their time asking someone into sports to “act their age,” but for the sake of decency could you shoot for something a little higher than five?" [Viceland] • The middle finger just means he hopes he's okay: "Here is photo ...

Kid Who Fell Onto Field Further Traumatized By Dopey Matt Lauer Interview
It pays to be a klutz in Philadelphia: The kid who tumbled from the stands onto the warning track at Citizens Bank Ballpark on Thursday woke up the next day to new-found celebrity, collecting a bunch of Phillies memorabilia, game tickets and a trip to New York for an interview on the Today Show. The...

LenDale White Thinks Ohio State Sucks
Fortunately for White, unlike former USC teammate Carson Palmer—who told an LA radio station he hated Ohio State and their fans and then was forced to issue an apology— he plays in Tennessee. Which means he could probably run for Governor and be elected on the "Ohio State Sucks" platform. So don't ...

Stephen A. Smith Thinks Your Fantasy Football League Could Use A Little Color
ESPN's resident wayward loudmouth Stephen A. Smith hunt-and-pecked his way through another magazine column this week, and took on fantasy football and its overwhelming whiteness. Miraculously, SAS does manage to dig up an MIT sociological study (actually it's a Fantasy Sports Trade Association's "st...

Yes We Can ... Get Out Quicker Through This Exit. Obama's Big Night At Invesco
Although Barack Obama's acceptance speech on Thursday was impressive in many ways, I can't help but feel that political conventions officially jumped the shark when the Democrats booked Invesco Field for the final day of their big party. It can only get larger and sloppier from here. What's McCain g...

Your Morning Video Wake Up Call Will Not Be Seen This Morning
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know. Unfortunate...

College Football Kickoff Night: North Carolina State vs. South Carolina
Enough of your waiting, young stallion. The Pack of Wolves are visiting the Game of Cocks. To christen the season on TV, ESPN's Chris Fowler, Craig James and Jesse Palmer are behind the mic. Erin Andrews is behind the sidelines with a different mic — one that gets way more pageviews than a regular m...