a Page 7837 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Seriously, Who Ever Thought A Magazine For Athletes Would Work?
We, like just about everybody else who has actually seen the man speak in the last five years, remain awfully skeptical of this supposed financial brilliance of Lenny Dykstra. If you need any more proof, just remember: He's still struggling with his magazine for athletes, "The Players Club." ("Keep...

Pizza Madness Grips Ohio
OK, it wasn't quite THAT bad. But Papa John's 23-cent pizza promotion in Northeast Ohio on Thursday did draw enormous crowds, and wasn't completely peaceful. Aside from some stores running out of pizzas, there were shoving matches and verbal altercations as people waited in line for discount pies fo...

The Placement Of That Pitch Has Vexed Me, Sir. Now We Shall Wrestle
It's not really a classic baseball brawl until a tubby Don Zimmer is thrown to the turf, but this'll do. It happened on Thursday at Safeco Field: After the Rangers' Kason Gabbard tossed a fourth-inning delivery at the Mariners' Richie Sexson at face level, Sexson charged the mound and clocked Gabba...

Look Out, Mr. Turco
The NHL Closer is written by the five feathered friends at Melt Your Face-Off. When not flying south for the winter and molting, they recap the night in Hockey. Reasonable Doubt, contrary to popular belief, is not a Red Wing. He has not, nor has he ever been, a member of the communist party. He migh...

Invasion Of The LeBron Snatchers!
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who could be replaced by an alien doppelganger any day now. It's been nice knowing you. When he's not trying to organize an underground resistance, he can be found practicing his "Nanu Nanu" at Basketbawful. Enjoy!...

About Last Night
What you missed while stocking up on healthy snacks ... • NBA: Cavaliers summon Iron Man after Celtics take 2-0 series lead. • NHL: Hot Wings to go ... Detroit wins series opener over Stars. • MLB: Don't try it, he's got the high ground ... O's 6-foot-9 Daniel Cabrera tames the Royals....

All Hail Derek Jeter's Golden Baby Arm
It is times like these where Yankee-haters even must bow down to the catnip that is Derek Jeter's machismo. Maxim's Hot 100 list contains six women who've been romantically linked to the Yankee shortstop....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after reading your kids a bedtime story ... • NBA: Eastern Conference semifinals, Game 2, Cleveland at Boston (7 p.m., ET); Western Conference semifinals, Game 3, New Orleans at San Antonio (9:30 p.m., ET). We welcome our new Hornets overlords. I can be helpful in finding people to toi...

The NBA Playoffs: A Thursday Night Viewer's Guide
Basketbawful once again brings you the nightly NBA previews. And the Spurs' championship formula. Basically, they...well, keep reading. Cleveland versus Boston: Game 2 LeBron James. I'm not a betting man, but I'd be willing to bet my life's savings - all $27.93 of it - that LeBron isn't going to h...

Excavating Joe Montana For Fun And Profit
The professional snoopers at The Smoking Gun have uncovered their latest oddball lawsuit between Hall of Fame quarterback Joe Montana and his ex-wife, Kim Moses, pertaining to the auction sale of some personal items from his college days including a photo I.D. and sappy love letters (one on a Ziggy ...

O How We Love The Wisconsin
If you are interested in the dumbing-down of the culture that we and our ilk gleefully purvey on a regular basis, and you happen to live in the greater Milwaukee area, we remind you to come out tonight and join us in Brookfield, Wisc., for another step in the GSTF book tour....

Has Marvin Harrison's Shady Past (And Present) Finally Caught Up To Him?
The muddled circumstances surrounding Colts wide receiver Marvin Harrison's invovement in a shooting last week are slowly coming together. The facts: it was Harrison's gun that was used; six casings from his gun were found; Harrison was interviewed and had a fistfight with a man; some people got sho...

Revisiting The Worst Golf Round Of All Time
On ESPN.com yesterday, you might have read Jason Sobel's gory tale of the man man who shot a 66 on one nightmarish golf hole. (The 17th at TPC Sawgrass, if you're into that type of thing.) It's a terrifying tale, no less scary that we don't play golf. But then we recognized the last name of the gol...

LeBron James Has Obviously Never Been A Waiter
Anbody who's ever been a waiter in their life realizes that it can be a dreadfully demeaning job. Regardless of how much tip money you collect for five hours of work (most of which usually go back into the restaurant during the post-shift decompression time at the bar) there's always a moment when y...

Previewing The Flyers-Penguins
The Deadspin NHL Playoff Previews are brought to you the five wealthiest people in the world known as the MYFO Pentaverate. They blog from a secret country mansion known as the Meadows. Beware their wee beady eyes and those smug looks on their faces. Today, Hextall454 breaks down the Eastern Confer...

THE CHRIS FARLEY SHOW by Tom Farley, Jr., and Tanner Colby
Come and read the raucous, heartfelt, and heartbreaking story of a man who lived to make us laugh, and died trying—featuring over 100 new interviews with David Spade, Chris Rock, Lorne Michaels, Alec Baldwin, and many more. CHECK OUT AN EXCERPT AND ENTER TO WIN A COPY OF THE BOOK....

LeBron James, NHL '94, Tecmo Bo, Foosball, Cooking Dinner For The Ladies And The Dominant Force Of The Move
This is BALLS DEEP With Big Daddy Drew (Balls® is a registered trademark and has been used with the expressed written consent of AJ Daulerio). It's gonna be like an SI Point After column, only with dick jokes. You can email him here....

Naked People In England? Now We've Seen Everything
• Wayne Rooney's naked cousin. [Unprofessional Foul] • How to save Arena Football. [Socal Sports Hub] • The Bulls are getting quite the announcer next year. [Food Court Lunch] • The similarities between the English Premier League and the Democratic Presidential race. [The Offside] • So the National ...

Gamecock And Blowie, Together At Last
Of course you all know the University of South Carolina Gamecock, pictured at left. But you may not be familiar with Blowie, the mascot of the Columbia Blowfish of the Coastal Plain League (the only costumed mascot who is deadly poisonous if not properly cooked). I'm not sure of the circumstances w...

Media Approval Ratings: John Madden
Hey, when's a better time to take a look at John Madden in these rankings than the beginning of May? We can't think of a more apt moment in time....